Author Topic: When people disipline your pets.  (Read 8214 times)

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MOM21SON

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When people disipline your pets.
« on: January 03, 2014, 08:50:05 PM »
What do you say or do when someone yells at your pet?

We have a cat, a very curious cat.  He is a rescue and we love him.  We adopted him a year ago this month and he was estimated to be about 4 weeks old.  He now is a large cat, about 10lbs.

He loves counter tops and the table.  When we are home we can easily redirect and do.

New Years Day we had a couple over that we have been friends with for 20 plus years.  Cat, jumped on the back of the chair and started sniffing the edge of the counter.  I said, "no no" and clapped my hands, he jumped down.  Well, cat did it again and both the wife and husband screamed at my cat!  "DON'T YOU DARE."  I then settled cat on the back porch.

Today my neighbor came over for help with her new phone.  DS and I had just got back from the store and the kitchen table was full of plastic grocery bags.  Neighbor and I were sitting on the couch talking and fiddling with the phone.  The table is in view.  All of a sudden Neighbor screamed, "DON'T YOU DARE JUMP ON THAT TABLE!"    I looked up and he was only sniffing the bags.  I went and picked him up, kissed him and set him down.

I don't yell at their pets when I visit.  Every response that I come up with has me yelling at them.

How do others handle it?






NyaChan

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2014, 08:52:15 PM »
"Please don't yell at my cat."  "She's fine.  No need to yell."  "I've got this, thanks."

That's what I've used in the past, but I've never come across someone who kept doing it, so I don't know how I'd handle a person who wouldn't figure it out after that.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2014, 09:15:13 PM »
I have this issue with my dad, who has always equated being stern with shouting.  He will bellow at my dogs to "sit" or whatever and they're bewildered and afraid of this man who is bellowing at them for no reason they can fathom.  I try to tell him he doesn't need to yell, in fact he doesn't need to speak at all because they are all trained to hand signals, but he insists he's just "being firm".
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SiotehCat

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2014, 09:39:15 PM »
I think you can ask people to please not yell at your cat.

For me, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the rest of my evening if one of my guests yelled at my cat. If be very angry.

PastryGoddess

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2014, 10:10:51 PM »
I think it's bizzare.  I mean my cats listen to the people in this household because they know us.  I can't even imagine that they would listen to a strange person yelling at them. 

I think the time to address is at the time of the incident or if you invite those people over again, before they can yell at your cat. 

edgypeanuts

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2014, 10:12:26 PM »
If people have heard you correct him for being on the counter, they may think they are helping.  I still wouldn't like it.  I would just interrupt and say "don't yell, it scares him" or "don't yell at him, I want him to like new people."

In my case, "Don't confuse him, he IS allowed up there!"  My cats are allowed on the table and counter, just not by the stove where I cook, so I would really not allow anyone to confuse them when they know where they are allowed and not.  But as one of my cats greets people by standing on the island when people come in the door, they generally know that it is allowed in my house.

If anyone persisted in scaring or yelling at my animals, I would remove the animal from the situation or ask the person to stop or leave.  It is my job to protect them.  That said, sometimes my pets are happier up in the bedroom where they can relax and not worry about people in the house.

(you didn't ask, but if you do want to train your guy off the counters- get him a high place where he is allowed to be (a cat tree or table that he is allowed to be on) and then try a boobytrap on the counters where you don't want him.  Empty soda cans with pennies in them on top of a sheet of tinfoil works great.  When they jump up, they disturb the foil and send the popcans flying.  It is loud but won't hurt them if it lands on them.  Works best if they are jumping up, less if they are able to step up from a stool or chair.)

purple

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2014, 10:22:28 PM »
I think you would be ok to address the issue immediately and directly - "Please do not yell at my cat".

I would be (and have been) livid when visitors in my house decide to discipline my dog/s.

Certain people have been not invited back because I didn't like the way they treated my dog and/or my dog didn't like them.

I even once asked somebody to leave because they yelled at my dog, I asked them not to do it then they yelled at him again a little while later and even lifted their hand as if they were about to strike him!  Friendship over.

doodlemor

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2014, 11:28:13 PM »

If anyone persisted in scaring or yelling at my animals, I would remove the animal from the situation or ask the person to stop or leave.  It is my job to protect them.  That said, sometimes my pets are happier up in the bedroom where they can relax and not worry about people in the house.

