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Author Topic: How to share a wedding website  (Read 633 times)

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shortstuff

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How to share a wedding website
« on: March 24, 2015, 09:46:56 PM »
Hi, so I've been doing pretty well (I think) with planning my wedding so far, but I could use a few opinions on this one. 

I'm a millennial, so many of guests will be the same age, and I've received the bombardment of "you must create a wedding website!" from those very same wedding websites around the web.  I added the names of the bridal party, and some pictures of us to make it cutesy.  The main purpose is to serve as info for the hotel, with a very *special* link to get the wedding discount, and info and rsvp link for the post-wedding brunch.

I'd like to announce this website early on, before the invites go out, so people have a chance to see the whole picture of the wedding weekend events, and to also decide if they're booking a hotel room.  Invites will go out in June, and my wedding is the Friday of Labor Day, so I think giving an extra heads up will be important.  Also, the point of the website is to streamline info and keep half a dozen little cards out of the invitation.  Putting the website on a card in the envelope kinda defeats the purpose.  And I personally don't like the idea of putting the website directly on the invitation. 

For my own friends, who are more likely to book a hotel and rsvp to a brunch online anyway, I have a separate "wedding" friends list on FB, so I wouldn't be announcing this to people who aren't invited.  Is this a good idea?  Is there any good, casual wording that will make people check it out?  Btw, I don't yet have registry on it.  If I do decide to announce the website, do I have to leave the registry info out?  How do you spread a link to my non-FB friends/relatives?

HannahGrace

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2015, 10:11:17 PM »
Sounds like you are a perfect candidate for sending Save the Dates. That's a great place to give people who will be invited a heads-up and provide a link to the wedding website.

Margo

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2015, 07:57:54 AM »
I don't see any reason why you can't do a save the date by e-mail or to facebook, if you want, and just include a link to the website.
If you have guests who are not on facebook then you can e-mail them. If there is anyone who you don't have an e-mail address for, or who is not online (for instance, if you have any elderly relatives who don't use the internet much) then I would send a card or short letter telling them the date, giving them the website address but also saying "the website has details of the hotel etc - if you want to book a room the telephone number is xxxxx xxxxxx and we have a discount code xxxx

LadyL

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2015, 09:01:00 AM »
We used our wedding website *as* our save the date. It literally said "Save the date, we're getting married!" We distributed it via a private FB list and email. It was a great way to distribute information about the hotel, venue, dress code, etc. and was popular with our guests.

menley

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2015, 11:02:56 AM »
With our wedding website, we posted a link on Facebook (restricting visibility to our guest list) and e-mailed it directly to friends and family as a very informal save-the-date. The e-mail simply said to save the date for the wedding of [Menley] and [Menley'sHusband] and that while formal invitations would be sent in March, until then you can find all sorts of information about hotels, restaurants, wedding events and the bride & groom at [website link].

shortstuff

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2015, 02:08:17 PM »
Thanks, menley's wording is great and simple and I think I'll use that. 

We did do save the dates, but I wasn't really thinking about a website when I sent them, so it's too late now. 

I just wanted to make sure real quick that using FB wasn't an etiquette violation.  I'll be sure to email close relatives and ask them to pass along the info.  I just never realized til now that there was so much info.  At the last wedding I went to, which was pretty informal, we got a simple invite with ceremony/reception location and time, but were left to fend for ourselves pretty much for everything else. 

Follow up question: did anyone include the full wedding details in the website, and if so, how much time was there between sending the website info and the actual invitation?  It's not that I'm trying to keep the wedding details secret, I'd like like to announce them formally with the really pretty invitations I designed lol so should I / can I hide that part of the website till after invites go out? 

LtPowers

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2015, 02:08:03 PM »
Follow up question: did anyone include the full wedding details in the website, and if so, how much time was there between sending the website info and the actual invitation?  It's not that I'm trying to keep the wedding details secret, I'd like like to announce them formally with the really pretty invitations I designed lol so should I / can I hide that part of the website till after invites go out?

Exactly what details are you announcing with the invitation?

Generally, the only information on the invitation is: who's getting married, who's hosting, where the wedding and reception are, and when the wedding and reception are. All of this information is needed by your guests to plan their attendance. What else would you be holding back?


Powers  &8^]

TootsNYC

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2015, 06:43:51 PM »
I think that you can stick with the save-the-date level of info until the invitations go out.

In order to plan their attendance that far in advance, guests need only:
     date
     perhaps the general time of day (like, if it's Saturday evening, maybe they won't take Friday off; if it's Saturday morning, maybe they will)
     town  (to plan travel time and expenses, including hotel; they may expect you to marry in Town A, and maybe you're marrying in Town B; that will affect things like vacation time)

I don't think they need to know that the reception will be at XYZ Country Club, nor will they need to know the ceremony will be at LMNO Church.
    Someone might think they need to know that there's a 1-hour drive between them, or that there's a 3-hour gap. But I don't think they need anything beyond a relatively general time from for "when will you be busy/when will you be free."A general time frame (early afternoon; midafternoon; etc.) should be enough.
    If part of the "surprise" is that it's a midnight wedding or a sunrise wedding--well, that affects travel time a lot, so I would suggest not keeping that secret for terribly long.

The invitation goes out usually 6 weeks in advance (some people do 8 weeks; more than that is kind of overkill), and that's time enough to reveal those pieces of information.

