Author Topic: Would you say Margo was rude? #79, #139 non-update update  (Read 28095 times)

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Jones

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2013, 09:48:42 PM »
My thoughts are along the lines of Peanut (welcome) so I'll just stand and nod at that. "My boys are accustomed to a full meal" and "Why does Nemesis get the good food when I was here first"...really? If Claudia's always like that then I admire Margo for reining it in!

rose red

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2013, 09:51:11 PM »
Yikes.  I can't imagine treating a friend that way even if they did crash my party.  If I can't accommodate them, I would tell them so and send them away (or ask if they'd like to stay and have sandwiches).  If there's a history with the friend, I would stop inviting them to formal dinner parties in the first place.  I wouldn't even let them know I was throwing one.

Nemesis

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2013, 09:56:35 PM »
Long time lurker, first time posting - I would be curious to know what happend before you arrived.  Claudia seems to be so clueless that I could imagine Margo attempting to turn her away at the door and Claudia ignoring her.

I'm picturing the salmon as the pre-cut fillets that tend to be about 6 ounces?   It would make sense to buy one extra for a dinner party in case of a cooking accident, but it's unreasonable, as well as wasteful, for even a very generous host to buy 18 extra ounces of what can be a fairly pricy fish that they are not expecting to have anyone eat.  The fact that Claudia assumed over an extra pound of salmon could be readily at hand for her and her children is not just rude, but... oblivious?

And after the re-plating she seems to understand that there wasn't enough fish, but then can't fathom why the fancy dinner party doesn't operate like some sort first come first serve black Friday special? It seems like she thinks that Margo is running a restaurant.

Welcome peanut8! I do not know what transpired before I arrived. However, you are right about Claudia, she is a nice and lovely lady. But she is also the sort who doesn't get that the world doesn't think the same way as she does. She is always saying things such "Of COURSE Mike (her spouse) doesn't mind doing xyz for you, just tell us the time!" And if you look at Mike, it is obvious that he is cringing.

Yes, the salmon is the lovely boneless fillet, grilled with garlic butter sauce. Served on the plate with asparagus on the side and a scoop of cheesey mashed potatoes. Yum. Claudia has a war on her hands if she thinks that I am giving up that meal for tuna sandwiches!

bloo

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2013, 10:00:54 PM »
Long time lurker, first time posting - I would be curious to know what happend before you arrived.  Claudia seems to be so clueless that I could imagine Margo attempting to turn her away at the door and Claudia ignoring her.

I'm picturing the salmon as the pre-cut fillets that tend to be about 6 ounces?   It would make sense to buy one extra for a dinner party in case of a cooking accident, but it's unreasonable, as well as wasteful, for even a very generous host to buy 18 extra ounces of what can be a fairly pricy fish that they are not expecting to have anyone eat.  The fact that Claudia assumed over an extra pound of salmon could be readily at hand for her and her children is not just rude, but... oblivious?

And after the re-plating she seems to understand that there wasn't enough fish, but then can't fathom why the fancy dinner party doesn't operate like some sort first come first serve black Friday special? It seems like she thinks that Margo is running a restaurant.

Welcome!

When i read Claudias questioning of Nemesis food, i thought the same thing! In principle i agree with zizi-k, but i gotta admit i admire Margo!

shhh its me

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2013, 10:10:28 PM »
I was about to say Margo was rude but after rereading I noticed with one exception  Claudia instigated every for lack of a better word smack down.

I arrived at Margo's home, handed her a gift and walked in. There were 9 others. Two were children o.O

Claudia, another guest, had brought her two kids. One is 4, the other is 6. Claudia is a lovely lady, but she can be quite oblivious to what is acceptable vs what isn't! As chit chat went on, Claudia said something like "I hope it isn't too much trouble, James and John are always so well behaved!" Margo replied "I am sure they are. What a surprise that you came, I really wasn't expecting you at all!"
I think by fishing for a "oh no its fine" response Claudia is the one who actually caused this interaction> I seems she was being manipulative and failed. 
Now, this made it VERY clear that Claudia had not RSVPed. (Was it rude of Margo to point it out to everyone?). The conversation reignited at dinnertime. It was obvious that the table had been arranged for 8 ppl. As we walked to the table, Margo said, "Oh please wait a moment. I wasn't expecting to have 10 guests instead of 7. Then she set separate dinner placings at the table for John and James and Claudia. (Again, quite this made it clear that Claudia and her boys had crashed the party. Was this rude?) *If this was the only thing Margo had said I'm not sure I would call her rude.

