Thank you all. I guess in my emotion filled day I was throwing my hands up in the air thinking "oh my god, something else i've gotten wrong in this baby caper since I have no bleeping clue what i'm doing!"
Congratulations! You were fine, they were rude.
And get used to this feeling! To look at it in a 'silver lining' kind of way - it's a good lesson to learn early that people will be very keen to tell you what you should be doing, and to feel free to make your own choices, even if you feel like you have no idea what you're doing.
One other thought--nobody knows what they're doing. Not really. They may like to act as though they do, but we're all winging it.
My dad, who had 4 of us, said, "When you have your first kid, you don't know what you're doing.
"When you have your second kid, you think, 'oh, I've done this before,' but eventually you realize that you don't know what you're doing, bcs this one is a different kid.
"Then Kid No. 3 comes along, and you think, 'hey, I've done this twice w/ two different kids; I know what I'm doing!' and then you realize this is a completely else kid, and you still don't know what you're doing.
"When the fourth kid comes along, you realize, nobody knows what they're doing."
It was very comforting to me, to realize that my own parents, whom I admired and who I thought knew -everything- really didn't know what they were doing either.