General Etiquette > Life...in general

Picky Eater at a Swanky Party- was I rude?

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fklwmn:
Saturday night I accompanied a friend of mine to her company holiday party. It was a semi-formal affair at the swankiest hotel in Richmond (soooo fancy!) and included a cocktail and appetizer hour, a sit down dinner including salad and main course (which was pre-ordered), and dancing, not to mention the open bar available in several locations (in fact I had so many Shirley Temples the bartender wondered how I'd manage to drive home ;) ).

The choices for dinner were Filet Mignon, Salmon, and Pasta Primavera. I. Am. The. Pickiest. Eater. Ever. At least, the pickiest eater over the age of 10. I can't even sand the THOUGHT of Fish, and I was worried the Filet Mignon would be served too rare for my taste (I was right) so I opted for the pasta. Pasta is pretty hard to mess up.

When we were served our salads the man next to me (whom I had only just met - he was the husband of Friend's coworker) scolded me for picking the shredded beets off the top of it. I just used my fork, scooped the beets off the top, and scooted them into a pile on the edge of my plate. At first I was a bit taken aback at being chastised like a small child (even if I do eat like one...  ::) ).

When we were served our main courses I joked with my friend that I felt like a 4 year old. While the other guests were all served dishes that were prettily arranged on dinner plates, I was served a large bowl full of pasta, placed on a dinner plate. It didn't help me to feel more gorwn up that my pasta was fill of squash. Which I hate. So, as dinner progressed, I would simply pick up squash with my fork and deposit it on the edge of my plate around my bowl. It was at that point it occurred to me that perhaps I was being rude by picking through my meal at the fanciest party I had ever been to.

I expressed my concern to my friend, who assured me I was being quite discreet, and if she hadn't happened to be sitting on the side where I was depositing my squash, she would not realise I was picking though my food. But I'm still not sure, so eHellions, help me out. When you're being served a meal that has ingredients that you don't eat... is it impolite to pick them out of the dish, of done discreetly? Should I have choked down (and therefore not enjoyed) the ingredients that were a part of my meal in the name of manners? I don't often dine anywhere where I cannot request ingredients that I dislike be left out of my meal, so I haven't been in this situation before.

hobish:

Not only was it not rude for you to discreetly work around food you don't like, it was VERY rude for that guy to comment on how you were eating your salad.

That would have really made me mad!

girlmusic:
As long as you didn't call attention to yourself - for instance saying "Ewww BEETS!" or "Squash is so disgusting.." - then you were fine. It was rude of the man to comment on your decision to pick out the beets.

Here's an example of not-so-polite:
I was out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant with DH's family. The appetizer I ordered was quail, and it was absolutely delicious so I offered everyone a bite. DH's teenaged sister went on an on about how gross it was to eat quail, how she felt bad for the bird, how she would never eat that, etc. She was rude. She should have declined a taste with a simple "no, thank you" and reserved any comments for a private conversation with someone else afterwards.

kingsrings:
I don't think that you were being rude at all. You were very discreet about it, and I would of done the same thing too if I was in that position. You would of only been rude if you had made a scene about what you were doing, such as complaining about it, talking about it to everyone.

Hawkwatcher:

--- Quote ---I was out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant with DH's family. The appetizer I ordered was quail, and it was absolutely delicious so I offered everyone a bite. DH's teenaged sister went on an on about how gross it was to eat quail, how she felt bad for the bird, how she would never eat that, etc. She was rude. She should have declined a taste with a simple "no, thank you" and reserved any comments for a private conversation with someone else afterwards.
--- End quote ---

Is she a meat eater?  I would have informed her that whatever animal she was eating did not commit suicide.

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