James and John were served the salad and soup appys with everyone else, but when the main course of Salmon came, they were given a plate each of tuna sandwiches. Claudia suddenly spoke up. "Oh, my boys usually eat a proper meal for their main! Would you mind?" I honestly was quite shocked by Claudia's boldness, but Margo didn't even skip a beat. She said "Oh dear, I am sorry,  I didn't know. And proceeded to take CLAUDIA's salmon dish into the kitchen with James and John's sandwiches. Everyone looked surprised. Margo emerged 5 mins later with the salmon portioned into two plastic plates, and the tuna sandwiches on the china dinner plate. Guess who got what :O (was this rude of Margo?)I don't think so Claudia asked for her children to have the Salmon, whose should have have taken to give to the children

Margo was cheerful and very friendly as she went, "Here you go. Okay let's continue with dinner!" And filled up our wine glasses and chitchat as though nothing strange had happened. We went on happily until dessert. Then Claudia suddenly said, "How come Nemesis got a full dinner when I had arrived before her?" Everyone turned to look at her and me. Before I could reply, Margo cheerfully said, "Oh,  I was expecting Nemesis." Then she changed the topic very quickly. Margo couldn't have done any better IMHO

It's rude to accept even an uninvited guest into your home and not be gracious but at almost every point here Claudia started the exchange.  Taken one at a time , I can accept an invited guest but I don't have to say " its fine" when they ask "its ok that I brought my uninvited children."  if someone asked for something other then what I serve for their  UNINVITED children I don't think sharing their portion between the kids is rude(especially with a plated meal) Margo was gracious then Claudia upped the ante again.

So I think Claudia was actually the only rude one. Claudia instigated all the uncomfortable situations. Margo may have been prepared to be gracious but at letting any further rudeness from Claudia go.


*inviteseller

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2013, 10:18:48 PM »
I think I love Margo !  What she did was show Claudia the consequences of her boorish behavior (OP says this is not the first time she has done this to others).  When Claudia showed up with her 2 kids to a party she was not supposed to be at, either uninvited or didn't RSVP, Margo could have turned her away at the door but Claudia sounds clueless and that may not have deterred her so Margo showed her, with polite words, what a pain in the rump it is when people just show up.  You want to come with your 2 kid?   Fine, weren't expecting you so here;s your meal..she is still extending hospitality, especially when she did give Claudia the good food.  Then Claudia had the gall to expect her 2 children, who were never invited in the first place, would get the expensive food?  Fine, they can have it and Claudia can eat the tuna fish sandwich.  Then to say it is 'first come, first serve' ?  She sure has some brass ones.  Margo wasn't rude to call Claudia out..Claudia called herself out, Margo was still being a pretty nice hostess, but she was setting the ground rules.  I bet Claudia didn't get it tho!

heathert

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2013, 10:23:38 PM »
I don't know about the situation, but does this Margo have any plans for a future dinner party?  I am wanting salmon in the worst way now!

 ;D

JenJay

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #22 on: December 21, 2013, 10:33:43 PM »
I was about to say Margo was rude but after rereading I noticed with one exception  Claudia instigated every for lack of a better word smack down.

I arrived at Margo's home, handed her a gift and walked in. There were 9 others. Two were children o.O

Claudia, another guest, had brought her two kids. One is 4, the other is 6. Claudia is a lovely lady, but she can be quite oblivious to what is acceptable vs what isn't! As chit chat went on, Claudia said something like "I hope it isn't too much trouble, James and John are always so well behaved!" Margo replied "I am sure they are. What a surprise that you came, I really wasn't expecting you at all!"
I think by fishing for a "oh no its fine" response Claudia is the one who actually caused this interaction> I seems she was being manipulative and failed. 
Now, this made it VERY clear that Claudia had not RSVPed. (Was it rude of Margo to point it out to everyone?). The conversation reignited at dinnertime. It was obvious that the table had been arranged for 8 ppl. As we walked to the table, Margo said, "Oh please wait a moment. I wasn't expecting to have 10 guests instead of 7. Then she set separate dinner placings at the table for John and James and Claudia. (Again, quite this made it clear that Claudia and her boys had crashed the party. Was this rude?) *If this was the only thing Margo had said I'm not sure I would call her rude.

