Author Topic: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all  (Read 2461 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Lorie_P

  • Lorie_P
  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« on: December 18, 2013, 02:23:50 PM »
I was curious what everyone thinks of this situation...

A few years ago, we had a fill-in VP for our department. She took over after the former VP left and was fulfilling her job duties as the EOIO and VP of HR. She had worked with all 14 of us for about 18 months when this happened.

It was our holiday luncheon at a nice restaurant. We had just completed our number draw gift exchange and were all in a good mood. The Temp VP then handed out gifts just to her 7 direct reports and made a big deal about how they helped her so much through the last year, naming each by name.  The rest of just sat there, with no mentions how we also helped her. No expressions of gratitude or a small trinket to show her thanks. Needless to say the rest of us felt pretty lousy and couldn't leave fast enough.

Even years later it still upsets me how the rest of the office was basically ignored.

(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

Harriet Jones

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6588
  • Yes, we know who you are.
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2013, 02:27:11 PM »
Awkward! She should have saved the gift-giving for another time.

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13645
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2013, 02:31:43 PM »
I can understand giving gifts only to her 7 reports but to give them out in a setting where she wasn't giving gifts to half the group?  Bad idea.

Who did the other 7 people report to?
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

Mikayla

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4049
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2013, 02:36:08 PM »


(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

Aaah....the irony is killing me.


Chelsealady

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2013, 03:24:52 PM »
I ran into practically the same thing today.  Our CEO didn't include me on his Holiday message.  And I am completely bummed about it.   I emailed my supervisor who was copied on the email.  And basically got told to don't worry about it.   You either do it for all or keep it secret from those you don't do.   

Ceallach

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4746
    • This Is It
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2013, 03:35:44 PM »
Incredibly rude and thoughtless.

It's this type of exec who give managers a bad name - sure she is doing something "nice", but she is also demonstrating that she is completely self absorbed and out of touch from the rest of the organization and employees.  There are situations where singling a person out for special praise is appropriate, but certain times and certain ways.   Not like this.   
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Lynn2000

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4959
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2013, 03:55:44 PM »
Yeah, I can understand being bummed. She should've chosen a different time to give those 7 their gifts, or had something outwardly equal to give to everyone. And, she could've praised everyone as well. Not well-handled.
~Lynn2000

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4145
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2013, 04:14:04 PM »


(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

Aaah....the irony is killing me.

Yeah, I burst out laughing at the unbelievability of this woman's behavior.

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30473
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2013, 06:06:27 PM »
I can understand giving gifts only to her 7 reports but to give them out in a setting where she wasn't giving gifts to half the group?  Bad idea.


I agree.
Very bad form.

Betelnut

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3685
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2013, 07:41:41 PM »
Wow, that is incredible!  I give everyone in our organization (only 15 people) little gift bags of homemade candy and then an extra gift card to my direct staff but it is all done one-on-one the day of our holiday party.  I would never do that at a party that everyone attends!

Very thoughtless.
"And thus the whirligig of time brings in his
revenges." -- Feste, Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare.

Native Texan, Marylander currently

Lorie_P

  • Lorie_P
  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2013, 07:32:31 AM »
I can understand giving gifts only to her 7 reports but to give them out in a setting where she wasn't giving gifts to half the group?  Bad idea.

Who did the other 7 people report to?

The rest of us reported to her reports. So, yes my boss got a gift and praise and I was ignored. I'm happy to say that my boss appreciates me and did give me a lovely gift last year.

Hmmmmm

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6334
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2013, 09:15:42 AM »
I wonder if it was a planning fail. That she was expecting each manager to speak and recognize their employees in attendance. Maybe that was the norm in her previous assignments. But she should have confirmed.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9735
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2013, 09:53:56 AM »


(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

*sporfles*

I do not think that means what she thinks it means.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

sparksals

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17333
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2013, 01:25:41 PM »


(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

Aaah....the irony is killing me.


No kidding! 






DoubleTrouble

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1331
Re: Giving praise and gifts to some but not all
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2013, 06:27:56 PM »

(BTW - EOIO stands for Equal Opportunity and Inclusiveness Officer. )

Aaah....the irony is killing me.

Yeah, I burst out laughing at the unbelievability of this woman's behavior.

We really, really, really need a LIKE button!