(you didn't ask, but if you do want to train your guy off the counters- get him a high place where he is allowed to be (a cat tree or table that he is allowed to be on) and then try a boobytrap on the counters where you don't want him.  Empty soda cans with pennies in them on top of a sheet of tinfoil works great.  When they jump up, they disturb the foil and send the popcans flying.  It is loud but won't hurt them if it lands on them.  Works best if they are jumping up, less if they are able to step up from a stool or chair.)

Brilliant idea to keep the cats off the counter.  Must try that for my newbie, misGretademeanor.

I think you would be ok to address the issue immediately and directly - "Please do not yell at my cat".

I would be (and have been) livid when visitors in my house decide to discipline my dog/s.

Certain people have been not invited back because I didn't like the way they treated my dog and/or my dog didn't like them.

I even once asked somebody to leave because they yelled at my dog, I asked them not to do it then they yelled at him again a little while later and even lifted their hand as if they were about to strike him!  Friendship over.

I agree.  If someone actually lifted their hand to one of my pets, that would be the close of the friendship.

I read somewhere on an old thread about a doofus/creep at a party who thought it would be funny to put the hostess' kitten in the microwave.  [He later claimed that he was only teasing, and wouldn't have turned it on.]  Anyway..... he was surprised to be grabbed by a 100 or less pound enraged woman and literally thrown out the door.  That was also the end of the friendship, or acquaintanceship.


EllenS

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2014, 11:43:44 PM »
I would actually wonder about the mental health of anyone who yelled at a cat as a means of behavior modification.  Of the cats I know, that would be about as effective as yelling at the wind.

I don't have pets, but anyone who yelled at an occupant of my house, short of "dear Diety, your hair is on fire", would not be asked back.

"Please don't yell, there is no need."

Bluenomi

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2014, 01:57:43 AM »
Unless the cat doing something really bad (say about to pull a roast chicken off the dinner table) and the owner is out if the room, I wouldn't yell set someone else's pet. Even then I'd be more likely to shoo them or pick them up, not yell.

aussie_chick

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2014, 05:51:06 AM »
Good ideas from other posters already. I think dealing with it at the time with "please don't yell at my cat" or some variation that sounds normal to you is good.

One of my friends tapped my cat on the nose once. She climbed up onto the back of the couch and was sniffing his head. I didn't know he didn't like cats. I thought it was cute that she was trying to smooch him. Anyway he kept shaking his hand in front of her which made her try and play so she grabbed his hand with her paws. He tapped her on the nose and said "No!"

I was horrified. I said "don't hit her" and I got up, grabbed kitty, gave her a cuddle and put her on the couch next to me. He left after that and has not been back.

Cherry91

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2014, 06:49:42 AM »
The first time they yelled at MY kitty, those guests would have gotten a stern "Please don't yell at him, all you're going to do is frighten him!"

If you've been friends with these people for 20 years, OP, I think you should be able to have a quick word with them. Maybe next time you invite them over, mention it as an FYI? "Just so you know, kitty can get a bit skittish and doesn't respond well to loud sudden noises. If you see them misbehaving, please let me know and I'll deal with it."

Lady Snowdon

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2014, 07:05:23 AM »
I think it depends.  Obviously these folks went about it wrong.  Screaming at a pet is not the answer (except that my cousin's 6 year old daughter somehow makes it work).  However, there are many pets which I am allowed, and even expected, to discipline while in their homes.  My friends, my parents, my grandparents, have all let me know what voice commands to use on their pets, so there's an expectation that I'll be able to discipline the pet if necessary.  It takes me a second for my friend's dog, as she uses the exact opposite commands that I do (For me, get down means "stop jumping on that person/counter" and get off means "get off that piece of furniture".  She reverses them.) 

Snooks

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2014, 08:05:19 AM »
I've probably been guilty of this. I was eating dinner at my friend's house and was the only person who could see the dog getting up on his back legs to investigate the food on the stove top. I said "Fido, no!" but I did immediately apologise to my friends.

As for my cats my usual tactic is to say to anyone bothering them "Just leave them be. They're ok". Unless they've harmed your animal (using whatever definition of harm you want to) I don't think it's an offence which should get someone banned from your house the first time they do it.

MrTango

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Re: When people disipline your pets.
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2014, 09:16:40 AM »
I think that unless your pet is doing something directly to the person in question, it's fine to tell them that it's not okay to yell at your pet.

If your pet is actively doing something to them (marking territory, scratching/clawing, mounting, biting/nipping), then they're going to react however they react, and I don't think yelling is inappropriate in that sort of situation.