Author Topic: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses  (Read 5238 times)

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sparksals

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Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« on: December 30, 2013, 11:48:14 AM »
I do an open house this time of year where I provide a great deal of food, wine, beer and good tidings.  It is a casual affair, drop in style. 


Sally is invited every year with her husband.  She is a very nice person and takes it upon herself to wash my wine glasses as people leave.  Normally, it would be a nice gesture, right?  The problem I have is she uses an abrasive scrubby I use to clean the top of my glass top stove, so it is very dirty.  She doesn't ask, she just grabs it and starts cleaning.  This year, I hid it under other supplies and she still found it while there was a clean rag within site.  I thought hiding it would  the situation. 


I am very anal about using clean cloths to wash dishes. In fact, I usually use a clean, wet paper towel to do it so I don't have to constantly wash rags.   I would never wash dishes with a cloth that has wiped the counter or sink. 


Of course, the glasses are not clean because she has been using a very dirty scrubber and I assume this also scratches my glasses.  I always tell her it isn't necessary to wash the glasses, but she insists.  After she leaves, I put the glasses in the dishwasher. 


Not really a bit deal, but wonder if someone offers this gesture, wouldn't it be proper for them to enquire what cleaning apparatus to use?  Luckily, I don't use my crystal glasses for this event.  If I did and she used the abrasive scrubby on them, they would be ruined.


What can I say to someone who is providing a kind gesture that isn't wanted?  The scrubbing with an abrasive pad scratches them which in turn leaves grooves that prevent them from getting entirely clean, thus reducing the life of the glasses. 




camlan

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2013, 12:01:21 PM »
Why haven't you just stopped her? Or at least taken the scrubby out of her hand and told her that it scratches the glasses?

If you can't stop her this year, take the scrubby completely out of the kitchen. Have appropriate cloths out in the open. When Sally starts in cleaning, just go into the kitchen, try to persuade her to leave and if she won't, hand her the correct cleaning cloth. If she asks for/looks for the scrubby, tell her the truth. That the scrubby scratches the glasses and you'd prefer her to use the cloth you've given her.
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kckgirl

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 12:03:07 PM »
"Sally, thank you for trying to help, but I will wash the glasses. Please join us in the living room."
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jaxsue

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2013, 12:03:42 PM »
I do an open house this time of year where I provide a great deal of food, wine, beer and good tidings.  It is a casual affair, drop in style. 


Sally is invited every year with her husband.  She is a very nice person and takes it upon herself to wash my wine glasses as people leave.  Normally, it would be a nice gesture, right?  The problem I have is she uses an abrasive scrubby I use to clean the top of my glass top stove, so it is very dirty.  She doesn't ask, she just grabs it and starts cleaning.  This year, I hid it under other supplies and she still found it while there was a clean rag within site.  I thought hiding it would  the situation. 


I am very anal about using clean cloths to wash dishes. In fact, I usually use a clean, wet paper towel to do it so I don't have to constantly wash rags.   I would never wash dishes with a cloth that has wiped the counter or sink. 


Of course, the glasses are not clean because she has been using a very dirty scrubber and I assume this also scratches my glasses.  I always tell her it isn't necessary to wash the glasses, but she insists.  After she leaves, I put the glasses in the dishwasher. 


Not really a bit deal, but wonder if someone offers this gesture, wouldn't it be proper for them to enquire what cleaning apparatus to use?  Luckily, I don't use my crystal glasses for this event.  If I did and she used the abrasive scrubby on them, they would be ruined.


What can I say to someone who is providing a kind gesture that isn't wanted?  The scrubbing with an abrasive pad scratches them which in turn leaves grooves that prevent them from getting entirely clean, thus reducing the life of the glasses.

I cringed while reading your post. Washing wine glasses with something abrasive? Honestly, I'd not only hide anything like that, I'd put it under lock and key! Then, if she insisted on injuring the glasses, I'd be polite but forceful, removing the wine glasses from her hands and explaining that they require careful handling and she's a guest and not required to help clean up.

gramma dishes

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2013, 12:09:26 PM »
If she didn't do it would you have just put the glasses in the dishwasher or would you have washed them by hand yourself?

If you normally do these glasses in the dishwasher, I'd just put them in there as soon as they became abandoned.  Even if you normally hand wash them I'd at least imply that I do them in the dishwasher. 

If she still insisted on washing them (maybe she thinks they are crystal) then just tell her "No scrubbies!  It scratches the glass.  Here's a nice soft rag (or paper towel).  Use this." 


ITSJUSTME

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2013, 12:14:19 PM »
SIL told me that MIL once washed her crystal with Ajax cleanser.  I was not surprised as she also scoured the front of my brand new black enameled range with a scouring pad.  AFTER I had told her NOT to clean my kitchen.

Now when she mentions doing dishes or cleaning up I just say NO.

sparksals

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2013, 01:04:36 PM »
Why haven't you just stopped her? Or at least taken the scrubby out of her hand and told her that it scratches the glasses?

If you can't stop her this year, take the scrubby completely out of the kitchen. Have appropriate cloths out in the open. When Sally starts in cleaning, just go into the kitchen, try to persuade her to leave and if she won't, hand her the correct cleaning cloth. If she asks for/looks for the scrubby, tell her the truth. That the scrubby scratches the glasses and you'd prefer her to use the cloth you've given her.


