I was about to say Margo was rude but after rereading I noticed with one exception Claudia instigated every for lack of a better word smack down.
I arrived at Margo's home, handed her a gift and walked in. There were 9 others. Two were children o.O
Claudia, another guest, had brought her two kids. One is 4, the other is 6. Claudia is a lovely lady, but she can be quite oblivious to what is acceptable vs what isn't! As chit chat went on, Claudia said something like "I hope it isn't too much trouble, James and John are always so well behaved!" Margo replied "I am sure they are. What a surprise that you came, I really wasn't expecting you at all!"
I think by fishing for a "oh no its fine" response Claudia is the one who actually caused this interaction> I seems she was being manipulative and failed.
Now, this made it VERY clear that Claudia had not RSVPed. (Was it rude of Margo to point it out to everyone?). The conversation reignited at dinnertime. It was obvious that the table had been arranged for 8 ppl. As we walked to the table, Margo said, "Oh please wait a moment. I wasn't expecting to have 10 guests instead of 7. Then she set separate dinner placings at the table for John and James and Claudia. (Again, quite this made it clear that Claudia and her boys had crashed the party. Was this rude?) *If this was the only thing Margo had said I'm not sure I would call her rude.
James and John were served the salad and soup appys with everyone else, but when the main course of Salmon came, they were given a plate each of tuna sandwiches. Claudia suddenly spoke up. "Oh, my boys usually eat a proper meal for their main! Would you mind?" I honestly was quite shocked by Claudia's boldness, but Margo didn't even skip a beat. She said "Oh dear, I am sorry, I didn't know. And proceeded to take CLAUDIA's salmon dish into the kitchen with James and John's sandwiches. Everyone looked surprised. Margo emerged 5 mins later with the salmon portioned into two plastic plates, and the tuna sandwiches on the china dinner plate. Guess who got what :O (was this rude of Margo?)I don't think so Claudia asked for her children to have the Salmon, whose should have have taken to give to the children
Margo was cheerful and very friendly as she went, "Here you go. Okay let's continue with dinner!" And filled up our wine glasses and chitchat as though nothing strange had happened. We went on happily until dessert. Then Claudia suddenly said, "How come Nemesis got a full dinner when I had arrived before her?" Everyone turned to look at her and me. Before I could reply, Margo cheerfully said, "Oh, I was expecting Nemesis." Then she changed the topic very quickly. Margo couldn't have done any better IMHO
It's rude to accept even an uninvited guest into your home and not be gracious but at almost every point here Claudia started the exchange. Taken one at a time , I can accept an invited guest but I don't have to say " its fine" when they ask "its ok that I brought my uninvited children." if someone asked for something other then what I serve for their UNINVITED children I don't think sharing their portion between the kids is rude(especially with a plated meal) Margo was gracious then Claudia upped the ante again.
So I think Claudia was actually the only rude one. Claudia instigated all the uncomfortable situations. Margo may have been prepared to be gracious but at letting any further rudeness from Claudia go.