I'm Probably Overreacting but....

[Irish Clovers]

....This just irked me to no end.

Ok, here goes.  DH has 5 older brothers and is the youngest at 44.  One of his older brothers is in for a major convention in town and is staying with my MIL.  So, MIL calls me last night and asked me to give BIL a wake up call at 7:00am.  Ummmmmmmm, where's the alarm clock?  "Well, he or I can't figure out how to use it, so make sure you don't forget."

After I picked up my jaw off the floor I reluctantly agreed and then voiced my irritation to DH who thinks I'm completely overracting and "it's a nice thing to do".  Well, fine but I'm NOT doing it every morning for the entire 6 days he's here and have instructed DH to bring over our spare alarm clock for him to use.  My thought is he is a grown man and if he can't figure out how to use his mothers alarm clock, GO BUY ANOTHER ONE.  I am not your wake-up service.  DH doesn't agree.

This "helplessness" runs in the family and DH was totally this way when I met him.  I put a stop to that quick, fast and in a hurry.

Side note, this brother owes DH a rather large some of money and has yet to pay it back so that's contributing to my irritation.

So, am I overreacting?

[Sharnita]

Maybe overreacting the tiniest bit, though the mitigating factor of owing money might be considered. Has there been a schedule of payments that he missed or is it kinda vague?

If I was up anyway, I would probably just do it. I definitely would not set my alarm just to wake up to call him or anything. Why can't hubby give his brother the call and leave you out of it?

I definitely think DH doing a training on basic alarm clock use sounds good.

All in all, I'd be happy to do it for someone "in good standing" but not for someone who was already irritating me in other ways.

[Irish Clovers]

There's supposed to be a "repayment plan" but he never sticks to it. 

[behindbj]

"Hi!  This is your 7am wake-up call and reminder that you owe us XXXX dollars that you haven't been repaying regularly.

Have a great day!"

And, yes - I would actually do this.   But, that's me.

behindbj

[CocoCamm]

If a grown man needed me to be his alarm clock at the request of his mommy, well I may just die laughing. honesly I dont know how you possibly kept a straight face.

I'm with you though. I cant stand helplessness. Its not cute or endearing, its pitiful. If I were you I would have ouright refused and not lost a bit of sleep over it. At the least I would make it your hubbys problem.

[ShadesOfGrey]

The $$ thing is probably adding to your frustration, but I agree with your general predisposition to not feed into the 'helpless' thing.  Sounds like you have a plan though, I say stick to it.  My BF's family is the same way.  

One time, while we were on vacation and having a very important discussion, his aunt called him because she was sick and didnt know what to take for her sniffles.

Did I mention she lives several states away from him AND has a husband?

Did I mention this woman is in her 50's and has cared for several children in her lifetime?

::sigh:: it's just a part of some people's perspective, I guess.  

[Bob Ducca]

I would probably have been offended.  If I were asked nicely and had a good relationship with all involved, maybe, but assuming that you can "take care of this" for them is not really nice.

And why are they asking you instead of DH?  That would bother me as well.  If DH asked me on their behalf, I would probably feel better about it.

And seriously, what 44 year old cannot operate an alarm clock?  How does he wake up at home?  If his wife/family wakes him up at home, have THEM make the wake-up call.

Okay, personal issues intruding...sorry! 

[Lisbeth]

I'd tell your MIL, "Sorry, but if you're not willing to use an alarm clock of your own, this one's between you, DH, and BIL.  So is the loan.  I will not get involved."

[MelJill]

I don't think it's over-reacting ... I think the idea is completely bonkers.

At first, I'd thought 'ok, convention--that means hotel' and of course most hotels offer the wake-up call as a service if you want (but they also provide alarm clocks ... it's only been when it was critical urgent to get up that I did both--I was staying overnight in a hotel due to an airline screw-up, and hadn't gotten into the hotel until after midnight but was continuing on the first flight which left at *ack* 6:30am ...

But he is staying *with* MIL?  Why on earth can't she wake him up whether by phone call or knocking on the door or just giving the slug-a-bed a good swift kick?

[Chocolate Cake]

You aren't overreacting.  It's ridiculous for a healthy, middle aged man to be so incompetent as to need someone else to wake him up.

If I were to be asked to make a wake up call, I'd have probably said, "I can't guarantee that I can do it. Mornings are not good for me.   He should just figure out how to set his alarm instead."

If MIL persisted, I'd agree to it and then "forget"  (I said mornings weren't good for me.....) 

[Irish Clovers]

I will admit the "money" thing makes me not so inclined to do this for him but MIL is an enabler and DH likes to bury his head in the sand instead of speaking up and making waves.  HA! He has no idea who he married.  LOL

However, I just talked to him and he's on his way over to drop off the alarm clock.   

[Shoo]

This whole thing is full of the *ick* factor.  No way would I do this.  I mean, really.  Your MIL can do it.  Or your DH can do it if he's so inclined.  But you?  Ewwwwww.  No.  Just no. 

[sweedetobee]

If DH doesn't think it is a big problem then he can make the morning wake up call himself.
Tell him so, nicely, and immediately stop making the calls yourself.

[hobish]

"Hi!  This is your 7am wake-up call and reminder that you owe us XXXX dollars that you haven't been repaying regularly.

Have a great day!"

And, yes - I would actually do this.   But, that's me.

behindbj

I have to admit i would, too. Mornings are NOT my time of day unless i am STILL awake, not just getting up.

The very idea that you should do that is really odd. Something about the fact that YOU should be the one to call him in the morning is just ... just weird.

[wetblanket]

I think it's very pathetic that a grown man needs this kind of help.  Don't do it.

Some people asking for these types of little favours because it makes them feel important or in control or something.  It's not healthy.