Okay, I'm pretty sure my boss is bipolar. We've been struggling all day with difficult issues we're not trained on and it's been stressful for everyone. Not the best day to give her bad news. But what else can ya do? So I pulled up my big girl underpants and marched in there with a copy of my letter and said,.
"I have this for you." That's a lame way to phrase it but I couldn't think of anything better / more professional.
She read it and replied, "Awwww! We'll miss you! Did you find something better?"
Me: "Yes. I'll be working for my father-in-law and he's offered me more money than what I make here."
(Sidenote - I make the same hourly wage today that I made when I started at our company on Jan 2013).
Boss: "Well then I'm happy for you! We'll miss you around here."
It was awkward and unexpected but it was absolutely the best possible outcome. Maybe not ehell-worthy (no one had to call the cops) but I'm just relieved its over with and VERY grateful to all of you for helping me with this.