Author Topic: Thank you note for re-issued check  (Read 3011 times)

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Aleka

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Thank you note for re-issued check
« on: January 18, 2014, 06:46:11 AM »
I'm looking for advice again, this time on how to word a thank you note.  I live far away from my family, and about a week ago when my dad and I were chatting on the phone, he mentioned that his elderly father (my grandfather) was feeling forgotten because he only received thank you notes from two of his many grandchildren for the Christmas checks he'd mailed out, and that I was one of the people who had not sent a thank you note.  Naturally I was mortified because I ALWAYS write thank you notes!  The only reason I did not write one this time is that I did not receive a check.  Apparently something went wrong and the Christmas card with the check got lost in the mail, because it most definitely did not arrive here. 

Now, where it gets a tiny bit tricky.  My grandfather is in his eighties and lives with my aunt and uncle.  He's pretty mentally competent still, but needs a lot of help.  One of the ways that my aunt and uncle help is by taking care of his finances, so they're the ones who actually write the checks and send out the Christmas cards for my grandfather.  He signs the Christmas cards so is definitely involved in the process.  After my dad and I talked, he let my uncle know that I hadn't received a Christmas check and my uncle very kindly is sending out a new one.  I have no idea if anyone told my grandfather that I hadn't received the first check. 

My question is, how do I phrase the thank you note in this situation?  I will of course send one out as soon as the check arrives because we're very grateful for the gift and really want my grandfather to feel appreciated.  If it would be polite, I would like to in some way phrase it so that it's clear I'm not just a month late in sending out the thank you note since I'm not sure if my uncle told him what happened.  However, I'm not sure if offering an explanation would be rude or not. 

This is what I'm thinking of writing, does it sound okay?

"Dear Grandfather,

Thank you very much for the generous check!  It was so kind of you to think of us and to send us a new one after the post office lost the original.  Mr Aleka and I really appreciate it.  We will definitely put the money to good use and have decided to put it in our savings account.   

                                                                                                Love,
                                                                                                   Aleka & Mr Aleka"

I'll also write a second paragraph talking a bit about how we hope he's doing well and a little about how we're doing.  Thoughts?

AvidReader

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2014, 07:47:05 AM »
I think you are fine.  You are providing your grandfather with a gracious response and at the same time providing harmless "cover" for your aunt and uncle in the event that the check was inadvertently forgotten or truly lost.  Evil AvidReader would add that you are also putting aunt and uncle on notice.....you know what I mean.  If you are so inclined, you might add in the most general of terms what your savings goal is, for example, some home improvements, a new car, a vacation; in other words some positive (aka fun) expenditure that he might also take pleasure in seeing you make.  It doesn't have to be what you might really use the money for: a child's college fund, to pay down some bills, that kind of thing.  Your idea for a second paragraph is spot-on.

BTW, the cutest thank-you we got from a dear young nephew this year was that he was saving his gift money for "all the cool new stuff" .... whatever that could possibly mean to a 14 y/o.

Aleka

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2014, 08:20:37 AM »
AvidReader, I did toy around with putting a line in there about what exactly we'd spend the money on, but it's a little complicated.  I recently amassed some medical bills that will take us a while to pay off (we have it under control, though) and I'm sure my dad's told him about my surgery.  In all honesty, the money from the check will go towards that.  I feel weird writing in the thank you note that it will be going towards medical bills because that's rather depressing and I feel like mentioning it may somehow exert pressure/make it seem like we're requesting more money, even though that's definitely not what we'd be doing!  On the other hand, if I make something up and say we'll use the money for something else (car repairs, a new couch, vacation, whatever), he may wonder why we aren't using the money for the medical bills.  I decided to stick with something generic like "we're putting it in our savings account" because it doesn't get into specifics that way, and it's true that the money will go into savings first until it's pulled out to pay for the medical bills.  Sorry about the stupidly long explanation, just wanted to clarify my reasoning.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2014, 08:22:30 AM by Aleka »

cb140

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2014, 08:47:09 AM »
I quite agree with not mentioning the medical bills - firstly, a bit of a downer in a TY note and secondly might as you say sound as if you are hinting for more. I think the wording of your note is perfect.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2014, 09:46:00 AM »
Honestly, I would not even mention the lost check. 

I also would not mention what you are spending the money on.

I would just thank your grandfather for the generous gift that you received.

jmarvellous

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2014, 10:18:14 AM »
I think it's fine!

I would mention the lost check if it were my grandparents, because they are sticklers for etiquette and feel snubbed if you take too long to write thank-you notes. So I think that's smart, too, because you know your grandfather has complained about not getting timely notes.

GreenBird

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2014, 10:27:52 AM »
I think your paragraph is perfect - it lets your grandfather know that he wasn't unappreciated or forgotten, it's just that the first check did not arrive.  It clears up any misconceptions and then goes on to say how much you do appreciate him. 

