Alright I bit the bullet and called her. This is how our conversation went:
Me: Hey Amanda, it's Glitter, I just wanted to finalize my head count for New Year's Eve (this is true I called a few people today who weren't completely sure they could make, she was just last on my list), are you going to be able to make it?
Her: Yep, I'll be there.
Me: (before she can say anything else) Oh, great, I'm so glad you found a sitter! Do you need directions or are you riding with your mom? (she's been here a million times but she is directional challenged)
Her: *long painful sigh* I don't see why this a big a deal
Me: It's not I can give you directions no problem. (play dumb, we've already established you have a sitter if you're coming)
Her: No, with the kids. I mean, they've been over before, it's not like they'll break anything, I just don't see the big deal about them coming.
Me: It's an 18 and over party Amanda. Are the kids 18?
Her: It's just they miss you guys!
Me: It's an 18 and over party. They'll see us the next day. (at her mother's lunch deal...yeah..the next day!)
Her: *long suffering sigh* I want to come.
Me: You can come.
Her: I don't understand why they can't come.
Me: They aren't 18.
Her: Yeah, but, like, what does it matter?
Me: It matters to me. I've established a rule. I'm expecting you, as my friend, to respect that rule. If you can't, then don't come.
Her: Lemme call Aunt J, she's doing something for the cousin's kids and she invited mine. I'll call you right back.
Ok, wait, her Aunt J is AWESOME with kids and throws these crazy great kid parties. Amanda's cousin has kids pretty close to her kids ages and her kids would probably rather be there then at our adult party anyways. So Amanda wants to bring her kids because....why? Just because I told her she can't? This woman is in her 30s!! She called me right back.
Her: Ok, Aunt J is going to come pick up the kids in the afternoon. She says they're going to celebrate east coast New Years so the kids won't have to stay up as late (her kids are early birds, not night owls, she's a night owl). So I'll defiantly be coming. I'll probably ride in with my mom, but can you text me directions just in case?
Me: Sure Amanda, that's not a problem. Sounds like the kids will have more fun there.
Her: Yeah, I guess. *little sigh* Well I'll see you Tuesday night. Oh, hey how dressy is this? Because I have this little...
And we dissolved into an outfit discussion and she told me about the rum cake she's making to bring over and asked if she could drop it off earlier in the day.
Over all, my spine feels strong. If by some chance she still shows up with the kids, she'll be shown the door. She still seemed upset she didn't get her way but well, as I'm prone to saying, that's an Amanda problem, not a Glitter problem.
I decided to forgo mentioning I'd heard from my mom that she was telling her mom...blah blah blah, because we've had those conversations before and they always turn into "Oh no, of course I didn't say that! Our moms are such gossips!", they aren't, at all. And I actually wanted to hammer it into her very thick skull that this would not be ok under any circumstances what so ever.