Picky Eater at a Swanky Party- was I rude?

[smarterthanu213]

The ONLY instance in which pickiness is rude is when you make a loud production out of it.

You should write to Dear Abby about it, she might tell you that you ought to have eaten the beets to make the man next to you
"more comfortable" or something...

[Alida]

The ONLY instance in which pickiness is rude is when you make a loud production out of it.

You should write to Dear Abby about it, she might tell you that you ought to have eaten the beets to make the man next to you
"more comfortable" or something...

I demand you come here and clean up this water I just got all over the place after reading that!

The only time it's rude to be picky is, like everyone has pretty much said, if you make a big production out of it. 

[girlmusic]

quote]

Is she a meat eater?  I would have informed her that whatever animal she was eating did not commit suicide.

[/quote]

She eats Chicken. I told her it wasn't a wild animal. She persisted.

[snacky-poo]

I think you were just fine - I think the man was very rude - you may have had dietary restrictions.  Sounds like you were very discreet and didn't publicize your food preferences.

[smarterthanu213]

The ONLY instance in which pickiness is rude is when you make a loud production out of it.

You should write to Dear Abby about it, she might tell you that you ought to have eaten the beets to make the man next to you
"more comfortable" or something...

I demand you come here and clean up this water I just got all over the place after reading that!

The only time it's rude to be picky is, like everyone has pretty much said, if you make a big production out of it. 

Muahaha. What you don't know is that it (my post) was a part of a conspiracy headed up by Dear Abby to stop hate mail by making people spit water or other liquids all over their keyboards.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

Is she a meat eater?  I would have informed her that whatever animal she was eating did not commit suicide.

She eats Chicken. I told her it wasn't a wild animal. She persisted.

Undereducated activists make me laugh. Usually in their faces. But that's just me....

-Ulla

[ccnumber4]

I agree with pretty much everyone else, the key is to be discrete.  Why some people feel the need to comment on what another is or is not eating is beyond me.  Sounds like you did just fine, and the other guy was a clod. 

[girlmusic]

Undereducated activists make me laugh. Usually in their faces. But that's just me....

-Ulla

I know - I said "don't you know where Chicken comes from?" but I really wanted to tell her to grow up. Yes she is 15, but she should know better than to comment on someone else's food choices. Next time she does it, I am going to tell her that she is being rude.

[Slartibartfast]

IMHO, if you can't or won't eat food you're served (for any reason, not just being a picky eater), you should eat around it or gently push the offending items to the side of your plate.  Conspicuously picking up bits of (e.g.) shrimp, holding them at eye level to examine them, and dramatically placing them around the edge of your plate would be rude.  Gently shoving anything shrimplike to one side of your plate and eating whatever is left on the other would be fine.

Of course, if it's an allergy or health issue, you should never have to eat something that will make you physically ill.  But it sounds like the OP did a good job, the guy who commented on her salad was rude, and the OP will know (and probably already does) to find out more about her meals in the future to avoid embarassment.

[kiero]

You were not rude as long as you didn't call attention to yourself . The man was the rude one.

It would have been nicer if you have been able to move what you didn't like in the pasta to one side of your pasta bowl instead of putting it on the plate, but that is being a bit nitpicky and not a big deal as long as you don't call attention to yourself.

I also vote for this.  I would worry that your method might make pieces of squash fall off the plate when it wsa cleared.  Presonally I don't think it would be fair to make a server pick up the pieces if they fell off - so I would try to keep them in the bowl rather than potentially booy-trap the plate.

But as long as you are descrete and don't make a scene then there is nothing wrong with what you did. 

At my wedding when my cousin found out we were having a spinach salad with strawberries (we served family style/a serving bowl per table and let people help themselves) wanted to know why we couldn't have one on her table without pieces of fruit in it...  She was fine with a sweet dressing - but the fruit would make it icky or something.  She still grumbles about not being able to eat the salad.  She refused to pick out the things she didn't like.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

Undereducated activists make me laugh. Usually in their faces. But that's just me....

-Ulla

I know - I said "don't you know where Chicken comes from?" but I really wanted to tell her to grow up. Yes she is 15, but she should know better than to comment on someone else's food choices. Next time she does it, I am going to tell her that she is being rude.

I knew a girl who insisted that eating wild meat was cruel and inhumane. She, of course, ate any kind of normal meat. I asked her how a swift death from a bullet was crueler than factory farming, conveyor belt death lines, or the very real possibility that the animal she was eating wasn't quite all the way dead when it was cut up. She hasn't talked to me since but I can't say there was any love lost.

You're right, at 15 she is old enough to know better. It sounds like she was threatened by a dish she wasn't used to.

-Ulla- not a vegetarian but at least I know what I'm eating and how it got here.

[Venus193]

Count me among the lot who say that the man was rude to comment on the OP's eating.  Also, as long as one picks discreetly, it doesn't matter and isn't rude.

The big difference here is that the food is prepared by a restaurant/hotel/catering service rather than a host with whom you are personally acquainted.  I hate lamb, but will swallow a few bites at the home of a good friend who prepares it once in a while.

[freakyfemme]

See, that's why I hate things like that.  I'd rather eat at home (or at the homes of close friends) than go to a fancy dinner party, because I'm a little on the "picky" side too.  I don't eat meat, I don't really like eggs, and I'll only eat tofu if it's cooked a certain way (extra-firm, and either stir-fried or raw in salads).  Oh, and I absolutely despise mayonnaise......and a lot of other things too, like, I'll eat squash soup, but not just cooked squash by itself, and I'll eat spinach if it's ground up or in something (or just raw), but I hate it when it's cooked, but limp.  I also hate sweet foods that aren't supposed to be sweet, like Chinese red bean soup, and rice pudding.  Rice is not a dessert, and putting it in a pudding doesn't make it one, lol.  But yeah, that's why I don't like fancy gatherings like that, it's much easier for me to just deal with my pickiness on my own, and not make myself uncomfortable by pretending to like foods I can't stand, or make other people uncomfortable if I *can't* pretend well enough.

[kkl123]

As long as you're not commenting on the food, you're fine picking through it.  May I suggest a modified technique  for fancy dinners that might make it less obvious, though?  Rather than depositing everything you don't like to one side, try to just get the bits you like on the fork, leaving behind an "enriched" pile of whatsits.  There's usually way more food than a real serving on the plate, and
with some of your food left over, and a few smears of sauce, you can get enough to eat without looking like you're doing a food analysis on it.  <g>

[ZipTheWonder]

It would have been nicer if you have been able to move what you didn't like in the pasta to one side of your pasta bowl instead of putting it on the plate, but that is being a bit nitpicky and not a big deal as long as you don't call attention to yourself.

I think it's even better to "eat around" the thing you dislike, if it's feasible, and to leave a bit of what you do like, such that it looks like you fill easily rather than that you didn't enjoy your meal. 

But whatever choices are made, guests shouldn't be scrutinizing one another's eating habits.