Author Topic: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?  (Read 5916 times)

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oogyda

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2013, 07:43:29 AM »
The quality of my life has improved tremendously since I've been open about the fact that burning scented candles in my home tends to make my sinuses act up. 

I know it made gift-giving a little more difficult for ODD the year she worked at Yankee Candle.   ;D
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2013, 08:23:43 AM »
My best friend has mentioned that Yankee candles often aggravate her allergies but other companies candles do not.  That it must be something Yankee puts in theirs that just really kick it all up.   

Heck once I had the Yankee Sun & Sand car freshener hanging in my car and it didn't take long before it started bothering me and I had to take it down and pitch it, and that's not even really a candle, just a piece of scented cardboard!

So if she is pushing a certain brand I think it's worth it to say that it triggered your allergies, but that you might try another brand and see if it makes a difference.  And if it doesn't, you can be honest and say it just isn't going to work for you.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2013, 10:46:21 AM »
I would be honest with her, in person, the next time you see her.  Because if you aren't, she'll keep giving you wax refills for the dang thing.  And trying to find a product you can use could be a huge waste of money, if you have to buy many different products to find one that works.  Which is fine if you are interested in using the thing but if you are only using it because your friend gave it to you?  It probably isn't worth it.

I have become very scent sensitive as I enter menopause and can't deal with any kind of scents without feeling nauseous.  Anyone who would be giving me gifts knows this and I don't get stuff I can't use.  I mean, I don't even use chemical cleaners at all any more.  I use a system that cleans with only cold water and a special fibre, because even the smell of vinegar bothers me a little.
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NyaChan

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2013, 11:11:13 AM »
I'd probably say,  "To be honest friend, it works a little too well for my sinuses.  :D  I think I'd need a bigger space to put it in before I could use it so that the strength of the scent will even out."

Drunken Housewife

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2013, 01:38:16 PM »
I normally wouldn't say anything negative about a gift, but this friend is going to be coming over to the OP's house and seeing that the gift isn't in use, and the OP doesn't want to sign on to a lifetime of getting scented waxes and having to fib about using and liking them.

I'd say as nicely as possible, something like "We tried it out, and I'm really sorry but it gave me an allergic reaction.  I was hoping it would be okay for my allergies, because I know you love yours, but it didn't work out for me."

Whenever I'm given a scented candle, I throw it out (but thank the donor) as we have pet birds who should not be exposed to those chemicals. 
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Please pass the Calgon

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2013, 11:22:22 PM »
DH came home with bunch of Walmart stuff though, and it's rank...  I threw it all away, stuck the scent gizmo in the freezer to help get it all cleaned out, and started fresh with a nice one from Yankee Candle.  Scent is awfully subjective and personal, I can't imagine getting it for another person without specific directions for 'this one' or 'that one'.

LOL, DH & the kids bought me some packs from Target for my birthday (I typically use Scentsy and only a tiny piece at a time). Youngest DS, 10, was so excited that he had to set it up for me. 5 minutes later my house smelled like someone set fire to a packet of Cherry Koolaid powder :(

Minmom3

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2013, 01:30:47 AM »
DH came home with bunch of Walmart stuff though, and it's rank...  I threw it all away, stuck the scent gizmo in the freezer to help get it all cleaned out, and started fresh with a nice one from Yankee Candle.  Scent is awfully subjective and personal, I can't imagine getting it for another person without specific directions for 'this one' or 'that one'.

LOL, DH & the kids bought me some packs from Target for my birthday (I typically use Scentsy and only a tiny piece at a time). Youngest DS, 10, was so excited that he had to set it up for me. 5 minutes later my house smelled like someone set fire to a packet of Cherry Koolaid powder :(

Oooo, how vile!  I'm VERY picky about scents, and generally people know to not get me things without specific directions.  Correct that - my DD's know that.  DH is oblivious.  I love the scent of the actual outdoors...  Faux scents meant to mimic or represent them - rarely if ever do they ring true for me, and I think they're nasty.  "Fresh Linen" (bleah)  Beach (bleah)  Balsam/pine/whathaveyou (bleah)...  Berries and fruits (also bleah).  There are very few I really like.  DH has no idea I dumped the stuff he brought home, but even he didn't like them when he smelled them!
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Danika

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2013, 05:09:35 AM »
Yet another suggestion, if you do keep the device. I have a ton of allergies and sinus issues too. I have gone to GNC or other nutritional places and purchased pure eucalyptus oil and pure peppermint oil and a few things like that. I mix those two together and warm them up for a short while and that really opens my sinuses up when I have a cold.

Yankee Candle scents give me terrible headaches unfortunately, but I have found a handful from Bath and Bodyworks that don't bother me. By them, my favorite is Lavender Vanilla and I'll put drops of that in a glass tealight holder on top of my candle warmer. Another is I mix their Balsam scent with eucalyptus and it smells like Northern California when I used to live there.

Bijou

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2013, 02:03:15 PM »
Can you tell her you had an allergic reaction to it and offer it back to her?  If she likes it so much she probably has use for it.  I would stress your sensitivity to scents and that you have to be very careful.  If she offers you another scent you can decline, citing your sensitivity.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 10:14:43 PM by Bijou »
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jpcher

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2013, 02:51:22 PM »
I think I'd tell friend right away. Thank her for the thought she put into the gift, but the scents she'd sent along were setting off your allergies.

