Author Topic: Thank You for a Thank You?  (Read 844 times)

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GrammarNerd

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Thank You for a Thank You?
« on: December 26, 2013, 11:02:20 PM »
As I've stated before a few times, I coach on a kids' sports team.  I received a sweet gift tonight from one of my families of some higher-end chocolates.  It had a card taped to it, and when I opened it, I was very surprised to find a monetary gift (cash) accompanied by a very nice note.  If it matters, the card was a 'thank you' card, not a holiday card.  The message in the card was a thank you type of message.  It was handed to me originally by one of the other coaches, who had received the bunch of gifts from the mom to hand out to the other coaches.  I think he was the closest one and she asked him to hand them out.

So....my question: do I send a separate thank you for the gift, even though it was already a 'thank you' type of gift?  I did, of course, thank the child, but honestly, he probably had no (or very little) idea that his parents gave us something.  I'm just never sure about situations like this b/c it seems like I should say thank you, but then again, you don't want the 'thank yous' endlessly going back and forth.

(FWIW, I am friends with the mom on FB and I think I have their email address.  So that would be an avenue for communication if the general consensus is that further communication is warranted.)

TootsNYC

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2013, 11:21:37 PM »
Yes, you send a thank-you note--for the gift. Because it's a gift, no matter what the occasion is.

If the note was the only thing you had received, you wouldn't be obligated to write a thank-you note (but I would think you should mention it at some point when next you see them).

Write a thank-you note if only because it's the safe route. And because people who are thanked for generous gestures are then more likely to be generous again later--with someone else if not with you.

Deetee

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2013, 11:33:19 PM »
I'll disagree (but not too strongly). I think a thank you gift is exempt from the requirement for a thank you note. Because it is a thank you.

But because it sounds like the family didn't give it to you directly, I think it's best to give a quick communication. (Note, phone call, email etc..) to let them know it arrived safely and a quick thanks.

ChinaShepherdess

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2013, 02:02:38 AM »
Conventional wisdom says thank-you notes are not required for thank-you gifts or notes. I typically follow up on thank-yous with appreciative acknowledgment through a less formal medium, like email or in person, if I'll see the giver soon. That said, I almost always respond to any kind of gift with a written thank-you note because they're fun to send (I get to show off my cute stationery!) and delightful to receive. Especially if you feel the gift was particularly thoughtful and generous, regardless of the suggested guidelines of etiquette, why not send a note expressing your sincere gratitude for the lovely gesture? It's win/win!

gellchom

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2013, 02:34:40 PM »
Conventional wisdom says thank-you notes are not required for thank-you gifts or notes. I typically follow up on thank-yous with appreciative acknowledgment through a less formal medium, like email or in person, if I'll see the giver soon. That said, I almost always respond to any kind of gift with a written thank-you note because they're fun to send (I get to show off my cute stationery!) and delightful to receive. Especially if you feel the gift was particularly thoughtful and generous, regardless of the suggested guidelines of etiquette, why not send a note expressing your sincere gratitude for the lovely gesture? It's win/win!

This.

TootsNYC

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2013, 04:04:10 PM »
I think a thank-you note doesn't require a response.

But a thank-you gift does, in my opinion. I don't have access anymore to the etiquette books I used to use, so I can't look it up.

But it's a gift--and no matter what adjective is in front of it, I think it deserves a thank-you. In this case, a note, since that's probably the easiest way to reach someone.

peaches

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Re: Thank You for a Thank You?
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2013, 05:47:40 PM »
A gift requires a thank you.

If you think about it, many of the gifts we give are in the nature of thanking someone -  for being so helpful, such a good friend, a much appreciated teacher, etc. That doesn't mean they don't require a thank you note.  I think they do.

In any case, there is no downside to thanking someone with a note.