Something happened this weekend which I'd appreciate Ehellions views on: I'm not sure that I reacted particulalrly well, but I'm also not sure what else I should have done
. By way of background, I have a very close relationship
with both of my parents, and visit them at least a couple of times a month, sometimes every weekend.
This weekend I went to see them, and we were discussing a political hot topic (I will say what if asked, but I don't think it's necessarily relevant). We generally have similar political outlooks so it wasn't an argument waiting to happen. In the course of discussion I noticed that my dad had gone quiet and wasn't engaging anymore, so I asked him if I'd upset him. He said yes, and that something I'd said in the course of the discussion (again I am happy to say what, but am not sure its relevant to the question - the point is, I upset him) had upset him. I immediately apologised and said I had meant nothing at all by my comment, certainly not directed at him, and that I was really very sorry. He just nodded and still wouldn't talk to me. Mum and I carried on talking abut something else for another 15 minutes or so, then mum got up to do something in the other room. I then tried to apologise to dad again, and he just told me he was shocked that I'd said what I had, and went back to ignoring me.
Now, I'm 34 (nearly!) and this has never happened before (sure I've had arguments with my parents over the years, but nothing to the extent that they've stopped speaking to me, even temporarily. We are very very close.). I didn't know what to do and was absolutely horrified that I'd upset my dad so badly (unintentionally, but still).
This is where I'm not sure I behaved so well - I then got up from the room I was in and went to find mum - and promptly burst into tears
, and asked if I should go home as I didn't know what to do. Mum gave me a big hug and then went to dad and said I was going home, and he came to the other room immediately and said he didn't want me to go. I then tried to calm down and then stayed for the rest of the day - dad was subdued, but then at least still talking to me.
My question is therefore whether I was wrong in suggesting I leave/showing the emotion I felt (I don't normally react like that - crying for me is a big deal) because looking back on it, I'm not sure that it might have been perceived as 'upping the ante'/'if you don't do want I want I'm taking my ball and going home', so dad was forced into backing down. It wasn't meant that way at all - i just thought I should go if I'd so badly offended - but with hindsight I'm now concerned I've made things worse
Would I have been better to try not to react and stay and hope that dad came round of his own accord, or should I have accepted the non-acceptance of my apology and left immediately? Any advice? Thanks in advance!