Author Topic: OK to Wear Black?  (Read 3936 times)

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TamJamB

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2013, 11:58:51 AM »
The old rule against wearing black has pretty much fallen by the wayside nowadays - especially at evening weddings -- because black is so very common for cocktail or evening dress.  I myself don't wear black to weddings because I'm old enough to feel 'funny' about it, although I definately wouldn't consider others rude if they do it.  To tell the truth, I rarely wear black anyway.  I like color.

That said, I have heard that there are parts of the country where black is still considered wrong for weddings (or wrong just for daytime or informal weddings).  If you live in a particularly conservative area, you might want to check around a bit before making the final decision on your outfilt.

TootsNYC

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2013, 02:07:04 PM »
I think as a whole black is an accepted color to wear in this day and age.  You will probably be fine.  I would call the bride or coordinator to double check.  The last time I wore black to a wedding was many years ago, and I asked the bride in advance just to be sure.

Oh, I wouldn't suggest this. I still remember how heated a colleague of mine got with the whole "call up the bride and ask if the clothes are formal enough."

She was really frustrated. She had a ton of things to arrange, and take care of, etc. The wedding, with all its logistics; her move from one home to another.

She said, "Aren't these people grownups? I don't need to bother with someone else's attire!"

So, I don't think anybody should be calling the bride, or even the coordinator (how would you know who that was anyway?) and bothering her with your own wardrobe concerns.

If you can't come to a clear sense of rightness on your own, using resources other than the bride's time and energy (like, us here at EHell!! Or your neighbor, or a friend, or your mom), pick a different dress.

And I think black at a wedding is totally OK. (And my bridesmaids wore black tea-length party dresses with red sashes.)

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2013, 02:16:53 PM »
I say black is fine. I grew up hearing about the "little black dress" how you had to have the perfect LBD (not to be confused with VPL which should be avoided), and if you found the perfect LBD you'd be set for any event that came up in your life. Given that information, I think it's ok to wear your perfect LBD (without VPLs) to a wedding.

I would stay away from all back though. So a black dress, with black shoes, and a black bag and black jacket is just too drab. But some fun shoes, a bright bag, a jacket/cardigan with some colors, will make it much more fun. I'm personally a huge fan of brightly colored shoes and purses (I don't wear a scarves, and jackets/cardigans can be too warm here).

msulinski

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2013, 02:42:11 PM »
Since it is a an event in the daytime and a wedding, I would probably avoid black. For an evening wedding, it would be less of an issue. FWIW, I am male, so my perspective might be different.

Nebulous

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #19 on: December 31, 2013, 08:05:37 PM »
Since it is a an event in the daytime and a wedding, I would probably avoid black. For an evening wedding, it would be less of an issue. FWIW, I am male, so my perspective might be different.

I kind of agree with this.  In general I think wearing a LBD is fine, but sometimes color is more appropriate.  I also think that location and formality play a big part.  For example, I would avoid a black dress at an afternoon outdoor garden wedding.  But an evening wedding in a ballroom would be great for a fancier LBD.  Take your cues for the formality of the event from the location, time, printed invitation and what you know of the wedding party.

I also agree with other posters to accessorize with color and avoid black-on-black.  Depending on the formality, you can accessorize the dress up or down and add more color as needed.  Just as an example, I wore an LBD with gold, cream and plum jewelry and neutral shoes to my brother's wedding as it was an evening reception at a fancy restaurant.  If it were less formal, I would have broken up the black more - like wearing a cardigan/bolero/scarf or picked more colorful accessories.

Overall, use your best judgement and have fun :)

Nikko-chan

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #20 on: December 31, 2013, 08:10:15 PM »
Could you pair the LBD with a belt to go around it? Maybe silver or something, or a color? And perhaps like someone else said a matching overcoat or whatever they are called? And colorful jewelry would help, like some people said.

metallicafan

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #21 on: January 01, 2014, 10:01:36 PM »



A friend of mine went to a wedding and wore a little black dress with cobalt blue satin pumps and matching cobalt satin clutch.

m2kbug

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2014, 04:44:29 AM »
I think as a whole black is an accepted color to wear in this day and age.  You will probably be fine.  I would call the bride or coordinator to double check.  The last time I wore black to a wedding was many years ago, and I asked the bride in advance just to be sure.

Oh, I wouldn't suggest this. I still remember how heated a colleague of mine got with the whole "call up the bride and ask if the clothes are formal enough."

