General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Clearing out FB friends during job hunt

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Adelaide:

--- Quote from: Ceallach on December 30, 2013, 10:14:31 PM ---If you want to delete people, just do it, no explanation necessary.   Because if you delete them then they can't see your explanation post anyway so you'd be apologizing to the people who you didn't delete....  All in all I find this very confusing!

--- End quote ---

If I put up a message I'd do it a week or so before I did the deleting to make sure the people who needed to see it, saw it.

Ceallach:

--- Quote from: Adelaide on December 30, 2013, 10:11:59 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladymaureen on December 30, 2013, 10:10:02 PM ---No need to winnow the friends list. Just change each problem person so you can't see their status updates. Problem solved, no? If you never see the updates, you cannot interact with them and have that interaction show up on your news feeds.

Unless there's something I don't understand, this will solve the problem without hurting anyone's feelings.

--- End quote ---

The issue isn't that I can't see them, the issue is that I'm friends, and therefore associated with them. Deleting them is the only thing that will take care of this.

--- End quote ---

If you are friends on Facebook with people whom you don't wish to associate with, then yes delete them, but no point explaining why.   I still don't understand what job searching has to do with this though to be honest.   Lock your security down and nobody who isn't your friend can see who your friends are, so it's irrelevant. 

ladymaureen:
You can also set it so your friends list is private. Go to your profile and click "Friends." Then when it show you your friends list, there is a little pencil in the upper right corner. Click the pencil. Choose Edit Privacy. There's an option to make your friends list Only Me.

It's up to you, of course; it's just that there are ways to handle the problem without alienating your friends.

PastryGoddess:
How would your employers find you?  If you have your privacy settings to only show up when friends search then you can't be found via facebook search.  The only way someone could find you is if they were friends of friends, but even then they wouldn't be able to see anything about you at all, except that you are on facebook. 

However, if you feel that unfriending people is the only way to move forward then you need to own it.  It's not your job to protect people from their bad online behavior.  You either unfriend them and deal with the fallout (whatever it is) or you find a way to keep your friend list intact and hide it from your employers.  You should do what's right for YOU, don't worry about everyone else and their feelings. 

TootsNYC:
I think that if an employer *really* wants to find out about your Facebook, they might be able to, despite the Facebook privacy settings. If the employer is *really* determined to snoop like that, they'll investigate every way they can.

But I agree w/ camlan--I think most sensible employers:
   1) don't really have time to invest beyond looking at your own posts;
   2) are only concerned about what *you* put up--they recognize that we all have weirdos on our friends list.
 

And I agree w/ PastryGoddess--if you feel unfriending people is the only way to move forward, own it.


Or, you can fiddle around this way:

Contact them yourself to say, "I want to be sure we have each other's real-life contact info," if you want to continue to be in touch other ways. And then unfriend them.

You can always RE-friend them, if they notice (hey, blame it on Facebook--though that's the opposite of "owning" it) and send a new friend request. Or, you can wait until you're settled in the new job and send a friend request of your own. (You might discover that it's sort of nice to have a newsfeed free of those sort of posts!)

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