General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Is there a polite way to express disbelief? (second example)

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Allyson:
At least for me, my 'troll sense' doesn't really have that much to do with how outlandish the story seems, because as many people say, super strange things can really happen! I can usually spot fake stories, both online and in real life, but it relies on other cues than the simple facts of what they are saying. I'm not saying I'm never wrong, but just like some people have particularly good 'creep sense', I can usually spot it.

I used to get really irate about it, too. I still have a hard time listening to it in real life, but online I'm way more inclined to let things go. Sure, if someone directly said to me "Do you think X person is maybe kinda full of it?" I'd probably answer them, but in general, well, I have gotten a lot better at not caring!

It will make me change my opinion of the person, though, which online is generally not an issue as it's just a name and I'm not engaging with them further. There's one person in real life though who tells stories that are pretty clearly made up, and it's very hard for me to have a positive opinion of them when I can't believe a word they say.

Lynn2000:
I think there's probably no polite way to express disbelief in the sense of, "I think you are lying."

I hear people at work talking about stuff all the time like, "Oh, my neighbor said that if you take this particular road on a Tuesday and stay in this lane, they'll let you through the toll station for free!" and I'll be like, "Mmm, that hasn't been my experience." Or someone says, "How can I do X?" and someone else responds, "Oh, it's easy, it's just one little form!" and I'll be like, "Mmm, I remember it being more complicated than that, maybe you should check the X Authority website first." I think that's perfectly polite; it's suggesting that someone might be mistaken, or might have misunderstood, or should check with actual authority instead of relying on hearsay (so sometimes more for the benefit of a third party who has no clue).

But honestly, even then, unless we're getting into issues of potential harm, if someone is bent on arguing with me about it, I'm just going to bow out rather than pursue it to the ground. If there's a third party asking how to do something, I've now introduced into their minds the idea that they should investigate this independently a little more, and if they choose not to take that advice, it's on them if something goes wrong.

If we're talking about forwards on Facebook--someone reposts a message from someone they don't know, warning that if you leave your swimming pool water standing for too long, it will grow carnivorous octopuses that will attack your children--I usually completely ignore them, and don't even read them enough to know the content. I guess one could respond with a link from Snopes and say, "Whew! Thank goodness, I checked and this isn't true!" which doesn't really call the original poster a liar, just gullible. Not sure if that's really better, though.  :-\

If we're talking about posts on this forum, I think the only acceptable things to do are 1) report fishiness to a mod; and/or 2) ask super-neutral clarifying questions. I know that I've done the latter before only to discover that, in fact, *I* was the one making a mistake by mixing up two different posters ::facepalm:: so I was especially glad I hadn't said anything more accusatory.

melicious:

--- Quote from: JennJenn68 on January 03, 2014, 09:40:55 PM ---To me, if it's online, I don't bother.  About ninety-five percent of the stuff I read on "Not Always Right" I'm convinced is wish-fulfillment fantasy.  What can be accomplished by calling the person out on it?  Unless he/she is trying to siphon money or other tangible things from readers based on it, it's completely futile.  It's just the twenty-first century version of "Queen For A Day"...  (and laurels awarded to those old enough to remember that particular piece of tripe!)

--- End quote ---

Haha! Off topic, but I was JUST on Not Always Right and saw a story I was convinced was total bullflop.
Particularly the ones where the whole store breaks out into applause after an unruly customer is booted out - there's far too many of those and that kind of scene sounds straight out of Hollywood.

shhh its me:

--- Quote from: melicious on January 09, 2014, 03:42:11 PM ---
--- Quote from: JennJenn68 on January 03, 2014, 09:40:55 PM ---To me, if it's online, I don't bother.  About ninety-five percent of the stuff I read on "Not Always Right" I'm convinced is wish-fulfillment fantasy.  What can be accomplished by calling the person out on it?  Unless he/she is trying to siphon money or other tangible things from readers based on it, it's completely futile.  It's just the twenty-first century version of "Queen For A Day"...  (and laurels awarded to those old enough to remember that particular piece of tripe!)

--- End quote ---

Haha! Off topic, but I was JUST on Not Always Right and saw a story I was convinced was total bullflop.
Particularly the ones where the whole store breaks out into applause after an unruly customer is booted out - there's far too many of those and that kind of scene sounds straight out of Hollywood.

--- End quote ---

I think a lot of NAR is "this is what I wished happened".

Myself I don't get emotional about much but when I see people getting really invested I'm more likely to make a small mention, very gently question or report a thread.   I may be getting some of the details wrong but I recall 2 threads that then posters where eventually thought to be trolling for reactions....one was about a HOA trying to foreclose on a home that was never part of the HOA People were upset but most were ,"Well it wild that no one caught this mistake but obviously a visit to a lawyer of you own will fix it. " so it wasn't causing any harm at that point(I wasn't  here when it was written but saw it long after the posters was exposed and really I may be remember some parts wrong. It did seem like people were getting suspicious at the end) Another was about rape and people were getting upset , I feel that a heart wrenching ongoing tale of rape/discrimination/abuse/dying etc do cause harm.  Now of course this issue would be "Who wants to call in any way shape of form a person saying "I was just raped" a liar."  So those exact circumstances were I would care about the truth and want a troll exposed are the same ones I would be most reluctant to question a poster.

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