Author Topic: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone  (Read 6065 times)

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veronaz

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When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« on: December 23, 2013, 06:12:20 PM »
You cross paths/run into someone who, for whatever reason(s), you have no desire to have future contact with.  You’re civil, but then the person asks your number or hands you their number.

What do you do?

I have had this happen.  I say “No, thanks.  Take care.  “Bye”  Polite, but no expectations of a friendship or future contact.

Others tell me they go ahead and give the number, then avoid the call or make an excuse “I don’t have time to talk on the phone”.  ::)  One friend said he would give a fake number.

I also think the "I'm soooo busy these days" excuse is lame.  We all make time to communicate with those we want in our lives.

Why play those games?   ???
 

MommyPenguin

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2013, 06:22:35 PM »
I think that what I'd do would depend very much on who it was and why I didn't want to exchange numbers.

If it was somebody I liked but just didn't want to chat with on the phone (I am *not* a phone person, I barely call my mom), I'd give my email or I'd suggest that we look each other up on Facebook.

If it was somebody I didn't really like, I'd probably say, "You know, I'm not really a phone person.  Seriously, I barely call my mom!"  But it was nice to catch up.  Bye!"

If it was somebody that I liked but didn't really care to have an ongoing relationship with, I'd probably do the first (email or FB) but mention that I had a lot on my plate and didn't have much time for chatting, so they didn't expect much.

sweetonsno

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2013, 09:20:31 PM »
"Oh, no thanks."

I've also used, "I'm not really comfortable with that" for people who I just met.

MissManager

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2013, 12:09:00 AM »
One of my employees was getting random text messages over the weekends. "Hey it was great meeting you lastnight- RandomName". Turns out her sister (who lived 13 hours away) was giving her phone number to guys she would meet at clubs but didn't want see later.

I have 2 sets of business cards. 1 with my cell phone number and 1 without. If I don't want someone to have my cellphone number I give them the one without... Unfortunately that doesn't stop LinkedIn stalkers...

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2013, 05:52:08 PM »
It is likely I would give a fake # depending on the "drama factor."

Drama factor is my term of how likely is this person to go postal or otherwise respond with mid- to high-drama.

High-drama factor persons I lessen my pain with a fake # and/or email, whatever the case is.

Low-drama factor persons I may say something like "I'm staying so busy, no, thanks" which for me is true.

veronaz

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2013, 06:18:26 PM »
It is likely I would give a fake # depending on the "drama factor."

Drama factor is my term of how likely is this person to go postal or otherwise respond with mid- to high-drama.

High-drama factor persons I lessen my pain with a fake # and/or email, whatever the case is.

Low-drama factor persons I may say something like "I'm staying so busy, no, thanks" which for me is true.

I don't like giving fake numbers......the result is innocent people (busy people, elderly, bedridden, etc.) being bothered by calls.  IMO giving a fake number is cowardly, and giving a fake email is almost as bad.

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2013, 06:28:34 PM »
Understood. But I've tried so many times to engage the crazy with a reasonable explanation that only made things worse. My drama threshold is quite low.

veronaz

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2013, 07:19:21 PM »
Understood. But I've tried so many times to engage the crazy with a reasonable explanation that only made things worse. My drama threshold is quite low.

That's the problem.  You don't need to engage and you don't have to explain.  By doing so, you made things worse.


MariaE

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2013, 07:49:06 PM »
It is likely I would give a fake # depending on the "drama factor."

Drama factor is my term of how likely is this person to go postal or otherwise respond with mid- to high-drama.

High-drama factor persons I lessen my pain with a fake # and/or email, whatever the case is.

Low-drama factor persons I may say something like "I'm staying so busy, no, thanks" which for me is true.

I don't like giving fake numbers......the result is innocent people (busy people, elderly, bedridden, etc.) being bothered by calls.  IMO giving a fake number is cowardly, and giving a fake email is almost as bad.

I'd say that both giving fake email and fake phone numbers is not just cowardly, but rude. And doubly so if it's a number that actually connects.
 
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Elfmama

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2013, 10:10:27 PM »
It is likely I would give a fake # depending on the "drama factor."

Drama factor is my term of how likely is this person to go postal or otherwise respond with mid- to high-drama.

High-drama factor persons I lessen my pain with a fake # and/or email, whatever the case is.
Please do NOT do that! You are just passing the postal on to someone else! No one likes being cussed out because the person on the line thinks you're lying.  "I know NTN is there, you (several sorts of words the filter doesn't like).  Now put her on the phone!"  Even if they're polite, it's flat-out annoying. 
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Tea Drinker

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2013, 10:17:11 PM »
If a person thinks they might want to give out a fake number, they should look up "rejection hotline" and memorize one of those numbers. Not make something up and risk that it'll be answered by a stranger.

Or, I suppose, smile and give "867-5309" and then something like "but you can give me your number, if you like."
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veronaz

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2013, 11:05:35 PM »
It is likely I would give a fake # depending on the "drama factor."

Drama factor is my term of how likely is this person to go postal or otherwise respond with mid- to high-drama.

High-drama factor persons I lessen my pain with a fake # and/or email, whatever the case is.
Please do NOT do that! You are just passing the postal on to someone else! No one likes being cussed out because the person on the line thinks you're lying.  "I know NTN is there, you (several sorts of words the filter doesn't like).  Now put her on the phone!"  Even if they're polite, it's flat-out annoying.

Yes, and all too often those calls from loons come late/middle of the night.  >:(

Runningstar

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2013, 08:10:00 AM »
Veronaz, the few times that someone has asked me for my number (and I didn't want contact with them) it was uncomfortable for me.  You don't want to hurt or offend them, feed into false hopes, or be bothered by them.  I'd also be very interested in a good answer to this.  The closest one that I've had (gulp) done to me was one time where I had run into an acquaintance at the park and asked her if she would call me sometime when she was planning to go again so that we could walk together.  She just replied that she went there all the time, we'd surely run into each other again.  Hmmmmm.........  hint taken.  Maybe something like a generic  - I'm so busy that I don't want to put anything else on my plate, but I'm glad to see you are doing well (or whatever the conversation would lead to).  Then goodbye.

JenJay

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2013, 11:40:07 AM »
I've said "The reception in my house is really spotty and I often miss calls. Email is a much better way to reach me." and given them my junk email address. I do check it, but that's the one I use when I'm signing up for something and don't want to risk getting my main account spammed.

White Lotus

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Re: When you don't want to exchange phone numbers with someone
« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2013, 12:05:10 PM »
If it is a business that just wants my (unlisted) number for telemarketing (no matter what they say) , I used to give my fax number.  I now  have a Google Voice number that just takes messages and emails them  The VR software is bad enough to always give me an excuse for not returning unwanted calls.  The GV number is quite useful when I am overseas and do not want to pay fifty bucks a month for dubious and not terribly useful overseas cell phone service -- all local calls in the country where I am are charged at international LD rates, some nobody needs.  I do pay for data service for my iPad and that gets GV messages to me, which works much better.