Author Topic: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?  (Read 4698 times)

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Margo

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2014, 08:02:58 AM »
it sounds a little odd, but not rude.

So far as the photos are concerned, it sounds as though they ensured that all their guests were fed before they started having to stand around and take photographs. It may also to some extent have been dictated by time constraints with the church or officiant and/or caterers.

I'm not clear why it would have prevented conversations? surely it's no different than if the photos were all taken outside the church - those not being photographed mingle and make conversation (bonus if you get to do it inside in the warm, and where there are places you can sit down...)

The MOH rap would have probably made me cringe - but that doesn't make it rude, it's just my personal preference, and it may be that the bride and groom, and their families (who presumably know them better than you do) thought it was great!


Jones

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2014, 08:11:36 AM »
This actually sounds very similar to quite a few receptions I've attended. I never thought of reception pictures as rude before, and a song or rap is something some people do in lieu of a toast.

Didn't have dancing at my wedding because I didn't care for it. Now I cringe when looking back because people surely judged us on that.

bonyk

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #17 on: January 02, 2014, 08:41:58 AM »
I think the photos are marginally rude.  Basically they paused the reception so that some guests could participate.  It sounds like it's part of the poor planning, but I agree with the OP that poor planning can result in rudeness.

Ice, ice baby would have annoyed me.  I'm really not into the trend of performances at a wedding.

jaxsue

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2014, 10:33:36 AM »
I attended a wedding in which we (the guests) sat through a slideshow of the couple's long history together, and of their families.  The only way that could be more excruciating was if it had been accompanied by "Ice, Ice Baby".  The quickest way to kill a party is to bring out slides.

At my own wedding, I thought I was organized and had things down to a T (and we didn't have music, except for a quintet of friends of mine, nor dancing, nor a DJ).  Well, the first thing goes wrong, which tipped off the next in an avalanche of wrong that made it seem I whipped that wedding together in 15 minutes for 80 people.  Sometimes you do the best you can and it's still a big can of fail.

Disorganized and off the cuff is one thing; planned without consideration for the guests' comfort (no or too few chairs, etc.) is rude.

The bolded reminds me of a wedding I attended about 30 yrs ago. The slide show was, IIRC, about an hour long, accompanied by 80s ballads. Not fun for the guests!  :P

Edited to add: I don't equate this with rudeness, but just a personal preference. I am not a fan of family videos/slides (of a certain length, anyway), probably due to being forced to watch them (or else!) in my FOO. YMMV.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2014, 11:16:06 AM by jaxsue »

EllenS

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #19 on: January 02, 2014, 10:34:41 AM »
Maybe I'm out of touch with how things should be done, but I don't think I would have paid any attention to the things you mentioned.  I would just figure it was what they wanted for their wedding and go with the flow, even with the family photo time in the midst of other things.
When you go to a wedding you are participating in something very special for the bride and groom and their families so I think you might expect things will be different than you would have done them.  It's all a matter of taste. 
Now, I do draw the line at creating physical discomfort (or lack of safety) for the guests, like having them outside in blistering heat or freezing cold.

Agreed.  I'd equate lack of chairs in that - you should plan to accomodate all your guests, unless it is a cocktail-party atmosphere at the reception with chairs just around the edges.

meegs

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2014, 10:52:20 AM »
I'm reminded of a popular deity awful wedding trend two or three years ago. It usually involved "Hey, wedding guests, we've got a surprise for you! You won't believe what we and the wedding party are going to do! *breaks into choreographed Thriller dance*"  The only thing worse is the bride and groom singing to each other at the altar. Or those viral engagement videos where people break into dance and song  :-X

I actually quite enjoy these things.  I enjoy watching the videos and seeing them in person.  If someone wants to do them at their wedding reception or ceremony then I don't see what is so 'god awful' about it.  Just because someone is expressing their love in a way you don't like doesn't mean that it is wrong. 

Hmmmmm

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2014, 11:09:56 AM »
Maybe I'm out of touch with how things should be done, but I don't think I would have paid any attention to the things you mentioned.  I would just figure it was what they wanted for their wedding and go with the flow, even with the family photo time in the midst of other things.
When you go to a wedding you are participating in something very special for the bride and groom and their families so I think you might expect things will be different than you would have done them.  It's all a matter of taste. 
Now, I do draw the line at creating physical discomfort (or lack of safety) for the guests, like having them outside in blistering heat or freezing cold.

I thought more about the photos during the midst of the wedding reception and I think I would have been entertained by watching it. I'm a people watcher so wondering how the family groups were related and watching their interaction and how they are lining up would have been an interesting activity that DH and I would have chatted about.  I just don't see how this was rude. Maybe it was boring to you but I don't see it as rude.

bah12

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2014, 11:12:25 AM »
I'm with everyone else.  The wedding sounds disorganized and maybe not a whole lot of fun, but there's nothing rude about not being fun. And while I'm sure you did not mean to come off this way, your post does sort of seem like you were sitting around making mental notes of things that you didn't like instead of trying to enjoy yourself.  When DH and I attend events that don't entertain us on their own merit, we start little conversations with each other (or others), play little games, etc to make our own fun.  At least there was wine.


rose red

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2014, 11:57:04 AM »
Ice Ice Baby may be boring, but so are toasts and speeches to me and nobody would criticize those at weddings.  Taking pictures is not the "norm" unless they are doing it in some out of the way area, but I don't find it rude unless they are asking for the complete silence and attention of the guests.  I've attended weddings with activities that I'm not comfortable with (like dancing) and usually just ignore that part and sit at a table talking to other people. 

Eeep!

