Weird seating situation at a party

[Sophia]

That is horrible.  The only upside is that you didn't get to know these people, only to later find out that they were horrible.

[Outdoor Girl]

The only thing you maybe could have done is scanned the room to see if there were any other tables that only had 5 people instead of 6.  And ask to join them as your other dining companions had abandoned you.

I don't blame you at all for not doing this, as I'm not even sure I could do it.

What unbelievably rude, boorish people!  Even more rude if the servers were bussing the tables - much harder to get in to do your job if people have squeezed in.

If you want to socialize with the other folks, fine, but you eat your meal at your assigned table and then tuck a chair in to chat later.

[Delete My Account]

Those people were jerks. I've been to weddings where I've sat next to people I didn't know, but always saw it as an opportunity to meet someone new. I would never have been as cruel to abandon someone like that. I'd actually take the chance to make you feel more included, if anything.

[bah12]

I think they were rude to change the assigned seating and I'm sorry that you were left alone and had a bad time.  I don't think this was the fault of the bride and groom, but that of the people at your table.  I don't think you can have done much to prevent it unfortunately.  My only suggestion would have been to see if there was a table that had room for you to join and try to mingle with people and possibly make a new friend. 

[DCGirl]

I don't blame the bride and groom -- they can't be everywhere ensuring that everyone behaves well at all times.  I also think it was terribly rude of the other guests.  While it's great to catch up with friends or out-of-town relatives you don't see every days while at a wedding, part of being a good guest is being nice to your fellow guests.  I'm the world's worst dancer, while DH has two left feet and zero rhythm, but when my college roommate asked us to get out on the dance floor to help her get the dancing started at her wedding, we graciously got out there and did our best for the first three songs. 

[LifeOnPluto]

((hugs Dragon_heart)) - what a horrible situation to be in. I know I would have been pretty gutted if that had happened to me.

The guests who moved to a different table were rude. Doubly so if they already saw you there, sitting alone, yet chose to move anyway!

If I was feeling bold, I would have - as Outdoor Girl suggested - scouted the room, and if there was a table not full up, asked those people if I could join them. However, I don't think you were rude at all for leaving early. If I wasn't feeling bold, I'd do exactly the same thing.

[Iris]

Rude, immature and selfish people! Perhaps it's for the best that you don't know the groom's 'other' friends.

[Surianne]

That is flat-out bizarre behaviour.  Wow.  I'm really sorry that happened to you.  I've been the lone single person at a wedding table before and always appreciate it when the others are interested in including me...it's hard enough when they're still sitting at the table but just ignoring you, so I imagine I'd have been pretty dumbstruck if they actually *left* the table like that.

I like the suggestion to find another table to sit at where people seem welcoming.  I think leaving was fine too -- in the moment I may have been so surprised or upset that I wouldn't have thought to move to another table.

[dragon_heart]

They were terribly rude, and it's a shame no one intervened. Even if those four people were genuinely oblivious, someone already at one of the tables they joined could have had a quiet word with them, or recruited a few friends to ask to join you "since their table got so crowded." Really; my jaw dropped reading that they just left you, and no one did anything about it.

One question: you say you left after the toasts. Was that also after the meal? I think our toasts were before we ate, but I just went to my friend's wedding and they were after, so it's hard to tell how long you were there.

The toasts in this case was said after everyone had eaten. The people from the other tables were close friends with the 2 pairs of couples supposed to sit with me.

No, they never said a word to me. They all knew one another, and they spent a few minutes chatting while the others remained standing. Then I heard one person there say, "Hey, why don't we all sit together?"

The age group would be around late 20s to early 30s crowd. Most of those people were either married or in a relationship as most of them were couples.

It was possible for me to join another group but since there was no usher or server around, and I didn't know anyone there I just let things be.

[TootsNYC]

It's incredibly rude. every etiquette book has a paragraph about *not* changing the seating if your hostess has placed your place cards somewhere.

Here's another example (to me, at least) of guests over-valuing themselves. Their enjoyment was all they cared about, and they completely lost sight of the fact that guests have an obligation to their hosts to help create an enjoyable party for everyone. Even if that means that the guest is a bit uncomfortable or inconvenienced by having to socialize with someone they don't know. Don't know YET, anyway.


The bride & groom probably carefully checked over their seating arrangements, and placed you near people they thought you'd enjoy. So not only were these people rude to you, they were really rude to their hosts.

How to handle it? I guess you could drag your chair over with them... Moving to another table is certainly fine, as was leaving, but what a bummer!

[Bijou]

That was a terrible thing to do.  I can't believe that no one saw what was happening and took it upon themselves to invite you to join them or join you/stay at your table.  That's as bad as everyone in a group getting up to dance (with someone else), leaving someone sitting alone. 

[Snooks]

I can't believe the bride and groom didn't come over to speak to you and done something to fix the situation.  Seems pretty crappy on their part.

[TootsNYC]

I can't believe the bride and groom didn't come over to speak to you and done something to fix the situation.  Seems pretty crappy on their part.

I disagree. I can't imagine that at a busy reception, the bride and groom (who are also guests of honor, not *just* the hosts) would have time to notice every action among their various guests across the room. And they may have figured people had moved only temporarily.

(This is actually one of the reasons why the mother of the bride was traditionally the hostess--because she would more likely be free to attend to the *work* of hosting, while the bride and groom could focus on being the guests of honor.)

[LifeOnPluto]

How to handle it? I guess you could drag your chair over with them... Moving to another table is certainly fine, as was leaving, but what a bummer!

That means there would have been nine people (including the OP) at a table designed for six. I have a gut feeling that someone would have told the OP "There's no room for you - you'll have to find somewhere else to sit."

I agree, however, that the OP could have tried sitting at a table that had six or less people.

[Raintree]

Their behaviour was not only rude, but I also find it immature. What, they can't handle being at a table without all their friends for an hour or two? It kind of reminds me of a seminar I attended while I was in college. (Extracurricular, but relevant to what we were learning in our field of study, and practical/hands on). It wasn't just students, but also people who were already working in our field going for their continuing education credits. So the instructor at one point told us to pair up for a hands-on practice session. Most people just paired up with whomever happened to be sitting near them, so I turned to the nearest person (another student not in my year) and asked if she wanted to pair up, and she said "No, I want to go find my friend" and went running off for her friend somewhere else in the room, leaving me scrambling to find someone else, as everyone else had found a partner within 2 seconds. I don't think I smelled or anything.  I thought, good grief, grow up already, expand your horizons a little, this is adults learning a new skill related to their profession, not a bunch of teenagers in high school who have to hang out with their friends.