James and John were served the salad and soup appys with everyone else, but when the main course of Salmon came, they were given a plate each of tuna sandwiches. Claudia suddenly spoke up. "Oh, my boys usually eat a proper meal for their main! Would you mind?" I honestly was quite shocked by Claudia's boldness, but Margo didn't even skip a beat. She said "Oh dear, I am sorry,  I didn't know. And proceeded to take CLAUDIA's salmon dish into the kitchen with James and John's sandwiches. Everyone looked surprised. Margo emerged 5 mins later with the salmon portioned into two plastic plates, and the tuna sandwiches on the china dinner plate. Guess who got what :O (was this rude of Margo?)I don't think so Claudia asked for her children to have the Salmon, whose should have have taken to give to the children

Margo was cheerful and very friendly as she went, "Here you go. Okay let's continue with dinner!" And filled up our wine glasses and chitchat as though nothing strange had happened. We went on happily until dessert. Then Claudia suddenly said, "How come Nemesis got a full dinner when I had arrived before her?" Everyone turned to look at her and me. Before I could reply, Margo cheerfully said, "Oh,  I was expecting Nemesis." Then she changed the topic very quickly. Margo couldn't have done any better IMHO

It's rude to accept even an uninvited guest into your home and not be gracious but at almost every point here Claudia started the exchange.  Taken one at a time , I can accept an invited guest but I don't have to say " its fine" when they ask "its ok that I brought my uninvited children."  if someone asked for something other then what I serve for their  UNINVITED children I don't think sharing their portion between the kids is rude(especially with a plated meal) Margo was gracious then Claudia upped the ante again.

So I think Claudia was actually the only rude one. Claudia instigated all the uncomfortable situations. Margo may have been prepared to be gracious but at letting any further rudeness from Claudia go.

Oh man you're right. I was ready to say that, while I appreciate Margo's spunk, she was ultimately rude for having invited Claudia in just to repeatedly shame her. But you're absolutely correct - Claudia did initiate each gentle smackdown she received. I suppose it would have been better if Margo had said, regarding dinner, "I'm sorry but there aren't any extra entrees. If you'd like I'd be happy to divide yours." but hey, she did do as her guest requested and provide the boys with a proper meal!

auntmeegs

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2013, 10:51:54 PM »
I think Margo was both not rude, and AWESOME.

POD.  Margo is brilliant, IMO.

buvezdevin

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2013, 10:53:18 PM »
I think Margo was both not rude, and AWESOME.

POD.  Margo is brilliant, IMO.

Totally Team Margo.
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KenveeB

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #25 on: December 21, 2013, 10:54:36 PM »
I think shh it's me has it right -- Claudia is the one who instigated everything I would call "rudeness" on Margo's part. She was being PA and fishing for "oh, it's fine, of course you and your children are welcome" comments when she knew good and well she'd crashed. Margo just wasn't giving in to that. Good for her!

doodlemor

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #26 on: December 21, 2013, 10:55:44 PM »
I was about to say Margo was rude but after rereading I noticed with one exception  Claudia instigated every for lack of a better word smack down.

I arrived at Margo's home, handed her a gift and walked in. There were 9 others. Two were children o.O

Claudia, another guest, had brought her two kids. One is 4, the other is 6. Claudia is a lovely lady, but she can be quite oblivious to what is acceptable vs what isn't! As chit chat went on, Claudia said something like "I hope it isn't too much trouble, James and John are always so well behaved!" Margo replied "I am sure they are. What a surprise that you came, I really wasn't expecting you at all!"
I think by fishing for a "oh no its fine" response Claudia is the one who actually caused this interaction> I seems she was being manipulative and failed. 
Now, this made it VERY clear that Claudia had not RSVPed. (Was it rude of Margo to point it out to everyone?). The conversation reignited at dinnertime. It was obvious that the table had been arranged for 8 ppl. As we walked to the table, Margo said, "Oh please wait a moment. I wasn't expecting to have 10 guests instead of 7. Then she set separate dinner placings at the table for John and James and Claudia. (Again, quite this made it clear that Claudia and her boys had crashed the party. Was this rude?) *If this was the only thing Margo had said I'm not sure I would call her rude.