You can always buy unscented wax to melt in there and add a drop or two of whatever scent you want on your own, once it's melted. That way it's a very mild scent but you can re-use it as often as possible and your allergies won't necessarily be going batty. I wouldn't necessarily give the burner to Goodwill, because as other people have said there are plenty of other things you can do with it, or you could give it back to friend who gave it to you. But don't draw out the lie, there's really no point in it.

Personally I'd never be offended if someone told me that a gift I gave them actually caused a reaction. I'd be horrified and do whatever I could to rectify the situation (find another gift, if possible) and offer to take back the offending gift. I'd really hate it if I found out later that the person had an allergic reaction and tried to cover it up to spare my feelings, I'd be hurt that they couldn't be honest with me in the first place.

I agree with the above. Honesty up front, right after you used the item, is the best way to go. I don't see any point in waiting. Waiting for 6 months before you mention anything provokes the comment "Well why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I also think that you should be completely honest by telling your friend that scent-gadgets really aren't your thing (from the OP it sounds like this is a fact.) I think this approach would be much better than saying "Your gift made me sick."


"Hey, Friend. You know that scent-gadget you gave me? I tried it and realized that it doesn't work for me. I found out that I'm not a scent-gadgety person. I know you put a lot of thought into the gift and thank you for your kindness, but I honestly won't use it again. Would you mind if I donated it to Good Will? I really don't want to toss it because it is such a nice gadget."


Or something like that.

mbbored

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2013, 04:34:12 PM »
I recommend that you don't bring it up yourself. If she asks you again how you like it, you can say something to the effect of "I loved the idea, but it turned out I was allergic to the discs, so I passed it on!" Or, if she gifts you more discs, politely thank her but then say "Unfortunately, I turned out to be allergic to these. Why don't you keep them so you can join them?"

GlassHalfFull

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2013, 06:40:14 PM »
I think I'd tell friend right away. Thank her for the thought she put into the gift, but the scents she'd sent along were setting off your allergies.

You can always buy unscented wax to melt in there and add a drop or two of whatever scent you want on your own, once it's melted. That way it's a very mild scent but you can re-use it as often as possible and your allergies won't necessarily be going batty. I wouldn't necessarily give the burner to Goodwill, because as other people have said there are plenty of other things you can do with it, or you could give it back to friend who gave it to you. But don't draw out the lie, there's really no point in it.

Personally I'd never be offended if someone told me that a gift I gave them actually caused a reaction. I'd be horrified and do whatever I could to rectify the situation (find another gift, if possible) and offer to take back the offending gift. I'd really hate it if I found out later that the person had an allergic reaction and tried to cover it up to spare my feelings, I'd be hurt that they couldn't be honest with me in the first place.

I agree with the above. Honesty up front, right after you used the item, is the best way to go. I don't see any point in waiting. Waiting for 6 months before you mention anything provokes the comment "Well why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I also think that you should be completely honest by telling your friend that scent-gadgets really aren't your thing (from the OP it sounds like this is a fact.) I think this approach would be much better than saying "Your gift made me sick."


"Hey, Friend. You know that scent-gadget you gave me? I tried it and realized that it doesn't work for me. I found out that I'm not a scent-gadgety person. I know you put a lot of thought into the gift and thank you for your kindness, but I honestly won't use it again. Would you mind if I donated it to Good Will? I really don't want to toss it because it is such a nice gadget."


Or something like that.

I agree, but would offer the option of, "I know you like this, and would love if you wanted to enjoy it" first, and then, if not, mention the give away option.  I have a couple of friends who are allergic to many scents, which I was glad to know as I love candles and would've been gifting them with those forever had I not found out.  It was a happy experience for all of us to have this information out in the open.  Think of it as anything else...what if you were allergic to shellfish, and had a friend who sent a bunch of fresh lobster as a gift?  Or were vegetarian and got three months of meat?  People who care about you want to know.  You'd want to know.  :)

As an aside, bad fragrance, whew!  That bothers me, too.  I love candles, but not "fake" candles.  Scents are tricky.

kckgirl

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2013, 07:46:16 PM »
If you like the overall look of the candle warmer without the scented wax, can you try essential oils or cinnamon/herbs in water? If you just don't like it, you could offer it back to your friend with the explanation, as others have suggested, that you had a severe reaction to the scents and cannot use it. If she doesn't want it back, just donate it, or offer it to another friend who would like and use it.
Maryland

laughtermed

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #28 on: December 29, 2013, 09:15:01 PM »
If a gift makes you ill, it's best to be honest and say so. That way your friend will not get it for you again. I would not be upset if a friend had that type of reaction to a gift I offered. I'd be sympathetic and take it back. It's really best not to get anyone a scented product unless you know they really use it.

I have a friend now selling these scented wax burners and had to politely decline buying since we have multiple cats who might get hurt if they got too close to the wax burner to investigate it.

Mary Lennox

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Re: The tale of the waxy thingamajig - how far do you take the gift lie?
« Reply #29 on: December 29, 2013, 09:36:56 PM »
It's kind of rubbing me the wrong way that everyone is advocating just giving the gift away after trying one scent of one brand. Surely there are dozens (hundreds?) of different waxes that could be used, or as suggested not using the wax at all. Unless the OP is deadset against keeping it, I'd at least try a couple of different ones before I gave up on it.