Author Topic: The Facebook Over-Poster  (Read 3466 times)

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mbbored

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The Facebook Over-Poster
« on: January 07, 2014, 05:18:01 PM »
I love Facebook as it's a great way to stay in touch with friends and family and am often on there several times a day. However, I have a few people who seem to live on there and can post dozens of links every day or updates of every bite they eat/song they hear/step they take, so that my entire news feed becomes just a list of their postings. In order to save my sanity, I simply hid their notifications from appearing in my feed. Simple enough, right?

Well, I got caught. One of these people is a woman in my study group who posts nothing but tangentially related articles all day long. A few weeks ago we were hanging out and she kept mentioning these articles and asking me if I read this one or that one, and I truthfully said I hadn't gotten around to it, hadn't seen it in my feed, don't have time to read everything that comes across my computer, etc.  Eventually she said, "You don't seem to see anything I post!" and I demurred saying Facebook sometimes favors certain feeds over another. Apparently, it's incredibly important to her that I read these articles so now she tags me in every.single.one of them, so that at least once an hour I get a notification that I've been tagged in a post. I largely ignore these too, but once again my news feed is entirely her articles, which I'm not interested in or have already read.

How do I make this stop without hurting the feelings of a friend and colleague?

TurtleDove

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 05:22:02 PM »
How do I make this stop without hurting the feelings of a friend and colleague?

I don't think you can both make it stop and ensure this person's feelings are not hurt.  I think you need to decide which is more important to you: not getting the tags, or not having the friend's feelings hurt.

If it were me, I would ask her to not tag me.  Her feelings will be hurt, but IMHO it will not be YOU who has hurt them.  An adult will get over the "hurt" and recognize you just are not interested in the articles.  It isn't personal. 

Kaypeep

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 07:34:02 PM »
Send her a PM or email and ask her to stop tagging you in these articles because it's cluttering up the feed on your own page.  If she doesn't stop, then unfriend her and tell her to contact your via email only with regards to study group business (if you even want that.)  Don't worry about hurting her feelings.  You took the correct steps to be polite but now she's being deliberately pushy and it's offensive.  She's in the wrong here, not you.

blarg314

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 07:53:06 PM »

Sometimes it's impossible to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who just doesn't get it.

She's had multiple opportunities to figure out that you're simply not interested in these articles - she posts links to hundreds of them, bugged you about it in person repeatedly, and you haven't read them.

You can tell her outright that you're not interested, you can defriend her completely, or you can put up with it, and anything other than the last is likely to hurt her feelings. But you've given her lots of chances to back off without hurt feelings, and she refuses to take it.

Fourth option - read an article, and object vehemently to everything in it she next asks - it was badly written, full of illogic and mis-information, the graphics were terrible and used without attribution....  >:D

MrTango

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2014, 08:03:10 PM »
Send her a PM or email and ask her to stop tagging you in these articles because it's cluttering up the feed on your own page.  If she doesn't stop, then unfriend her and tell her to contact your via email only with regards to study group business (if you even want that.)  Don't worry about hurting her feelings.  You took the correct steps to be polite but now she's being deliberately pushy and it's offensive.  She's in the wrong here, not you.

Agreed.  I looked around for a way to stop people from tagging you in things, and all I could find was a setting that doesn't let tags appear on your timeline unless you approve them (it's under the privacy settings).

You could try adding her to your "restricted" list to see if that stops her from being able to tag you, but I'm not sure if that'll work.  If it doesn't, I'd unfriend and block her.  The next time she bothers you about whether you read her stuff, go ahead and tell her that you aren't interested in the articles she's been posting and that you don't appreciate being spammed with tags.

Luci

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2014, 08:36:57 PM »
Time out, please. When I get shared articles and utubes from anyone, it shows up on my news feed without my being tagged. The only time I am tagged is in a photo. So, what does this "tagged" you are speaking of mean?

mbbored: I just skim past all that stuff, and if questioned, tell the Friend that I am busy and looking for personal posts by you. One person asks why I don't "Like" some of her posts and I tell her I have to really, really like something to do that. (She posts several times a day about a sports team - I hate sports - and the political party we ascribe to, and even some of that is so far out that it is offensive even to me.)

We use Facebook to see what others are up to and share our adventures and that's what I look for from others. Except, of course, from family in Hawaii posting pictures of turtles and the surfing they do. It's 0 degrees here after snow and ice storms. Rub salt into the wound much, Friends?  :) 

Yvaine

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2014, 08:44:24 PM »
Time out, please. When I get shared articles and utubes from anyone, it shows up on my news feed without my being tagged. The only time I am tagged is in a photo. So, what does this "tagged" you are speaking of mean?

It means the friend is attaching the OP's name to each of these articles so that they (a) appear on her Wall instead of just her newsfeed and (b) send her an email each time one is posted.

crella

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2014, 08:53:55 PM »
I have people who post multiple posts about the same issued (they each have an issue they care deeply about). I 'hide' some, but just generally scroll by. I would not like the tagging, I have asked everyone on my list to please not tag me. Could you say that getting all the notifications clogs your inbox? Tagging leaves your page open to be seen by their entire Friend list as well, if I am not mistaken (and if FB hasn't changed things again  :D) so that's another objection that could be raised.

Luci

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2014, 10:11:53 PM »
Time out, please. When I get shared articles and utubes from anyone, it shows up on my news feed without my being tagged. The only time I am tagged is in a photo. So, what does this "tagged" you are speaking of mean?

It means the friend is attaching the OP's name to each of these articles so that they (a) appear on her Wall instead of just her newsfeed and (b) send her an email each time one is posted.

Thanks! What an intrusion! I have hidden and unfriended people for less than that!

Joeschmo

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2014, 10:30:16 PM »
I just went to double check and Facebook has an option where you have to approve tags before they show up on your wall.  You would still have notifications or emails to deal with but it wouldn't clutter up your wall.

Yvaine

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2014, 10:44:34 PM »
I just went to double check and Facebook has an option where you have to approve tags before they show up on your wall.  You would still have notifications or emails to deal with but it wouldn't clutter up your wall.

Yeah, I have this. I do still get the emails but it's a lifesaver for my Wall sometimes.

Ceallach

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2014, 06:04:32 PM »
I think what she is doing is incredibly rude, she's basically spamming you by actually tagging you in all of the posts.  I would politely ask her if she could cut it down a bit.    It means that everything she posts also comes up on YOUR friend's walls, because they see that you (their friend) has been tagged.   So she's spamming your entire friends list in a way.   

Once an hour is excessive.  Once a day would be excessive!
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Ceallach

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2014, 06:06:12 PM »
Also just to add - this isn't about her being an over poster, you already handled that appropriately by hiding her notifications.  People can post how much they want but they need to accept that others may not want to read it.   I used to be very sparing in what I posted as I was afraid of being an over-poster and annoying people, but then I realised I could just do whatever I wanted and it was up to my friends to hide it if they weren't interested in seeing what I put up.  I post for me, not for them.   

But what she is doing is completely different.  She is actively pulling you into each of her posts, and it's rude IMHO.
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JenJay

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2014, 07:03:33 PM »
I would say "Friend , I don't have time to read every article that you post. Please stop tagging me. When you do that it clogs up my notifications and I miss when other people have posted to me."

purple

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Re: The Facebook Over-Poster
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2014, 11:09:41 PM »
I would say "Friend , I don't have time to read every article that you post. Please stop tagging me. When you do that it clogs up my notifications and I miss when other people have posted to me."

Yes, this is what I'd do, since she has already started the face-to-face conversation about this.
As a follow-up, if she doesn't stop, then unfriend her.