Author Topic: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt  (Read 9152 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Adelaide

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 953
Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« on: December 30, 2013, 10:07:41 PM »
I'm starting to apply for jobs and I have quite a few friends who post questionable content on facebook. Whether it's posts filled with swear words, nude modelling shots, a girl with severe depression posting her constant "life is awful and everything is terrible" statuses, party pictures, or what have you, I know a lot of this stuff wouldn't be appropriate on my facebook and is not the sort of thing my employers want to see or want me associating with. I'm about to unfriend a massive amount of people and I'm not sure what I should do or say. I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt but I have to do this for my potential job opportunities.

Deleting facebook is not an option right now as it's the only way that I can keep up with some of my overseas relatives. Should I post a status saying something like "Sorry for the blanket un-friending, message  me if you don't have my phone number" (and I'd need help with the exact wording) or should I just do it without comment?

ETA: Unfriending these people in my only option, I just need to know how to do it gracefully, as not to hurt anyone's feelings. Any advice or ways to word a message (should I send one) would be appreciated.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 10:15:57 PM by Adelaide »

ladymaureen

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2013, 10:10:02 PM »
No need to winnow the friends list. Just change each problem person so you can't see their status updates. Problem solved, no? If you never see the updates, you cannot interact with them and have that interaction show up on your news feeds.

Unless there's something I don't understand, this will solve the problem without hurting anyone's feelings.

Oh yes -- change it so you have to approve each post to your wall before it shows up on your wall. Just in case you have people who post questionable content to your wall.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 10:11:48 PM by ladymaureen »

Adelaide

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 953
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 10:11:59 PM »
No need to winnow the friends list. Just change each problem person so you can't see their status updates. Problem solved, no? If you never see the updates, you cannot interact with them and have that interaction show up on your news feeds.

Unless there's something I don't understand, this will solve the problem without hurting anyone's feelings.

The issue isn't that I can't see them, the issue is that I'm friends, and therefore associated with them. Deleting them is the only thing that will take care of this.

Bales

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 133
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2013, 10:12:41 PM »
Do you have to unfriend them?  Can't you just ensure your privacy settings are secure?  If you're not responding to those posts, I don't think they'd be associated with you even if you were found by an employer.  They would only see what you post.  Someone more FB savvy can weigh in, but I think there is a feature where you can see how your profile would be viewed by an "outsider."

In any case, I personally don't like the "clearing my friend list" posts and would rather just be cut loose.  Those that you are truly close, too, though, you can send a private message to let them know you are just tidying up while looking for work and hope they understand.

Ceallach

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4776
    • This Is It
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2013, 10:14:31 PM »
I don't understand how what your friends are posting impacts you - are they tagging you in these posts?   Posting directly to your wall?   As an employer I would care about photos or posts you had personally made that might reflect negatively on you, but as I don't have access to your newsfeed I wouldn't see or know what your friends post.  Even if I went to the effort of going through your friends list and checking out their profiles I would only see the basics, and unless you are applying for really super high security jobs I don't get why anybody would do that!

If you want to delete people, just do it, no explanation necessary.   Because if you delete them then they can't see your explanation post anyway so you'd be apologizing to the people who you didn't delete....  All in all I find this very confusing!
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Adelaide

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 953
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2013, 10:16:45 PM »
If you want to delete people, just do it, no explanation necessary.   Because if you delete them then they can't see your explanation post anyway so you'd be apologizing to the people who you didn't delete....  All in all I find this very confusing!

If I put up a message I'd do it a week or so before I did the deleting to make sure the people who needed to see it, saw it.

Ceallach

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4776
    • This Is It
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2013, 10:17:13 PM »
No need to winnow the friends list. Just change each problem person so you can't see their status updates. Problem solved, no? If you never see the updates, you cannot interact with them and have that interaction show up on your news feeds.

Unless there's something I don't understand, this will solve the problem without hurting anyone's feelings.

The issue isn't that I can't see them, the issue is that I'm friends, and therefore associated with them. Deleting them is the only thing that will take care of this.