She was really frustrated. She had a ton of things to arrange, and take care of, etc. The wedding, with all its logistics; her move from one home to another.

She said, "Aren't these people grownups? I don't need to bother with someone else's attire!"

So, I don't think anybody should be calling the bride, or even the coordinator (how would you know who that was anyway?) and bothering her with your own wardrobe concerns.

If you can't come to a clear sense of rightness on your own, using resources other than the bride's time and energy (like, us here at EHell!! Or your neighbor, or a friend, or your mom), pick a different dress.

And I think black at a wedding is totally OK. (And my bridesmaids wore black tea-length party dresses with red sashes.)

The bride was a friend and coworker.  We talked together all the time.  It wasn't really that huge a burden to ask if she was okay with me wearing black.  I was worried about the etiquette and color of mourning and whether or not it was okay for her, so I asked.  The internet really didn't exist back then.  No problem to ask other sources so as not to overburden the bride (if you know who to call), but the question, "Is it okay to wear my cute little black dress," really shouldn't be that complicated or overburdening, I would think.  I eloped, so what do I know? :)

RandomAngel

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2014, 09:08:40 AM »
That said, I have heard that there are parts of the country where black is still considered wrong for weddings (or wrong just for daytime or informal weddings).  If you live in a particularly conservative area, you might want to check around a bit before making the final decision on your outfilt.

I was thinking this. In some parts of the country, half of the female guests will be wearing black. In other areas, at a daytime church wedding you may well be the only one.

I think if you're uncertain enough of your community to have to ask, and you have an alternative, I'd suggest going with the alternative. There's nothing wrong with black, but it's harder to make it look festive, so it wouldn't be my first choice for a wedding...and I've spent almost my entire life in those half-the-guests-wear-it regions.

TootsNYC

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2014, 01:19:39 PM »
I think as a whole black is an accepted color to wear in this day and age.  You will probably be fine.  I would call the bride or coordinator to double check.  The last time I wore black to a wedding was many years ago, and I asked the bride in advance just to be sure.

Oh, I wouldn't suggest this. I still remember how heated a colleague of mine got with the whole "call up the bride and ask if the clothes are formal enough."

She was really frustrated. She had a ton of things to arrange, and take care of, etc. The wedding, with all its logistics; her move from one home to another.

She said, "Aren't these people grownups? I don't need to bother with someone else's attire!"

So, I don't think anybody should be calling the bride, or even the coordinator (how would you know who that was anyway?) and bothering her with your own wardrobe concerns.

If you can't come to a clear sense of rightness on your own, using resources other than the bride's time and energy (like, us here at EHell!! Or your neighbor, or a friend, or your mom), pick a different dress.

And I think black at a wedding is totally OK. (And my bridesmaids wore black tea-length party dresses with red sashes.)

The bride was a friend and coworker.  We talked together all the time.  It wasn't really that huge a burden to ask if she was okay with me wearing black.  I was worried about the etiquette and color of mourning and whether or not it was okay for her, so I asked.  The internet really didn't exist back then.  No problem to ask other sources so as not to overburden the bride (if you know who to call), but the question, "Is it okay to wear my cute little black dress," really shouldn't be that complicated or overburdening, I would think.  I eloped, so what do I know? :)

If you are already in a conversation with the bride, of course you aren't going to be a burden if you bring it up--but as someone else pointed out, you may be putting her on the spot, and is she really going to say to you, "No, please don't wear that, I don't care how cute it is, I'm uncomfortable with black at my wedding"? I would bet not.
   You don't know what she really thinks. You know what she is willing to TELL you she thinks.

So my advice still stands--figure it out on your own, asking your own personal sources of information. And if you are still iffy, wear something else. But don't ask the bride.

ladyknight1

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #25 on: January 02, 2014, 04:19:40 PM »
I have two little black dresses and cardigans in coral, fuchsia, white and black that I wear with them. They are extremely versatile.

I would have no problem wearing one of them to a daytime wedding.

Roses

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Re: OK to Wear Black?
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2014, 05:23:03 PM »
Thanks everyone for the great suggestions.  I ended up wearing a neutral color skirt and a plum colored sweater.  My outfit matched the formality of the wedding and other guests. I decided to avoid black, just to be safe.  If the wedding was an evening wedding, I would have probably gone ahead with the black and bright accessories.