General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Boss states her opinion and then says "Don't you agree?"

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"Perhaps you misunderstood me when we discussed this before, Manipulative Supervisor, I had said X rather than Y about Topic."

"We're still in the early phases of that project - I will send out the information as it become available."

Lee may need to go to HR or supervisor's supervisor to address the issue that she is making false statements about Lee's agreement with her, in front of customers where it would make the company look bad when Lee expressed that she actually disagreed.

Thank you so far.  I will let Lee know some of the ideas. 

Mr Tango - Generally it is a safe bet that Supervisor is going with option 3 more often than not.  And occasionally option 4 with a sidebar of claiming it was Lee's comment to begin with not hers. 
As mentioned Lee already told Supervisor she is uncomfortable with her using that tatic.
As to going to our supervisor's Boss, been done.  Nothing is accomplished and Boss will cover for Supervisor with something like it is "just her personality".  Comments were even made to have Lee's position not report to Supervisor but Boss said that it would "hurt Supervisor's feelings" if she couldn't have that position report to her.  (Yes, literally said that)  Also HR knows since at least 2 people that left told HR during exit interviews that Supervisor was the main reason for leaving.  By name. (To say that there is history with Supervisor is an understatement.)

DavidH, yes, out and out "no I don't agree with you." would cause issuestm . 

I just realized that Lee said that Boss was in the same meeting and noticed Lee's uncomfort when Supervisor said the "Don't you agree, Lee?" several times. 
(And Boss didnt say anything at the time or afterwards.)

Since Lee has asked her to stop, to no avail, and I'm sure Lee is already tried a number of evasive maneuvers, perhaps the solution is to disagree really blatantly and let the chips fall where they may. Later on, when boss is letting her have it, Lee can say, "Look I told you I wasn't comfortable with you asking me if I agree all the time. The truth is that I don't agree with you all the time, and if you keep asking that question you have to be prepared for my honest opinion."

Lee could in fact say this to the boss in advance of the next time. If Lee does go with this option, she should make sure to choose a scenario in which disagreeing would be very natural - like the pink polka dots example. It's an aesthetic choice (so disagreement would be normal) and also its sounds horrible - no one would agree with boss in this case.

I would look for any opening to use "however" phrasing such as "Well, I agree that pink polka dots would be cute, however, my concern would be..."

"I agree that the clouds are fluffy, however, I've been in the mood for rain recently. I just love a good storm!"

"I agree that widget A should be tracked, however, I think we should consider tracking the other widgets as well because..."

I'd suggest she point out the points, if any, she agrees with, and then state her opinion where it differs. E.g., "I really like what you said about the font. Great suggestion. However, with regards to the pink polka dots, I think that would be distracting. How about something simpler?"

Another point of order, when someone asks for agreement, is to acknowledge their opinion is being requested. "Don't you agree?" "Thanks for the chance to weigh in. Here's my thoughts: {rattle off list}"


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