James and John were served the salad and soup appys with everyone else, but when the main course of Salmon came, they were given a plate each of tuna sandwiches. Claudia suddenly spoke up. "Oh, my boys usually eat a proper meal for their main! Would you mind?" I honestly was quite shocked by Claudia's boldness, but Margo didn't even skip a beat. She said "Oh dear, I am sorry,  I didn't know. And proceeded to take CLAUDIA's salmon dish into the kitchen with James and John's sandwiches. Everyone looked surprised. Margo emerged 5 mins later with the salmon portioned into two plastic plates, and the tuna sandwiches on the china dinner plate. Guess who got what :O (was this rude of Margo?)I don't think so Claudia asked for her children to have the Salmon, whose should have have taken to give to the children

Margo was cheerful and very friendly as she went, "Here you go. Okay let's continue with dinner!" And filled up our wine glasses and chitchat as though nothing strange had happened. We went on happily until dessert. Then Claudia suddenly said, "How come Nemesis got a full dinner when I had arrived before her?" Everyone turned to look at her and me. Before I could reply, Margo cheerfully said, "Oh,  I was expecting Nemesis." Then she changed the topic very quickly. Margo couldn't have done any better IMHO

It's rude to accept even an uninvited guest into your home and not be gracious but at almost every point here Claudia started the exchange.  Taken one at a time , I can accept an invited guest but I don't have to say " its fine" when they ask "its ok that I brought my uninvited children."  if someone asked for something other then what I serve for their  UNINVITED children I don't think sharing their portion between the kids is rude(especially with a plated meal) Margo was gracious then Claudia upped the ante again.

So I think Claudia was actually the only rude one. Claudia instigated all the uncomfortable situations. Margo may have been prepared to be gracious but at letting any further rudeness from Claudia go.

Oh man you're right. I was ready to say that, while I appreciate Margo's spunk, she was ultimately rude for having invited Claudia in just to repeatedly shame her. But you're absolutely correct - Claudia did initiate each gentle smackdown she received. I suppose it would have been better if Margo had said, regarding dinner, "I'm sorry but there aren't any extra entrees. If you'd like I'd be happy to divide yours." but hey, she did do as her guest requested and provide the boys with a proper meal!

I second this.  You're absolutely right.  Claudia instigated everything, and got her servings of just desserts. 

TootsNYC

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #27 on: December 21, 2013, 11:06:16 PM »
I love this from Claudia:

Quote
Then Claudia suddenly said, "How come Nemesis got a full dinner when I had arrived before her?"

As if Margot is a place of business that serves food on a first-come, first-served basis.

I agree that Margot should have taken Claudia aside to say, "I wasn't expecting you, and I certainly wasn't expecting your boys. I don't have enough food to give them the main course--would they like a tuna sandwich, or peanut butter, or would you like to give them a little or your salmon?
   "I really don't fancy the idea of taking food away from the other guests, who were kind enough to RSVP so I could be prepared for them. I'm already cutting into their portions in order to provide for you, but adding on the two boys is simply more than my planning is ready for."

But I do agree w/ shhh its me that Margo's "rude" remarks were mostly in response to Claudia's fishing for absolution, etc.

petal

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #28 on: December 21, 2013, 11:07:07 PM »
good story!!!

my opinion is that Margo was fine.  I know people say she should have turned the uninvited 3 away at the door  but that can be a very difficult thing to do and say at the time. 

at first I was thinking Margo was being very PA but she wasnt really.  she was stating a fact each time.

she wasnt expecting this many guests and repeated that fact when her hosting was questioned

TootsNYC

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Re: Would you say Margo was rude?
« Reply #29 on: December 21, 2013, 11:13:31 PM »
Quote
Edited to add : I do not know if Claudia had done this to Margo before. But at one mutual friend's home where I had arrived first, the boys had greeted the hostess so sweetly and politely when the door was opened. They were all dressed up and looked angelic. The hostess privately told me later on that she would have turned Claudia away if she had arrived alone, but she just couldn't do it when two cute boys were smiling so sweetly and expectedly at her. Maybe the same thing happened when Margo opened the door.


OP, I'm so curious--why would the woman have turned Claudia away--had she not RSVP'd, or was she not invited?