Author Topic: And another request: "3rd" child moving in  (Read 7380 times)

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bopper

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #45 on: January 15, 2014, 09:53:13 AM »
and as always..."Begin as you mean to go on."

TootsNYC

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #46 on: January 15, 2014, 11:50:22 AM »
I'm so happy about the update. I'm sure you two will have a couple of bumps here and there like anyone living together, but it sounds like it might be fun to have a roomy for a little while.

I'm w/ Hmmmmm. I think it might be really nice.

Be open communicators;
Brings things up earlier rather than letting them fester;
Be willing to second-guess yourself and your expectations (I think saying "never have anyone over" is hard on her, for example);
Recognize what is a whim of yours (always push the chairs in at the table, maybe) and not "something every reasonable person should know!"--you're absolutely entitled to ask her to honor those whims, but -recognizing- it's a whim will help you get the tone right.

Play a game of Bananagrams or something now and then--create some fun times you two spend together; and maybe do some chores together instead of alone--it'll help you both weather any of the difficulties that will arise.

Have fun! What a nice beginning. And how neat that you sound so fond already of her pets.

jaxsue

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #47 on: January 15, 2014, 01:17:58 PM »
Oh, I forgot to mention, she brought her own laundry detergent, etc. She said she forgot toilet paper, and I told her not to worry about it. She is 27, so I am confident that she will be responsible for her own up keep, and she is a cleaning fanatic, so win win for me!  ;D

With that update, I'd feel okay about doing this. You know a lot more about her than we do. Trust your gut. And having reread your OP, you weren't asking if you should do it, but how you should go about it. Sorry if some of us misunderstood that (myself included).
« Last Edit: January 15, 2014, 01:31:14 PM by jaxsue »

peaches

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #48 on: January 15, 2014, 01:59:29 PM »
Oh, I forgot to mention, she brought her own laundry detergent, etc. She said she forgot toilet paper, and I told her not to worry about it. She is 27, so I am confident that she will be responsible for her own up keep, and she is a cleaning fanatic, so win win for me!  ;D

With that update, I'd feel okay about doing this. You know a lot more about her than we do. Trust your gut. And having reread your OP, you weren't asking if you should do it, but how you should go about it. Sorry if some of us misunderstood that (myself included).

I feel the same way. You wanted to do this, and it sounds like it will be a positive experience for you both.

I hope you continue to enjoy each other's company.

Best wishes!

gramma dishes

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #49 on: January 15, 2014, 02:24:44 PM »
Add me to the list of those who were concerned about your doing this but are now happily willing to change our position. 

It sounds like the two of you are off to a good start and I sincerely hope her stay in your home will prove to be a pleasurable experience for both you and your '3rd child' and the animals involved. 

Amara

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #50 on: January 15, 2014, 03:29:53 PM »
Wonderful news, OP! I am so happy for both of you.

hannahmollysmom

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #51 on: January 16, 2014, 02:19:13 AM »
Thanks everyone for making me feel like I did the right thing.

As far as not having anyone over, I meant that I don't want anyone overnight. Her room is right next to mine, if you know what I mean...being that she is like a daughter, I don't want to hear "scrabble" sessions. But she is 27, (I'm 54) so I'm sure she will honor my requests.

She went to my daughter's today to watch my granddaughter for a bit. She took her dog and cats! I will talk to her and let her know she doesn't have to take the animals. They don't bother me. (and I'm sure the 2 cats weren't thrilled either!!) She left before I got up (I work 4pm to midnight) and was asleep when I got home, so I will talk to her tomorrow. (and I didn't hear a thing when she got up, so she is considerate, noise wise.)

She basically grew up having to walk on egg shells with her parents, and I don't want her to feel like that here. I want her to feel at home, and I have no worries she will take advantage.

Actually, it is kind of nice having someone else here. I admit, while I like living alone, I do get lonely for company at times, especially on my days off.

cicero

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #52 on: January 16, 2014, 02:58:24 AM »
thanks for a lovely update. I think that, like other PPs, i wasn't totally *against* this move, just wanted to make sure you were CYA.

I guess i watch too many Judge Judy cases...

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sweetonsno

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #53 on: January 16, 2014, 02:59:14 AM »
You update warmed my heart.  :)

I'm sure she'll be glad to know that you don't mind her fur babies.

As someone who has rented a room, I know it can feel a bit awkward to worry that you're underfoot, so if you want company, you should perhaps invite her to join you for tea or something.

TootsNYC

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #54 on: January 16, 2014, 01:37:16 PM »
If I were going to get a couple of nice cats and a well-behaved dog as temporary lodgers, I'd be a little annoyed if they were always being taken away from me! I mean, she can take 'em to show 'em off, and they are her pets for her companionship, but I'd consider temporary pet-ness as one of my rewards!

hannahmollysmom

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #55 on: January 16, 2014, 11:31:58 PM »
Turns out she never took the animals with her, they are just so well behaved, they hung out in her room waiting for her to return. I never heard a peep or saw them, so thought they were gone!

I got home from work tonight, and she had messaged me that she was at a friends house and would be home at a certain time. If the time was too late, to let her know and she would be home earlier. She is 27, I told her she was free to come and go as she pleased, as she is quiet and considerate.

I think this will work out well.



JenJay

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #56 on: January 16, 2014, 11:40:53 PM »
If you find yourself in the mood to hang out with someone in the 10-13 range I'll gladly trade you roomies for a bit!  ;D

Seriously though, she sounds like a wonderful person. You're both lucky to have each other!

johelenc1

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Re: And another request: "3rd" child moving in
« Reply #57 on: January 17, 2014, 02:38:40 AM »
I was going to say that I didn't see any reason why you shouldn't do this.  My sister has one of those best friends.  I used to call her my other little sister.  If something happened and she needed a place to stay, I would let her move in in a heart beat.  So would either of my parents.  Her parents would do the same for my sister.

This is someone I've known nearly all my life.  Sure, we would have all the necessary talks and lay out the boundaries, but if something came up we would deal with it like adults, actually, like sisters, who love and respect each other. 

I think this will be fine for you OP.  I'm sure she is very grateful and I hope she is able to get on her feet and move forward in life.