Author Topic: Can We Address This?  (Read 3269 times)

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Thipu1

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Can We Address This?
« on: December 31, 2013, 11:02:05 AM »
Nephew and his wife have always been kind and friendly.  We last saw them in the Spring and enjoyed each other's company.  Every few weeks we receive family emails with pictures of their children. 

Now, the holiday season is here and this household seems to have fallen into a black hole.  We sent a gift they requested and our usual card.  We have had no response at all. 

No gift (usually sent but not expected)

No TY for our gift (they're usually very good about this)

No Christmas card (very unusual not to receive one from them)

No answer to emails. 
frankly, we're concerned.  SIL sees them several times a week and assures us that they're all alive and well.  Still, we have to wonder if we did something to offend them. 

Can we do anything about this? 

TootsNYC

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2013, 11:11:40 AM »
Drop 'em an email. "How are you? Did the kids have a nice Christmas? What was the best gift? Our favorite moment was hearing some carolers a block away. It was sort of a neat feeling--eavesdropping on someone else's wonderful moment, sort of sharing in the mood."

You could, I suppose, say, "I heard about all the delays with shipping this year, it was even on the news. I hope our package got through."

Just be in ordinary touch, only perhaps a little more frequent.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2013, 12:41:49 PM »
I'd wait till mid January. If they are going through a difficult time and are not ready to share with extended family, hearing from you now may make them feel guilty for not contacting you.

esposita

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 02:30:39 PM »
Since you know that they are all alive and well, and that they don't usually take you for granted, I'd carry on as you normally would. I agree with Hmmmm that you don't want to risk making them feel worse.

Maybe their kids are getting to an age where they had more obligations this year? Maybe her extended family changed things up a bit and they had more to do?

hobish

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2013, 03:10:42 PM »
Drop 'em an email. "How are you? Did the kids have a nice Christmas? What was the best gift? Our favorite moment was hearing some carolers a block away. It was sort of a neat feeling--eavesdropping on someone else's wonderful moment, sort of sharing in the mood."

You could, I suppose, say, "I heard about all the delays with shipping this year, it was even on the news. I hope our package got through."

Just be in ordinary touch, only perhaps a little more frequent.

That's what i was going to suggest, except maybe not more frequesnt, just a line dropped to say hello.
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cicero

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2014, 02:56:45 AM »
I'd wait till mid January. If they are going through a difficult time and are not ready to share with extended family, hearing from you now may make them feel guilty for not contacting you.
I agree. They may be going through something and very stressed out.


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magician5

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2014, 03:07:21 PM »
You just never know until you ask. For example, a few years ago, we didn't hear from my distant onetime college friend. Turns out, later, they phoned to say that the postman had left our package inside a back door that they almost never use. Six months later, they opened the door ... surprise!
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NyaChan

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2014, 03:11:02 PM »
If you are used to having a friendly relationship, I don't see what is stopping you from just picking up the phone and saying, "Hey how are you guys? Hadn't heard from you in a while and we wanted to know you were doing?" 

shhh its me

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2014, 12:48:08 PM »
If you are used to having a friendly relationship, I don't see what is stopping you from just picking up the phone and saying, "Hey how are you guys? Hadn't heard from you in a while and we wanted to know you were doing?"

POD .  I might wait till Monday or Tuesday when the kids are settled back into a school routine.

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2014, 04:42:09 PM »
I'd wait till mid January. If they are going through a difficult time and are not ready to share with extended family, hearing from you now may make them feel guilty for not contacting you.

I also agree, especially if they really don't want to talk right now. Or if they are in the middle of doing Big Project or Small Project and really can't talk/send emails/etc. because they are concentrating on that, or whatever else has popped up.

veronaz

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Re: Can We Address This?
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2014, 05:51:39 PM »
I don’t think an email will accomplish anything………they’ve been ignoring your emails.  I also don't see where being in the middle of some project would account for them ignoring you.

Very strange situation.   All the odd behavior is (from what yoy said( very unusual.  Yet you know they are okay.

You can guess/speculate forever, but OP, have you tried calling them?