Get a DNR booklet (Do Not Resuscitate) and go through it with both parents. The one we got from Kaiser Permanente had various forms in it for a) Medical Power Of Attorney, b) various levels of authority given by parent to person/child(me). The medical POA means I can talk to the doctors and THEY can talk TO ME, which is a big hairy deal that has gotten bigger as Mom progresses downhill. Medical care is an ongoing collaboration between the head nurse at her facility, the shift nurses, Mom's doctors, and me. Due to experience with my MIL where the DNR was ignored because it wasn't posted, and the Nurse (specific title with specific department for helping out patients with dementia, etc Social Worker?) Mom's DNR is filled out and posted on her fridge. So if anything DOES happen, any EMT's who come up to the unit will see the thing in all its neon pink glory, front and central. We filled it out after Mom's dementia had started to really register, and it took about 3 visits to get through the entire thing, due to the several technical questions involved. I'm glad I did it then, because now she couldn't give 'real' answers of her own, and NOW it's DONE and out there.
I took over Mom's (no Dad in this picture) bills and bank account about 5 years ago, after she broke her 2nd hip. My takeover happened in stages - I got the checkbook because her handwriting and mental state had deteriorated to the point that she just could not keep track of stuff. I got the debit card about 18 months later, after she paid for an overseas cruise and archeological trip that was well beyond her abilities, and then bounced her rent check to the residential care facility. She has NO money control now, and can't find her wallet (I'd have to strip her apartment to find it) and I take her anywhere she needs to spend money, and I pay all her bills online. Luckily, I've got her medical number memorized, and I have an old driver's license that has her picture, and that gets us what we need at doctor visits.
The learned helplessness thing - Mom has that in spades, with a side of "you'd do this for me if you really loved me". It was highly irritating in the 10-15 years before we knew about the dementia, but now she's honestly deteriorated to the point where she can't do things anymore. She can barely get herself dressed some days. I took her Christmas shopping, and she forgot what she'd bought and didn't wrap any of it, so I had to do it last minute after DD drove her to our house. Last year she was able to see the things she bought, and remember and wrap them, although she lost the gift cards she bought. This year she's worse.
I put Mom in a small residential care facility the first year after her second hip broke. She got a lot of attention there, and got spoiled, but she was bored because there wasn't much going on, and not enough people who were still 'compos mentis' for her to talk to. When I moved her, I had to find a place where a) she could take her cat, and b) had about 100 people in it, and c) she could still have a private room that she could be in or choose to go into the main downstairs dining hall or event room to hang out. She's much happier in the larger facility, even though it costs a LOT more than the smaller home. The larger facilities both also have an independent living set of people, who are there to gain 3 meals a day, housework help (to whatever level they need it) and no outdoor maintenance chores any longer, but who take themselves to the store, the doctor, the theater, etc. Mom can't do that anymore, but she likes to interact with the people who can do that.
My next step is to talk to her facility and find out what our options are when her money runs out. I'm hoping her body quits on her before that, truthfully. I live 1.5 hours away, I can't move her closer without changing her doctors (which I really don't want to do), and I work full time, and have a husband who is physically ailing. I don't have TIME to go see Mom multiple times a week, and I've heard too many horror stories about the facilities for people who only have Social Security to pay for things.