Author Topic: Giving son's friend a ride to school  (Read 5854 times)

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metallicafan

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Giving son's friend a ride to school
« on: January 09, 2014, 10:34:55 AM »
It has been positively frigid here in the midwest, so when my kids finally went back to school I've driven them the past couple of days instead of them taking the bus like they normally do.  Older son's friend usually takes the bus with them most of the time.  Backing out of the driveway this morning, I noticed Friend still waiting on the corner.  I was really tempted to tell him to get in the car, I'll take him too.   I didn't because I wasn't sure if it is the right thing to do, give a child a ride without the parents permission first.  What do you all think?   Should I call the mom and ask her if it would be alright if I gave Friend a ride any time the weather is bad and I'm driving my kids?

☆Friend doesn't take the bus every day, I am assuming that he is being driven the other days, if that makes any difference.

lowspark

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2014, 10:38:38 AM »
I would have given the poor kid a ride without even thinking twice about it.

lkdrymom

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2014, 10:40:38 AM »
I think it depends on his age. If he was in high school I would not think twice about stopping and offering.

Lynn2000

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2014, 10:42:44 AM »
How old are the kids? A teenager I would assume to be autonomous and confident enough to make the decision on his own. A 7-year-old, not so much.

And how close to the house was Friend standing? That is, could he have reliably run back inside to ask his mom real quick, then jumped into your car without delaying anyone too much? Or could you have pulled up next to him and quickly called his mom yourself? I hate the thought of a kid standing out in the weather we've been having lately. ::shudder::

I think, after the fact, you could definitely call his mom and ask for a standing agreement. Though, even with the agreement in place I would still call or text his mom real quick as you're getting ready to leave the house each time you intend to pick him up, just so there's no chance of the kid falling through the cracks because his mom thought the weather was "bad" and you didn't.
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bah12

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2014, 10:47:03 AM »
Besides the age...do you know the child?  His parents? I think this matters more.  I have some relationships with other children where I know that if I saw them standing in the cold, I'd give them a ride without checking with their parents.  But the child knows me and their parents know me.  We have a familial enough relationship that everyone would be comfortable.  But others, not so much. I know growing up my mom had a very short list of people who's car I could get into without her first giving me explicit permission, and I imagine that parents are much stricter about it today. I know I will be when DD is older and may be offered rides from other people.

metallicafan

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2014, 10:47:16 AM »
Friend and my older son are 10.

I know the child pretty well, he has come over to our house many times.  I don't know the parents real well, there is somewhat of a language barrier. 
« Last Edit: January 09, 2014, 10:51:59 AM by metallicafan »

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2014, 10:51:16 AM »
Does he have a mobile phone? I think I would be inclined to ask permission first, yes, but then could he call into the house and say 'I'm with Metallicafan' any day you do pick him up, just so that his mother isn't left thinking 'well, did he get on the bus or didn't he?'

Thipu1

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2014, 10:59:45 AM »
Given the recent weather conditions, I wouldn't hesitate to offer a ride to a child of ten, who was a friend of my son, a ride to school. 

You aren't a random stranger.  You may not know his parents all that well but the child knows you and your son.  He probably feels comfortable with you. 

There maybe a language problem with the parents but the child can probably explain things.


MrsJWine

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2014, 11:03:53 AM »
Given that you're not a stranger, and that you had your kid with you, I think it would be fine to offer a ride. I would have no problem if I were the other kid's parent.


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m2kbug

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2014, 11:43:17 AM »
Call the mom and offer. You shouldn't be putting kids in the car without permission.  Some of this would depend on the age.  With a teen or older child, they can be better equipped to accept or decline, but really nobody should be getting in the car with strangers or putting kids in the car without permission.  If you're not that well connected with the parents or child that plopping the kid in the car would be automatically okay, you should call first.  The parents can then let the friend know it's okay to go to school with Metalicafan.  I have offered.  The most recent offer was accepted at Junior high orientation.  The parents dropped the kids off to do their thing, and since I was there and the boys lived in the same neighborhood, I offered to cover the drive home.  They called home and asked permission.  I would  appreciate you covering the driving if it were my child, but touch base. 

rose red

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2014, 12:50:39 PM »
I would have asked the kid to get in the car and then called his parents.  If there is a language barrier, the kid can talk to them.

oopsie

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2014, 01:01:18 PM »
Be on the safe side and check with his parents first.

I'm not a helicopter parent and I genuinely don't consider myself at all strict about most things, however, I have told my kids (13 & 8yrs) never to get in a vehicle with anyone (even people they know, even family - FIL drinks and drives every day) without me or DH knowing about it first.

Good intentions aside, I would be very upset if I thought my child was taking the bus to school only to find out that a neighbour or their friend's parent drove them without my knowledge/consent.

snappylt

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2014, 01:01:35 PM »
I'm guessing the people who have responded above all probably all mothers.

I am a father.  Sadly, I would not give a neighbor child a ride home without his parent's permission. (I sure would loan a neighbor child my cell phone so he could call for permission, though, if it was bad weather.)

There were several kids in our neighborhood when my boys were younger who had standing permission to ride with me or my wife, and my kids had permission to ride with their dads and moms.  It was nice to have that agreed in advance.

SCMagnolia

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2014, 01:03:10 PM »
I would be careful about this, especially if you do not know the child's parents very well.  If you give him a ride to school and were (God forbid) in an accident and the child was injured, that could set you up for a world of legal problems that you do not want.

I understand with the bitter cold weather most of the country had this week that it's difficult to let your child's friend stand outside to wait for the bus, but that falls under his parents' responsibility, not yours. 

JenJay

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Re: Giving son's friend a ride to school
« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2014, 01:08:11 PM »
When that's happened to me I've asked my child "Should we offer a ride?" when I was taking them to the bus stop, or asked if the kiddo wants to wait in our car until the bus comes. I'd never take a child to school without letting the parent know. What if he/she looked out or drove by and noticed the child wasn't at the stop? Terrifying! I would call now though, and see if it would be okay in the future.