[quote author=GlitterIsMyDrug link=topic=131742.msg3079909#msg3079909 date=1388686732I just said "And who are you?" at which point my friend speaks up "This is John, remember I told you were kind of seeing each other. He wasn't ok with me going to a party without him on New Year's Eve so I brought him a long" at this point John is already inside the house and asking if we have better foodThis is off topic, but RED FLAG ALERT. John sounds very controlling, and the bolded part is icing on the cake. Please keep an eye on this friend and make sure he's treating her well!
Whoa, easy there. John is obviously a boor for the way he behaved at the party, but I don't think wanting to spend New Year's Eve with his (albeit new) squeeze necessarily means he's one of those uber-controlling "Thou shalt not socialize without me, ever" types. Friend's "he wasn't OK with ..." might have simply meant "he really was looking forward to us spending NYE together."
While New Year's Eve isn't as much a couples-oriented holiday as, say, Valentine's Day, I think there is an expectation that couples (even new ones) are going to spend it together.
The red flag in this situation isn't that John wanted to spend NYE with the woman he's been seeing, but that he was rude to her friends, the hosts. That would be a deal breaker for me.
Given the way this person breezed in and assumed it was okay, it seems possible that she had accepted John's invitation/offer/suggestion that the two of them do something together on New Year's Eve, and then remembered that she had accepted the invitation to Glitter's party. At which point her options are to stand Glitter up; stand John up; call Glitter, apologize profusely, and say that she'd gotten confused and accepted a date with her new boyfriend, and could she bring him; or do what she actually did. The third choice--admitting her mistake--was probably the best of a bad set of options, but "he got upset when I said I'd go out with him tonight and then told him I couldn't" makes John seem a lot nicer than "he didn't want me to go to a NYE party without him." John's behavior with regard to the beer etc. still looks rude, but "You said we had a date. What happened?" wouldn't be a relationship
Yes, I am speculating beyond the data. But the friend who brought John seems like an unreliable narrator.