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2014, 12:46:04 PM »
We ended up doing some family pictures - mostly just huge group shots - of almost my entire side of the family at our reception because they all left after the ceremony instead of staying for a few pictures like they were supposed to.  Guess they really wanted to start partying. ;)  (I have no idea how that whole communication breakdown happened, but it did!)
Perhaps the bride and groom thought it would be better to do those pics at the reception instead of making people wait longer between the ceremony and the reception. Or maybe their entire family had a brain fart like mine.  >:D

I don't think any of the issues sound least bit rude. It's not like you are OWED access to a dance floor at a reception. And unless the "five minute warnings" were incredibly loud and 5 minutes long themselves, I don't see how they would be problematic.  I'm sure they thought it was nice to give people a heads up.  (Plus, that doesn't sound that off-the-cuff to me.)  And since you say yourself you don't know the bride, maybe she thought the Ice Ice Baby was hilarious. And if she didn't - it was more the person doing that song that was rude, not the bride and groom.

I'm thinking that perhaps because you weren't close to the GOH that you were a bit hypercritical of the whole thing? If it had been someone you know and love would you have been so disgusted?
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baglady

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #25 on: January 02, 2014, 01:30:10 PM »
When I read the subject line, my first thought was "Of course people will want to take family pictures at the reception!" In many families, mine included, weddings and funerals are the only time the family gets together. And at every wedding I've attended, the pictures taken between ceremony and reception were bridal party and the HC's parents (sometimes grandparents also, and children of the HC who aren't in the bridal party). If you want pictures of the rest of the family, that's going to happen at the reception.

I think having professional photos of family groups taken at the reception is a great idea, but it could have been handled better. Maybe just three photos -- one of the HC and all the bride's relatives, another with the groom's family, another with the friends. "OK, now let's get one with just the cousins! Now let's get one with the siblings!" "Now the siblings and sibs-in-law!" would have gotten on my nerves after a while, especially as a guest who was neither family nor friend.

Commandeering the dance floor for the photo shoot doesn't sound like the best idea, but maybe it was the only alternative. Can't say because I wasn't there.
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shiksagoddess

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #26 on: January 02, 2014, 04:04:24 PM »
Add my voice to those who say "not rude."

Actually, this reception sounds somewhat tame to some real horror shows disguised as wedding receptions.  I'm sorry you did not enjoy yourself.  Hopefully you can look back and find one or two good things to remember about the wedding and reception.

sunnygirl

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #27 on: January 02, 2014, 04:50:19 PM »
Personally I think it's pretty rude and to say that a bride and groom/wedding party should not be allowed to choose music and speeches based on their personal taste, just because it might not be the personal taste of every guest. A lot of people have genres of music they dislike, or may hate flippant comedy speeches, or may hate serious speeches, and it's hardly realistic to expect them to find out the tastes of every guest, to ensure no one has to sit through even a single song they don't care for. I wouldn't expect every single song to be to my liking at any event unless it was an event for me or that I'd organised. Unless the rap was objectively offensive (e.g. profanity, racist slurs, etc.) there's nothing wrong with it.

The photos thing sounds like poor planning and unfortunate but not necessarily rude.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2014, 05:02:33 PM by sunnygirl »

mime

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #28 on: January 02, 2014, 08:12:25 PM »
I guess there's a time when hosting is not to our tastes, a time when it is rude, and a time when it is just plain old poor hosting.

OP, as I read your post, I was picturing the bride's sister as someone who was looking for the spotlight, thinking she was the life of the party, and craving the microphone. IMO, unless she was quite talented and the sound system could support a performance, I don't think inflicting her on the guests was a good idea, and was probably tacky, but not rude. I also think a not-super-close guest is not obligated to stay for the duration of the reception; no need to endure a party not to your liking. I'd say that was not rude, but simply not to my taste.

The disorganized aspect of the hosting sounds to me like it was just poor hosting. I suppose you can use that memory to remind you to compliment the next host you encounter who put in the time and effort to pull off a great event?

From my read-through of the situation, I think the photograph thing was rude. It sounds to me like the whole reception came grinding to a halt for it. I get the impression that all non-family guests were there with no music/dancing for entertainment, no food (dinner was over), nothing to do but wait for the pictures to be over. Sure, they could mingle, and many lovely receptions don't have music, dancing, or food anyway. *but* to have all of those things and then bring them to a halt for nearly an hour of a family-only activity would convey a feeling to me that either the reception is over or my hosts want us to just wait around for a while so they can do some stuff without us, then we'll continue with the party. If I were a non-family guest, I'd likely choose that time to go home, and be greatful that I wasn't a fringe-family-member who was expected to wait for 45 minutes for the one big group photograph they wanted me in.  :-\

I know there are possible explanations of circumstances where this was an unplanned work-around for something that went wrong. We don't know for sure. They were likely entertaining according to their tastes and preferences, rather than your (or my) tastes. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with you going home early to enjoy Sunday night in your own way!

Bijou

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Re: Family photos in the middle of a wedding reception?
« Reply #29 on: January 02, 2014, 08:23:30 PM »
Maybe I'm out of touch with how things should be done, but I don't think I would have paid any attention to the things you mentioned.  I would just figure it was what they wanted for their wedding and go with the flow, even with the family photo time in the midst of other things.
When you go to a wedding you are participating in something very special for the bride and groom and their families so I think you might expect things will be different than you would have done them.  It's all a matter of taste. 
Now, I do draw the line at creating physical discomfort (or lack of safety) for the guests, like having them outside in blistering heat or freezing cold.

I thought more about the photos during the midst of the wedding reception and I think I would have been entertained by watching it. I'm a people watcher so wondering how the family groups were related and watching their interaction and how they are lining up would have been an interesting activity that DH and I would have chatted about.  I just don't see how this was rude. Maybe it was boring to you but I don't see it as rude.
I actually meant to include in my post that I am a people watcher and would have found it interesting for the same reasons you state. 
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