You might need to get people the hotel info before that, especially if it's a high-volume time and they need to act fast. But you can simply say, "For folks whose travel will take longer than 3 hours, we recommend you arrive on Friday night and check out on Sunday." Or something else sensible ("The ceremony will be in the early afternoon, and the ceremony is a few miles away, so plan your hotel stay and travel accordingly" so they know they'll need to rent a car or recruit a family member/friend to give them a lift).

The wedding website is an informal communication, and there are really no rules for it (except that you *can* put it on the wedding invitation itself, in the same spot you'd put an address or phone number for RSVP information). Just get the information to people however works.

(They don't need to know who's hosting in advance.)
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 06:46:44 PM by TootsNYC »

LtPowers

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2015, 09:06:54 AM »
(They don't need to know who's hosting in advance.)

I will take that aside as directed toward me. To whom would a prospective guest direct questions about the event if he doesn't know who is issuing the invitation? Surely not to the guests of honor?


Powers  &8^]

Wintergreen

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 03:08:00 AM »

I don't think they need to know that the reception will be at XYZ Country Club, nor will they need to know the ceremony will be at LMNO Church.
    Someone might think they need to know that there's a 1-hour drive between them, or that there's a 3-hour gap. But I don't think they need anything beyond a relatively general time from for "when will you be busy/when will you be free."A general time frame (early afternoon; midafternoon; etc.) should be enough.

I think this slightly depends on situation. Mainly when people are choosing in which hotels they are going to stay, especially if those need to be done early. I was thinking this mainly, because our own situation :D
We are going to have a venue in SmallTown next to BiggerCity, and SmallTown does not have hotels, but has more than one venues, some of them you absolutely cannot reach by public transportation, some of them you can, so stating only that it will be SmallTown does not yet give enough information to make a good decision. Because if you use your own car, or even a taxi, it might be very good solution to take a hotel room from DistrictNearTheMainRoadToVenue and avoid all inner city traffic with car, compared to having a hotel from the BiggerCity center. On the other hand, if you would want to use public transportation to get there in the case it's possible (we have several guests without car), you don't want to have hotel from that District because then it will add 45 minutes to your public transportation.

So, in most cases I would agree with you but just to say to anyone wondering, check your own parameters and see if there is situation where the knowledge would be necessary, or at least kind to tell guests so they can make informed decisions. Or, find other solution to it. We probably will offer a bus transportation from BiggerCity to our venue and then back in the evening so nobody has to wonder how they are going to get there. Obviously, we can't offer constant bus line between the cities, so those who want to leave earlier still need to find out how they do it.

Zizi-K

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #10 on: Yesterday at 08:08:52 AM »
If you don't want to include the wedding website on the invitation itself, I would put it on a separate small card that says something like, "please see www.AlexandAliciaGettingMarried.com for directions, hotel information, and post-wedding brunch."

I don't quite see the point of the website if you'll only send it to your facebook friends. All of the guests could use the information listed on it, and you may not be FB friends with your fiance's cousins, or have their email addresses. That way, they have access to the website when they have the invitation, and you don't have to worry about hiding certain information, or whatever.

Also, it is fine to include registry information on a website, as the website is not the invitation.

shortstuff

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #11 on: Yesterday at 08:34:47 PM »
Follow up question: did anyone include the full wedding details in the website, and if so, how much time was there between sending the website info and the actual invitation?  It's not that I'm trying to keep the wedding details secret, I'd like like to announce them formally with the really pretty invitations I designed lol so should I / can I hide that part of the website till after invites go out?

Exactly what details are you announcing with the invitation?

Generally, the only information on the invitation is: who's getting married, who's hosting, where the wedding and reception are, and when the wedding and reception are. All of this information is needed by your guests to plan their attendance. What else would you be holding back?


Powers  &8^]

Like Toots said, XYZ Country Club and stuff like that.  I've already had one friend look up the website, the menus, try to figure out the cost per head, etc.  I dunno if this is a trend, because of the information age, my generation, or what.  But just as I'm not showing every guest the photo of me in my dress, I also don't want to over-share the venue.  I've also seen too many scary stories of people crashing the wedding because the details were made public or widely shared, and while I'm certainly not expecting that to happen, it make me wonder how much gets shared.  I'm probably overthinking it. 

I've had a handful of people ask about the details of the time and location, hotel, etc, which was not on the save the date, so I'm going to send it out via email and FB tonight.  I appreciate the replies, it gives me the "big picture" of how these things are done. 

HannahGrace

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #12 on: Yesterday at 10:16:33 PM »
If you are worried about security/ privacy, most wedding site templates have a password protection option.

TootsNYC

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #13 on: Yesterday at 11:37:17 PM »

Like Toots said, XYZ Country Club and stuff like that.  I've already had one friend look up the website, the menus, try to figure out the cost per head, etc.

And this person *told* you that?

That was rude.

It's just like the "reading my calendar" thread, and the another one going on now.
It's like eavesdropping.

Of course people do it; sometimes they can't even help it.
It's a little hard to say it's wrong in the eyes of Etiquette (it might be wrong in the eyes of Character).

But Etiquette does say it's rude to let on that it happened! You are supposed to exercise discretion.

Deetee

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Re: How to share a wedding website
« Reply #14 on: Yesterday at 11:59:33 PM »
To book travel, I want things like exact times and location. To book time off work, I just need date and general location.