If you are friends on Facebook with people whom you don't wish to associate with, then yes delete them, but no point explaining why.   I still don't understand what job searching has to do with this though to be honest.   Lock your security down and nobody who isn't your friend can see who your friends are, so it's irrelevant. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


ladymaureen

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2013, 10:30:39 PM »
You can also set it so your friends list is private. Go to your profile and click "Friends." Then when it show you your friends list, there is a little pencil in the upper right corner. Click the pencil. Choose Edit Privacy. There's an option to make your friends list Only Me.

It's up to you, of course; it's just that there are ways to handle the problem without alienating your friends.

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4746
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2013, 11:08:12 PM »
How would your employers find you?  If you have your privacy settings to only show up when friends search then you can't be found via facebook search.  The only way someone could find you is if they were friends of friends, but even then they wouldn't be able to see anything about you at all, except that you are on facebook. 

However, if you feel that unfriending people is the only way to move forward then you need to own it.  It's not your job to protect people from their bad online behavior.  You either unfriend them and deal with the fallout (whatever it is) or you find a way to keep your friend list intact and hide it from your employers.  You should do what's right for YOU, don't worry about everyone else and their feelings. 

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30648
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2013, 11:44:02 PM »
I think that if an employer *really* wants to find out about your Facebook, they might be able to, despite the Facebook privacy settings. If the employer is *really* determined to snoop like that, they'll investigate every way they can.

But I agree w/ camlan--I think most sensible employers:
   1) don't really have time to invest beyond looking at your own posts;
   2) are only concerned about what *you* put up--they recognize that we all have weirdos on our friends list.
 

And I agree w/ PastryGoddess--if you feel unfriending people is the only way to move forward, own it.


Or, you can fiddle around this way:

Contact them yourself to say, "I want to be sure we have each other's real-life contact info," if you want to continue to be in touch other ways. And then unfriend them.

You can always RE-friend them, if they notice (hey, blame it on Facebook--though that's the opposite of "owning" it) and send a new friend request. Or, you can wait until you're settled in the new job and send a friend request of your own. (You might discover that it's sort of nice to have a newsfeed free of those sort of posts!)

menley

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 598
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2013, 01:18:52 AM »
I agree with the others. My Facebook settings are such that no one can see anything but my profile photo and cover photo, unless they are my friend. It's simple to set up this way and potential employers see nothing that I don't want them to.

If you insist on unfriending them, don't say anything.

Pen^2

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1107
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2013, 02:45:06 AM »
I think it would be simpler to just change your privacy settings so that no-one except people you are friends with can see anything of profile.

Sheila Take a Bow

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 777
  • Formerly arija but I felt like a name change.
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2013, 01:33:36 PM »
You've apparently made up your mind to defriend people.  Given that, I think the best way to do it is just to do it. Don't tell anyone.

It sounds like you want to maintain a pristine online reputation before your job search, and that's a valid choice.  But I think that means that you need to keep it pristine all of the time, because if you're worried that you'll be judged by your Facebook wall during this job search, aren't you worried that you'd be judged by it if you're in line for a promotion or in the event of a high-profile assignment?  And it's not like this is the only job search you'll ever conduct -- do you really want to go through this exercise every time you look for a new job?


mimi_cat

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 883
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2013, 01:43:13 PM »
I think you are way over-thinking what a potential employer might look at, assuming that they even check a candidate's Facebook account at all.   Primarily they'd be looking for inappropriate behavior of yours - complaining about a job, boss or customer, posting negative things about the company you work for, etc. 

I can't imagine them checking out your friends, or caring that you are Facebook friends with someone who uses foul language. 

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8812
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Clearing out FB friends during job hunt
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2013, 02:28:42 PM »
You can make your friends list private. You can also make your entire page friends only. You can make it so only you can post to your wall, and so that no one else can tag you without permission. You could even do all of those. So I don't understand the problem. If they're going to go to enough trouble to circumvent those settings, would you really want to work for them anyway? Unless you're working in some kind of super-high-security field where it actually might be their business. That's a level of snooping that would make me feel very uncomfortable relying on such people for my living.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah