I am so sorry for you loss.
I disagree with HogwartsAlum (love the name) in that I think he should be called out on his behavior, when you can handle it. I do think it best to deal with it via HR, as his conduct was completely unprofessional not to mention unspeakably rude.
If you are 100% against going to HR, perhaps a short email (to avoid the face-to-face thing, as it could just add stress to your life). Something simple, such as
I left work for a family emergency last week, and encountered a message from you regarding X. X is not an emergency, and could have been handled by person Q, or could have been addressed upon my return. In the future, please have [insert boss's name here] contact me at home only for true emergencies.
I so hope that this guy doesnt make your life any more difficult right now.