Author Topic: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick  (Read 10547 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

camlan

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8784
The upstairs toilet at my brother's house is loud. The flush is loud, and then the water running through the pipes is loud. You can pretty much hear every flush and the subsequent water running in every bedroom for at least 3 or 4 minutes.

So when the kids were little, I was asked not to flush at night because it would wake the kids up. And I tried to do this, but at 2 am, I was pretty much operating on auto-pilot and would flush without thinking about it for the first few times I stayed with them.

The only other bathroom on the second floor was the ensuite master bath, and getting downstairs and navigating in the dark to the bathroom on the other side of the house was not happening at 2 am.

Now the kids are older and it is not a problem anymore. However, two of the kids are going through a weird stage where they refuse to flush after they go. My dear SIL is just hoping they outgrow this soon.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11825
  • xi
...I flush every time until she tells me to do otherwise and I probably would even then ("oops, I forgot"). IMO, it's embarrassing to just leave the contents there for the next user.

It is so automatic for me that I have been known to flush WHILE chanting "Do Not Flush.  Do Not Flush."  That has come up when the plumbing is being worked on and the water is off.

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 14505
...I flush every time until she tells me to do otherwise and I probably would even then ("oops, I forgot"). IMO, it's embarrassing to just leave the contents there for the next user.

It is so automatic for me that I have been known to flush WHILE chanting "Do Not Flush.  Do Not Flush."  That has come up when the plumbing is being worked on and the water is off.

As someone who is used to not flushing every time, even I sometimes end up doing this.  Why is it that you don't have to go to the bathroom until someone tells you that you can't?
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

bloo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1302
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1696
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:
bloo, I respect your personal boundaries of ick, but no.  We skip flushing liquids sometimes and no, it does not "attract flies" and our bowl does not get dirtier any faster than when we always flushed.
We have little girls, and wasting 8 gallons of water to flush 2 tsp of urine and 2 sheets of tp every time they go, would put a huge dent in our household budget.  We also have a septic tank in the backyard, I am just not sure it could handle that volume of water, especially when we get heavy rains.
......................................................................
                www.ellenseltz.com
......................................................................


DoubleTrouble

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1357
Now the kids are older and it is not a problem anymore. However, two of the kids are going through a weird stage where they refuse to flush after they go. My dear SIL is just hoping they outgrow this soon.

LOL, I'm glad we're not the only ones with this problem!

bloo, I respect your personal boundaries of ick, but no.  We skip flushing liquids sometimes and no, it does not "attract flies" and our bowl does not get dirtier any faster than when we always flushed.

We have little girls, and wasting 8 gallons of water to flush 2 tsp of urine and 2 sheets of tp every time they go, would put a huge dent in our household budget.  We also have a septic tank in the backyard, I am just not sure it could handle that volume of water, especially when we get heavy rains.

We don't have a septic tank but had the same problem when doing potty training, it just wasn't worth it to flush every single time. Especially with twins.

Yarnspinner

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3994
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.

Re: the bolded...this was my objection.  I already had an infection...and, p.s., it has come back with a vengeance and I am back on cipro...and I didn't want to make it worse.  Last night I had to use the bathroom so often that I was trekking across the hall to my father's suite and using HIS bathroom, not an easy thing to do when you really have to GO.

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1696
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:

Re: the bolded...this was my objection.  I already had an infection...and, p.s., it has come back with a vengeance and I am back on cipro...and I didn't want to make it worse.  Last night I had to use the bathroom so often that I was trekking across the hall to my father's suite and using HIS bathroom, not an easy thing to do when you really have to GO.

Oh, that's awful, I'm so sorry you are dealing with that and hope you're better soon. UTI's are just disproportionately miserable.

We always flush in other people's houses and always flush in our house when we have company.  Water-saving is only for when it's just us.
......................................................................
                www.ellenseltz.com
......................................................................


siamesecat2965

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8954
In my own apt, if i get up to wee in the night, I leave it. Anything else, I flush. Not because I'm afraid of waking anyone, but the noise annoys ME! which means when I have company, or am at someone else's home, I have to remember to fllush all the time!  the only exception is at my mom's where I have my own loo, and no one else will be using it between the time i go to bed, and wake up. I've also never been anywhere where they've said don't flush unless its brown, so I guess I've been lucky!

HockeyNut

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 169

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???

When I stayed at a cabin that was on a limited septic system & had the "no paper
in the toilet" rule I would tie the trash bag off & take it out to the garbage can after a bm.   No way was I leaving that in the bathroom to "share" with my friends.  Just a wee? Paper stayed in the bathroom trash can until it was emptied at the end of the day.   It was a bit of a hassle but better than digging a hole out
in the woods!

bloo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1302
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

Peregrine

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 463
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.

See, this is where I think the breakdown is.  For those of us that don't flush at night, if there were problems with flies, etching, or icky splashing...we wouldn't be doing it in the first place!  I have never seen flies or anything gross growing in my toilets.  I scrub them every other day or so anyway.  But a few cc's of urine and a couple of squares of TP in anywhere from 8-12 gallons of water for 4-6 hours are just not causing issues.  I do always flush every time during the day.

I would NEVER, tell a guest that they couldn't flush overnight in my home, nor would I refrain from flushing overnight as a guest in someone else's home unless they asked me to.  Pretty much what EllenS is saying.  It's just a household habit that developed because of really rattly pipes that sounded like Niagra falls in an old house.

esposita

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 559
  • If you have the power to make someone happy, do it
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1735

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???

When I stayed at a cabin that was on a limited septic system & had the "no paper
in the toilet" rule I would tie the trash bag off & take it out to the garbage can after a bm.   No way was I leaving that in the bathroom to "share" with my friends.  Just a wee? Paper stayed in the bathroom trash can until it was emptied at the end of the day.   It was a bit of a hassle but better than digging a hole out
in the woods!

It's quite common in Greece and Turkey - it's normal to have a hose or tap so you clean yourself that way and pat dry. If you use the paper to wipe, yes, you put it in the bin (which is normally fairly small, and in most of the homes I've been, has a lid), and empty the bin frequently.

It doesn't seem to get particularly stinky, despite hot weather - and flies were never an issue in my sister and BiL's place when they were living in Turkey.  Of course, remembering not to put paper in the loo can be a challenge..

bah12

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5305
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.