General Etiquette > Family and Children

Do children and sons/daughter in law get equal gifts?

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LadyL:
My question is pretty straightforward: what is the gift giving norm in your family? I have a stepfamily, my mom's family, and my in-laws, and each of them have different  gifting practices. I really don't know what is "normal" or if there is any etiquette that addresses this.

Hmmmmm:
I voted other. My parents would usually give slightly more to their child but not substantially. Like maybe a joint gift, a sweater for in inlaw, and maybe 2 sweaters for their child.

When DH and I started dating I'd receive a gift from his parents but he received a lot more. Over the years my gifts increased and after we were married his decreased but were probably a little more expensive in total. Other times they'd give us a joint gift.

It never seemed to bother anyone in our families. It seemed natural.

Thipu1:
I voted 'Gifts are equivalent or near-equivalent' although the 'Gift for the household' option is also close to what we do. 

Sometimes, we find something inexpensive and fun that one member of a couple will enjoy.  We have no qualms about sending a little extra gift to that person because the gift is small. 

Our idea of holiday gifts is to be fair and make sure that everyone is pleased.  Favoring a child over the child's spouse is not acceptable.   

LadyL:

--- Quote from: Thipu1 on December 29, 2013, 11:19:05 AM ---
Our idea of holiday gifts is to be fair and make sure that everyone is pleased.  Favoring a child over the child's spouse is not acceptable.   

--- End quote ---

Can you clarify why? I guess the way I see it is that the in-laws could assume that their son/daughter in law also gets a bigger gift from their family, and their child is the one getting the smaller gift in that situation, so they are making things proportional.

CrazyDaffodilLady:
I personally gift each person equally.  Treating each person as an individual is the way my family has handled gifting for generations; inclusiveness is a big family value.

When my parents give cash, each person gets the same amount.  So, single person gets $x, a couple with a child gets $3x.  This means the couple can make a large purchase for their family, but the single person can't.  As a single person, it kind of sucks, but I wouldn't change the practice.

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