I also don't see why you're intent on talking to him in person.
Mostly because he doesn't use email or text or IM, and while I have told him I am not interested in him romantically, I have not told him (yet) to stop calling me and he would have every reason to think that I am still happy to hang out with him, in spite of not wanting a relationship
(in his mind, "yet."). I've told him I don't want a relationship
and up to now I've thought that occasionally hanging out was OK. But it dawned on me that just hanging out as friends wasn't going to work for him (or me), which was what prompted me to make my first post. I can either listen to my phone ring a zillion times and ignore and ignore, and wonder if he's going to show up, or I can have the conversation in which I tell him that not only do I not want a relationship
, but I also want to end the "hanging out as friends." I feel that is only fair too, as how would he know I don't want to hang out as friends anymore unless I tell him? So I think I'm obligated to have a voice conversation about it, or listen to umpteen voice messages until he gives up.
It probably was not him knocking on the door, but my state of high alert and discomfort at the knock is testament to how he is making me feel. I agree we are moving out of etiquette territory and I've had some good advice here on how to handle that conversation when it occurs (which it would have, already, if he hadn't gone out of town).