Author Topic: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30* *Post-Party Update #71*  (Read 25250 times)

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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited.
« Reply #30 on: December 27, 2013, 06:11:41 PM »
Alright I bit the bullet and called her. This is how our conversation went:

Me: Hey Amanda, it's Glitter, I just wanted to finalize my head count for New Year's Eve (this is true I called a few people today who weren't completely sure they could make, she was just last on my list), are you going to be able to make it?
Her: Yep, I'll be there.
Me: (before she can say anything else) Oh, great, I'm so glad you found a sitter! Do you need directions or are you riding with your mom? (she's been here a million times but she is directional challenged)
Her: *long painful sigh* I don't see why this a big a deal
Me: It's not I can give you directions no problem. (play dumb, we've already established you have a sitter if you're coming)
Her: No, with the kids. I mean, they've been over before, it's not like they'll break anything, I just don't see the big deal about them coming.
Me: It's an 18 and over party Amanda. Are the kids 18?
Her: It's just they miss you guys!
Me: It's an 18 and over party. They'll see us the next day. (at her mother's lunch deal...yeah..the next day!)
Her: *long suffering sigh* I want to come.
Me: You can come.
Her: I don't understand why they can't come.
Me: They aren't 18.
Her: Yeah, but, like, what does it matter?
Me: It matters to me. I've established a rule. I'm expecting you, as my friend, to respect that rule. If you can't, then don't come.
Her: Lemme call Aunt J, she's doing something for the cousin's kids and she invited mine. I'll call you right back.

Ok, wait, her Aunt J is AWESOME with kids and throws these crazy great kid parties. Amanda's cousin has kids pretty close to her kids ages and her kids would probably rather be there then at our adult party anyways. So Amanda wants to bring her kids because....why? Just because I told her she can't? This woman is in her 30s!! She called me right back.

Her: Ok, Aunt J is going to come pick up the kids in the afternoon. She says they're going to celebrate east coast New Years so the kids won't have to stay up as late (her kids are early birds, not night owls, she's a night owl). So I'll defiantly be coming. I'll probably ride in with my mom, but can you text me directions just in case?
Me: Sure Amanda, that's not a problem. Sounds like the kids will have more fun there.
Her: Yeah, I guess. *little sigh* Well I'll see you Tuesday night. Oh, hey how dressy is this? Because I have this little...

And we dissolved into an outfit discussion and she told me about the rum cake she's making to bring over and asked if she could drop it off earlier in the day.

Over all, my spine feels strong. If by some chance she still shows up with the kids, she'll be shown the door. She still seemed upset she didn't get her way but well, as I'm prone to saying, that's an Amanda problem, not a Glitter problem.

I decided to forgo mentioning I'd heard from my mom that she was telling her mom...blah blah blah, because we've had those conversations before and they always turn into "Oh no, of course I didn't say that! Our moms are such gossips!", they aren't, at all. And I actually wanted to hammer it into her very thick skull that this would not be ok under any circumstances what so ever.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited.
« Reply #31 on: December 27, 2013, 06:13:54 PM »
What if she shows up with the kids and you aren't at the door to turn her away - another guest opens the door, your partner answers the bell - and by the time you see them she and the kids have coats off, perhaps are drinking or eating an appetizer?  Much more awkward than dealing with it ahead of time.

This was actually a true concern as most likely she'll just walk in. It's pretty standard for people who are close to us who are invited to one of our parties to just walk on in rather then ring the bell or knock on the door. The dogs bark at the bell and we rarely hear someone knocking. Just come on in already!

bah12

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #32 on: December 27, 2013, 06:15:02 PM »
You handled this perfectly.

Awestruck Shmuck

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #33 on: December 27, 2013, 06:17:13 PM »
Well done!! You handled the situation (and the conversation) beautifully! :D

Peppergirl

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #34 on: December 27, 2013, 06:17:45 PM »
Oh my. She sounds a boor. I'm not a fan of the martyr routine, and the heavy put-upon sighs are a huge pet peeve of mine. You handled it exceedingly well. I'm pretty sure I would have been terribly rude and hung up or disinvited her.

aussie_chick

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited.
« Reply #35 on: December 27, 2013, 06:18:18 PM »
Great news Op! You ignored her sighs and carried on!
I hope you have a fantastic party to remember!

TootsNYC

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #36 on: December 27, 2013, 06:19:02 PM »
Beautiful job!

Especially since this:

Quote
Her: Lemme call Aunt J, she's doing something for the cousin's kids and she invited mine. I'll call you right back.

Ok, wait, her Aunt J is AWESOME with kids and throws these crazy great kid parties. Amanda's cousin has kids pretty close to her kids ages and her kids would probably rather be there then at our adult party anyways. So Amanda wants to bring her kids because....why? Just because I told her she can't? This woman is in her 30s!! She called me right back.

So already her kids had a safe (and fun!!) place they could be? And she still is giving you grief about wanting to bring them?

Yeah, insert eyeroll here.


Good on you!


And if she shows up, you don't have to "show her the door"; just shoo her off to deliver the kids to Aunt J's awesome party!

Deetee

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #37 on: December 27, 2013, 06:19:37 PM »
Perfect, perfect spine!

Oh Joy

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #38 on: December 27, 2013, 06:21:53 PM »
Great job, Glitter!

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #39 on: December 27, 2013, 06:22:14 PM »
Oh my. She sounds a boor. I'm not a fan of the martyr routine, and the heavy put-upon sighs are a huge pet peeve of mine. You handled it exceedingly well. I'm pretty sure I would have been terribly rude and hung up or disinvited her.

She's kind of like family to me now, so I'm used to her. Generally she's a nice person, but when you tell her no she turns into bratty child. If you tell her she can't do something she doesn't want to do in the first place. Normally she'd find a sitter even for a kids are welcomed NYE party, so that she could really party down, but I told her no kids and all of a sudden we must include the children.

blackthumb

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #40 on: December 27, 2013, 06:24:22 PM »
I aspire to handle situations as well as you've handled this one. WELL DONE!

miranova

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #41 on: December 27, 2013, 06:27:42 PM »
Great job!!!

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #42 on: December 27, 2013, 06:32:30 PM »
Her mom is at work right now (so isn't aware of the conversation) but I just got this text:

Amanda is not bringing the kids to NYE. They are going to my sister's house (Aunt J). If Amanda puts them in my car I will drive them to my sister's house and then we will come to your place. I've already let my sister know to expect the kids. Lots of love and don't stress. Fake Aunt P. (she and my mom are great friends so I started calling her my Fake Aunt years ago)

Well then, I guess that's settled. I texted back "Thanks Fake Aunt, I called Amanda earlier to talk with her about it. Sounds like Aunt J's party will be more fun for them anyways".

buvezdevin

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #43 on: December 27, 2013, 06:47:05 PM »
Glitter, in your first update post after speaking with Amanda, you mention she said she will "defiantly" be attending - Freudian slip or not, thank you for the chuckle, and well done on the Amanda convo!
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
Mark Twain

AnnaJ

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Re: Yes, even your kid isn't invited. *Update Post #30*
« Reply #44 on: December 27, 2013, 06:53:19 PM »
Brilliantly done, Glitter - I'm taking notes.  :)