You could say something about it feels really good having something in the savings account if you wanted to elaborate on why the savings account is a meaningful thing for you to do with the money, so he knows the gift is making a positive difference for you.  When you're buying a vacation or something with the money, it's easy to point to why it was fun/meaningful/made a difference, so I'm just trying to find a phrase that will communicate a similar feeling for the savings account.  And let's face it, it does feel good to have something in the savings account, even if it doesn't stay there long!
« Last Edit: January 18, 2014, 10:37:21 AM by GreenBird »

TootsNYC

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2014, 11:22:33 AM »
I don't know how much $ he's sending, but when I give money, I don't really want to hear that you're putting it in the savings account--most of the time.

My ILs' family give envelopes of money to kids at holidays, and almost every one of them has mentioned that their kids saved that money, so I'm pretty sure that's what they expect of our kids. So the mention savings most of the time in their thank-you notes.

But for a grown person, if I give them cash, I'm kind of hoping they'll do something more interesting than that. It's theirs to do with what they want, but given my own gift-giving wishes, I've been known to "spend" the money on something I was going to buy anyway with my own money, and then I put my "own money" in the savings account instead.
   Bcs, money is fungible, and I can put the check in the savings account and spend my own literal money. It's just that for the purposes of making the thank-you note interesting, I label the thing I buy as being "from them."

Or, if I hear that the money's going into the savings account, I'd like to feel I'm contributing to something specific.

That's just a quirk of mine--hearing the money just went into the savings account, and nothing else, makes me feel a little dismissed. "Oh, we'll just put it out of sight, out of mind, in the savings account." Just my own odd little reaction.

I wouldn't mention the replacement check, and just thank him. Though, if you think your reputation

snowfire

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2014, 01:45:24 PM »
I think it is a good idea to mention the lost check.  Whoever is doing the banking would be able to put a stop payment on it & if they didn't know it was lost it would mess up their account balances.

TootsNYC

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2014, 05:28:10 PM »
The people doing the banking on behalf of grandpa (uncle and aunt) already know about the lost check and can deal w/ the logistics of that.

The OP is wondering what to write to her grandfather, whose feelings were hurt because the OP didn't send any thank-you note for his generous gift the way she usually does.

And that's why I'd say, mention the fact that it got lost.

kckgirl

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2014, 05:42:47 PM »
I agree with Toots about hearing that the money is going to the savings account and feeling dismissed. Putting it in the savings account isn't more (hmm, which word to use??) noble than any other use. It would definitely make me rethink sending cash/check again. Can't you mention something that you're buying anyway and thank Grandpa for providing the funds?

"We will definitely put the money to good use and have decided to put it in our savings account until we decide what to do with it."
Maryland

Aleka

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2014, 07:48:44 PM »
TootsNYC and Kckgirl, if you didn't, please read reply #2 because it explains why I wrote that we'd put it in our savings account.

To Kckgirl, I really doubt my grandfather would stop sending a Christmas check because I wrote him a thank you note that said we were planning to save the money.  He barely gets thank you notes from the rest of his family and still sends them checks, I don't think writing him a thank you note like this is more offensive than not acknowledging the check at all.

As to the amount of the check, it hasn't arrived yet, but will probably be $50-$100. 


TootsNYC

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2014, 09:56:43 PM »
Ah, I see the medical bills thing.

Were I grandpa, I'd probably like to hear something like, "It will take a big chunk of stress off of us" or "It'll be particularly useful right now." I'd figure out it was paying for the medical bills; savings might seem weird to me.

But it really isn't important--sorry to be micro-manage-y.

kckgirl

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2014, 08:06:49 AM »
TootsNYC and Kckgirl, if you didn't, please read reply #2 because it explains why I wrote that we'd put it in our savings account.

To Kckgirl, I really doubt my grandfather would stop sending a Christmas check because I wrote him a thank you note that said we were planning to save the money.  He barely gets thank you notes from the rest of his family and still sends them checks, I don't think writing him a thank you note like this is more offensive than not acknowledging the check at all.

As to the amount of the check, it hasn't arrived yet, but will probably be $50-$100. 

I did see the reply about medical bills before I replied, and agree with you about not mentioning them to Grandfather, and still wouldn't say I was putting his gift in the savings account. I never said not to send a note. I just wouldn't say the check was going in the savings account. You must be buying other things that make your life comfortable while you also pay the medical bills. We all, even when we have a financial crisis, continue to buy things we need.
Maryland

Lynda_34

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Re: Thank you note for re-issued check
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2014, 10:29:19 PM »
I give money to my children.
With my son it is ongoing since I pay for daycare for his daughter.
With my daughter it is sporadic but in large amounts.
They thank me verbally.  I did ask my daughter what she spent her birthday money on and she had to think for a few minutes before she said she bought shoes. (not Jimmy Choos but good sturdy work shoes since she works in food service.)
In December I gave her a good chunk of change and she thanked me during a conversation we had but hasn't told me what she spent it on and I won't ask.
I pay the daycare bill for my granddaughter through my credit card and I hand my daughter checks.  Thank you notes are not in the mix and that is ok in these situations. 

When my stepfather and mother wrote me checks, I always thanked them when they handed me the check and then when I endorsed the check I wrote thank you above my endorsement.  Since we don't get checks back from the banks today that wouldn't work.  Changing times call for changing ways of acknowledging things.