General Etiquette > Techno-quette

The Facebook Over-Poster

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mbbored:
I love Facebook as it's a great way to stay in touch with friends and family and am often on there several times a day. However, I have a few people who seem to live on there and can post dozens of links every day or updates of every bite they eat/song they hear/step they take, so that my entire news feed becomes just a list of their postings. In order to save my sanity, I simply hid their notifications from appearing in my feed. Simple enough, right?

Well, I got caught. One of these people is a woman in my study group who posts nothing but tangentially related articles all day long. A few weeks ago we were hanging out and she kept mentioning these articles and asking me if I read this one or that one, and I truthfully said I hadn't gotten around to it, hadn't seen it in my feed, don't have time to read everything that comes across my computer, etc.  Eventually she said, "You don't seem to see anything I post!" and I demurred saying Facebook sometimes favors certain feeds over another. Apparently, it's incredibly important to her that I read these articles so now she tags me in every.single.one of them, so that at least once an hour I get a notification that I've been tagged in a post. I largely ignore these too, but once again my news feed is entirely her articles, which I'm not interested in or have already read.

How do I make this stop without hurting the feelings of a friend and colleague?

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: mbbored on January 07, 2014, 05:18:01 PM ---How do I make this stop without hurting the feelings of a friend and colleague?

--- End quote ---

I don't think you can both make it stop and ensure this person's feelings are not hurt.  I think you need to decide which is more important to you: not getting the tags, or not having the friend's feelings hurt.

If it were me, I would ask her to not tag me.  Her feelings will be hurt, but IMHO it will not be YOU who has hurt them.  An adult will get over the "hurt" and recognize you just are not interested in the articles.  It isn't personal. 

Kaypeep:
Send her a PM or email and ask her to stop tagging you in these articles because it's cluttering up the feed on your own page.  If she doesn't stop, then unfriend her and tell her to contact your via email only with regards to study group business (if you even want that.)  Don't worry about hurting her feelings.  You took the correct steps to be polite but now she's being deliberately pushy and it's offensive.  She's in the wrong here, not you.

blarg314:

Sometimes it's impossible to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who just doesn't get it.

She's had multiple opportunities to figure out that you're simply not interested in these articles - she posts links to hundreds of them, bugged you about it in person repeatedly, and you haven't read them.

You can tell her outright that you're not interested, you can defriend her completely, or you can put up with it, and anything other than the last is likely to hurt her feelings. But you've given her lots of chances to back off without hurt feelings, and she refuses to take it.

Fourth option - read an article, and object vehemently to everything in it she next asks - it was badly written, full of illogic and mis-information, the graphics were terrible and used without attribution....  >:D

MrTango:

--- Quote from: Kaypeep on January 07, 2014, 07:34:02 PM ---Send her a PM or email and ask her to stop tagging you in these articles because it's cluttering up the feed on your own page.  If she doesn't stop, then unfriend her and tell her to contact your via email only with regards to study group business (if you even want that.)  Don't worry about hurting her feelings.  You took the correct steps to be polite but now she's being deliberately pushy and it's offensive.  She's in the wrong here, not you.

--- End quote ---

Agreed.  I looked around for a way to stop people from tagging you in things, and all I could find was a setting that doesn't let tags appear on your timeline unless you approve them (it's under the privacy settings).

You could try adding her to your "restricted" list to see if that stops her from being able to tag you, but I'm not sure if that'll work.  If it doesn't, I'd unfriend and block her.  The next time she bothers you about whether you read her stuff, go ahead and tell her that you aren't interested in the articles she's been posting and that you don't appreciate being spammed with tags.

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