Author Topic: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?  (Read 1601 times)

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veronaz

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Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« on: December 20, 2013, 07:24:04 PM »
Today I was in a convenience store and the cashier was taking care of the man in front of me (I’d say he was in his 60s).  As he stood there, I smelled a nice cologne which I hadn’t smelled in a really long time.

So I asked “Sir, if I may ask, what is the fragrance I’m smelling?”

He smiled and said “Jade East – old school”.

I laughed and said “Aaaah!  Brings back memories. ;) Thanks!"

He, the cashier, another customer, and I had a nice laugh.

I was telling a friend about it and she thought I was being a bit tacky.  I disagreed – I said I’ve asked guys/strangers that question before.  (Once because I wanted to buy the same after shave for my ex).  Men don’t seem to mind the question, and I doubt they take it as a flirt thing.

Friend asked if I would have asked if he had been with a wife/girlfriend.  I said "Yes!, without hesitation."

If I had leered or said "You really smell delicious" and followed him out of the store that would be different.

What say you, ehell?
« Last Edit: December 20, 2013, 07:29:19 PM by veronaz »

Library Dragon

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2013, 07:35:13 PM »
IMO perfectly fine and can be complimentary. 

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White Lotus

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2013, 07:38:16 PM »
Seems fine to me.  Probably made his day. 
What would I think if a man asked about my scent?  I think it would depend how he asked.  "You smell delicious" or the like seems flirtatious at best.  "What a great fragrance. May I ask what it is?"  I wouldn't have a problem with that.  Just stay away from flirtatious or intimacy, and I think it is fine.  It is a compliment, when worded correctly.  The difference seems whether the emphasis is on the fragrance or on its wearer, now that I think about it.

greencat

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2013, 07:40:59 PM »
I feel flattered when people ask me for a specific about my appearance - I've often heard it said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and when someone asks me where I got my shoes/got my nails done/what scent I'm wearing, I take it as a compliment.

rose red

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2013, 07:51:44 PM »
I think it's fine as long as it's asked in a friendly yet no-nonsense "businesslike" manner.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2013, 08:25:56 PM »
I think you were fine.  I've asked people what scent they're wearing, or that i like their shoes or coat or haircut or whatever.  On the flip side, I have had people ask me if I wear coloured contacts because my eye colour is a little different.  I wear contact lenses yes, because I need them to see, but the only colour on them is the manufacturer's handling tint.  I've never found it offensive; on the contrary I find it flattering.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2013, 09:04:29 PM »
It wouldn't bother me, if I were the one being asked. And IME, people haven't been offended when I've asked.  This past Easter I sat next to a woman with a fragrance that was very nice and I asked "What is that fragrance? It's lovely" or something to that effect.  She smiled, thanked me for the compliment and told me what it was.

Course now I can't remember the name but it was a lovely smell, warm and spicy.

As long as the comment's not creepy ("You smell good enough to eat" from a stranger would not go over well with most, I'm sure)  and is kept more inquisitive and lightly flattering, I don't think it's rude.

I wouldn't be offended by a "That's a lovely fragrance you're wearing, what is it?"
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luvmyboys

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2013, 09:34:16 PM »
"Jade East"  That just brought back so many memories, my Dad wore JE when I was little!  Now I may just run out and buy some so I can remember him even more!    I don't think you did anything wrong, you gave him a compliment.


metallicafan

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2013, 09:35:56 PM »
I have no problem being asked about my fragrance,  I don't view it as tacky at all.  I've done the asking as well. 

*inviteseller

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2013, 09:45:20 PM »
I have asked too...I see it as complimentary if you say "That's a nice cologne you are wearing, may I ask what it is?"

sweetonsno

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2013, 12:27:21 AM »
I think it's just fine. Wouldn't bug me a bit.

m2kbug

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2013, 12:30:01 AM »
I think it's fine.  I've done it. 

jaxsue

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2013, 11:16:37 AM »
I think it's fine. I wear a certain scent that a lot of people compliment (I'm not bathed in it, I don't want to overpower people). I appreciate the fact that people like it.

Mikayla

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2013, 01:09:51 PM »
I'd love to know the friend's rationale as to why this was tacky.

If a female politely asks a male what scent he's using, the obvious conclusion is she wants to drag him immediately back to her lair, where she fully intends to have her way with him?

Alrighty then!  Sheesh.  I also thought her question about what you'd do if the wife was there was borderline insulting.  It implies you *did* have some weird intent. 

veronaz

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Re: Okay to ask "what's that fragrance/scent"?
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2013, 05:44:14 PM »
I'd love to know the friend's rationale as to why this was tacky.

If a female politely asks a male what scent he's using, the obvious conclusion is she wants to drag him immediately back to her lair, where she fully intends to have her way with him?

Alrighty then!  Sheesh.  I also thought her question about what you'd do if the wife was there was borderline insulting.  It implies you *did* have some weird intent.

I completely agree with you.

I think she meant the part about me saying the scent brought back memories was tacky.  Well, I don’t see anything wrong with it…..we were having fun.

However, this friend is known to be quite possessive/jealous of her husband’s interaction with women.  I’ve seen her at casual gatherings and suffice to say anyone who says more than “hello” to him is treated with suspicion.

But that’s her problem.  <shrug>