Author Topic: Who gets invited to rehersal dinner? And who sends invitations?  (Read 1886 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6767
Re: Who gets invited to rehersal dinner? And who sends invitations?
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2014, 11:42:27 AM »
In our experience, rehearsal dinner traditions are all over the map. 

When we married in 1983, our rehearsal dinner included only our attendants and we treated them to dinner at a local pub.  We did invite the officiant but, because he was an order priest, he couldn't attend.  The only people who needed lodging were SIL, her DH and her children.  They were happily staying with MIL and FIL. We didn't invite my parents because driving into the city would have filled them with dread. No formal invitations were issued.  It was just a case of, 'Let's go out and have something to eat'. 

When Nephew 1 married, almost everyone had to travel. It was a rather big deal.  A block of rooms had been reserved for guests and those who came were invited to the rehearsal dinner at a local Italian restaurant.  Again, no formal invitations were issued. Word was passed around the hotel and everyone had a nice, informal time. 

When Nephew 2 married, there was no rehearsal dinner that we knew about. 

When Niece married, she and her DH hosted a rather lavish rehearsal dinner that included every guest who came in from out of town.  Once again, there were no formal invitations. 

Last year, we were invited to the Wedding of a rather distant relative.  We sent our regrets but we did receive an invitation to the rehearsal dinner and bowling party.  That invitation was sent by the parents of the Groom and included the standard RSVP card.         

Mikayla

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4049
Re: Who gets invited to rehersal dinner? And who sends invitations?
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2014, 12:07:30 PM »
Also Southern US, here. It is a whole separate invitation. If your FMIL is the hostess, she has final say on how big the rehearsal dinner should be. It wouldn't be fair for her to offer to host a rehearsal dinner and find out instead she's supposed to pay for a pre-reception for a large section of the guest list.  She should definitely be the one to do the inviting, unless she specifically tells you she does not want to send them.

This, especially the bolded.  I agree with others that there's a lot of wiggle room on who gets invited, but everything starts with clearcut budget expectations.  I've personally witnessed the fallout when this isn't agreed upon upfront. 

MurPl1

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 980
Re: Who gets invited to rehersal dinner? And who sends invitations?
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2014, 01:36:23 PM »
As far as including out of town guests or not, I think *where* the wedding is might play into it as well.  I live in the suburbs of a large city and there is a ton to do and I can imagine people taking advantage of the extra night in town as a bit of a vacation to enjoy the offerings, and might even prefer that over wedding festivities like a rehearsal dinner.

But if you are in a more remote location where there isn't really anything to do or explore, I can imagine sitting at the local Holiday Inn while the bridal party has their event might be a bit boring.

LadyR

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1002
    • Musings of A Pinterest Mom
Re: Who gets invited to rehersal dinner? And who sends invitations?
« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2014, 12:39:28 AM »
My wedding rehearsal was my bridal party, their SOs and our immediate family. That was still 30+ people in my small house, which is about all I could handle. The only time I've ever been to a rehearsal dinner is if I was in the wedding party, so for me that's the norm. My wedding was out of town for 90% of my guests, but most of them did not come into town until Saturday (it's about a 2 hour drive). I think you are fine not inviting all the out of town guests.