I love my "Aunt Felicity." I do. But she's an abominable guest.
I suspect that there are some folk (not, overall, by any means bad people) who are just daft in the particular way described by OP -- and have a complete blind spot re this deficiency in their behaviour. It does make them horrible guests.
I live on the top floor of a Victorian. It's chilly. I sent her to bed with blankets, flannel jammies, and a hot water bottle and showed her to the linen closet if she needed more blankets. I was quite plain that she could help herself. She was cold the first night because, apparently, she couldn't bring herself to walk to the linen closet. She complained all week that she'd been cold that first night!
This episode especially, reminds me irresistibly of a member of our family, now deceased. He was well known in the family as socially awkward, with a strong "curmudgeon" tendency. He was often rude, abrupt, ungracious, and with an abrasive tongue; and a propensity for dwelling on his discomforts with life's inconveniences. In a crisis, though, he was unstinting with practical kindness and help to others.
He was staying, some years ago, with relatives one generation younger. The first evening, they showed him to his bedroom; the wife explained where in the room there were extra blankets, if he didn't feel warm enough. Next morning, when his hosts asked him if he'd slept well, the conversation went as follows:
"No, I didn't ! I was cold -- I got a couple of hours' sleep, at most."
"Well, we did show you where there were extra blankets."
"Oh, I can't be bothered fooling around with nonsense like that !"
After this, and a good deal other highly ungracious stuff on his part throughout his sojourn; the wife of the couple (and she is the very soul of kindness) is on record as saying that there was no way she would have that old [non-eHell-approved word] to stay again.
IMO, it would rather seem that this is how some people are; and, certainly once they are well on in years, there is no chance of "retraining" them, or of their seeing what they are doing wrong. Likely, those who know them just have to put up with this aspect of them, as best possible -- or else, not.