My friend has been seeing someone for a couple months. They seem very happy but are taking it pretty slow. I will call him Joe. Joe has said he's not really seeing anyone else else but Sally, Sally has gone on a few casual dates but keeps going back to Joe. Joe is always inviting Sally over and being very attentive towards her. So she has been feeling like something is developing.
Sally has a good friend name Jamie who works with Joe's best friend Steve. One day Steve and Jamie were chatting about something and Steve says "Oh I need to invite Joe over for movie night, he has this girl he is dating named Amy I would like to meet her" Jamie was VERY surprised... what about Sally? Jamie tells Sally this information and then later Steve says he may have misspoke and tries to backtrack.
So now Sally is at a loss. Is there an etiquette friendly way to ask if he is getting serious with someone else and maybe she needs to back off?
The bolding is mine. According to Sally, is this how he said it? Maybe not "really" seeing anyone else meant to him, at the time that he said it, that he wasn't having multiple dates with any other women. So maybe he'd go on one date with one and another date with another, but never saw anyone a second time. And then after he made that comment to Sally, he then did find someone he wanted to go on two or three dates with.
And you said that Sally has gone on a few other casual dates. So does Sally have a double standard? Or is she fair and ok with Joe seeing other people casually, but put off by the fact that he seems to have lied to her?
If I were in her shoes, and my main issue were with the fact that Joe could possibly be a liar, I would say to him "You told me you weren't seeing anyone else. Then, I heard through the grapevine that you are seeing someone else. I'm ok with you seeing other people at this early point in our dating
,, but I wondered why you specifically told me you weren't seeing anyone else. Was the grapevine incorrect, or what's the deal?"
Or, I just wouldn't say anything at all. I'd keep casually dating
him and in time I would find out if he lies about other things or not.
I don't think she should ask if he is getting serious with someone else, because if he were, she'd know it because he'd have less time for her.