I have tried.  She won't take no for an answer.   I thought hiding it would work, but guess not.  Next year, I will have to remove it completely even though I had a soft cloth rag in plain sight.


sparksals

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2013, 01:06:27 PM »
If she didn't do it would you have just put the glasses in the dishwasher or would you have washed them by hand yourself?

If you normally do these glasses in the dishwasher, I'd just put them in there as soon as they became abandoned.  Even if you normally hand wash them I'd at least imply that I do them in the dishwasher. 

If she still insisted on washing them (maybe she thinks they are crystal) then just tell her "No scrubbies!  It scratches the glass.  Here's a nice soft rag (or paper towel).  Use this."


They go in the dishwasher.  I keep them in a box for entertaining, so they don't get used all the time, maybe 5 times per year. 


I actually thought to do that during the evening, but it was as most parties turn, a kitchen party and I couldn't get to the dishwasher to do just that. 


I know she was honestly trying to help, but it really isn't.

sparksals

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2013, 01:06:48 PM »
SIL told me that MIL once washed her crystal with Ajax cleanser.  I was not surprised as she also scoured the front of my brand new black enameled range with a scouring pad.  AFTER I had told her NOT to clean my kitchen.

Now when she mentions doing dishes or cleaning up I just say NO.


Where is a cringing emoticon when we need it?   :o

kckgirl

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2013, 01:14:32 PM »
Have you told her why you don't want her washing the glasses? I, too, would remove the scrubber completely from the kitchen, putting it somewhere that she would never look for it (not the linen closet).
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2013, 01:32:01 PM »
I'd get a glass scrubber and say "Friend if you are going to insist on doing my glasses then I need to insist on you using my glass cleaner as the other is too abrasive."  I know lots of people who won't use rags or paper towels for glasses as it has a tendency to leave spots or lint. Might be why she is looking for a scrubber type item.

I might even wrap a little bow around a new one and stand it up in front of the sink with her name on it. (Of course I'm assuming this is a close friend if she feels comfortable washing your glasses.)

SamiHami

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2013, 01:38:56 PM »
Why haven't you just stopped her? Or at least taken the scrubby out of her hand and told her that it scratches the glasses?

If you can't stop her this year, take the scrubby completely out of the kitchen. Have appropriate cloths out in the open. When Sally starts in cleaning, just go into the kitchen, try to persuade her to leave and if she won't, hand her the correct cleaning cloth. If she asks for/looks for the scrubby, tell her the truth. That the scrubby scratches the glasses and you'd prefer her to use the cloth you've given her.


I have tried.  She won't take no for an answer.   I thought hiding it would work, but guess not.  Next year, I will have to remove it completely even though I had a soft cloth rag in plain sight.

I think you need to polish up your spine a bit. She isn't allowed to not take no for an answer when it comes to your belongings. I think next time this comes up you need to firmly tell her that you appreciate the desire to be helpful but you do not want her to wash them. If/when she argues, you'll have to be firm. You don't have to tell her she's doing it wrong; just tell her that you prefer to do it yourself and that you want her to stop.

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Marisol

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2013, 02:06:53 PM »
I hope you never use your good crystal when she is around!  Or better yet, hide the scrubby in your car or something and if she asks about it or tries to use anything else explain. That the glass can be scratched and needs a delicate touch.

Kari

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2013, 02:36:00 PM »
I've been in this situation. I keep two sponges handy - one for cleaning surfaces and another for dishes. If a well-meaning guest insists on washing up and starts using the wrong sponge, I simply point it out. If you've done this with Sally and she continues on doing things her way, you may need to be more direct with your language and tone: "If you'd like to help, please use this rag for dishes. That one in your hand scratches glassware and is dirty." The direct approach has seemed to work for me.

Now if only I can get my well-meaning but obstinate mother to accept that my cast iron skillets do not get the soap-and-water treatment....

cicero

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Re: Guest Insists On Washing Wine Glasses
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2013, 02:39:42 PM »
Why haven't you just stopped her? Or at least taken the scrubby out of her hand and told her that it scratches the glasses?

If you can't stop her this year, take the scrubby completely out of the kitchen. Have appropriate cloths out in the open. When Sally starts in cleaning, just go into the kitchen, try to persuade her to leave and if she won't, hand her the correct cleaning cloth. If she asks for/looks for the scrubby, tell her the truth. That the scrubby scratches the glasses and you'd prefer her to use the cloth you've given her.


I have tried.  She won't take no for an answer.   I thought hiding it would work, but guess not.  Next year, I will have to remove it completely even though I had a soft cloth rag in plain sight.

I think you need to polish up your spine a bit. She isn't allowed to not take no for an answer when it comes to your belongings. I think next time this comes up you need to firmly tell her that you appreciate the desire to be helpful but you do not want her to wash them. If/when she argues, you'll have to be firm. You don't have to tell her she's doing it wrong; just tell her that you prefer to do it yourself and that you want her to stop.
I agree. and i know how hard it is because she *is* doing a nice thing and you feel about having to *forcibly* push her out of the kitchen but you need to lather rinse repeat: "no, please leave the dishes and let's go back to the kitchen. no, really , leave them. Come, let's go find the coats".

if you can't then how about redirecting - "Sally, please don't wash the glasses. they go in the dishwasher. no, put the scrubbie down, i just stack them as is. thanks!"

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