Author Topic: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!  (Read 6066 times)

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bloo

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2014, 08:21:13 AM »
I agree, if you make it seem like you're running towards something they won't notice that you're running away from something...though that might not be something that may entirely work in this case. I can't put my finger on it but something tells me that this may not be over until there's mints on the pillows with toilet paper perfectly folded into a little triangle in the bathroom...ignore me, my hinkey meter may just be over sensitive tonight.

Wanting a clean and not-overcrowded environment is not the same as wanting mints and folded toilet paper.

I too Ravenish's comments to be towards OP's hoarder relatives. As in, the lengths they'll go to in order to get OP to stay - not what OP would demand upon staying.

TootsNYC

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2014, 10:19:11 AM »
I agree, if you make it seem like you're running towards something they won't notice that you're running away from something...though that might not be something that may entirely work in this case. I can't put my finger on it but something tells me that this may not be over until there's mints on the pillows with toilet paper perfectly folded into a little triangle in the bathroom...ignore me, my hinkey meter may just be over sensitive tonight.

Wanting a clean and not-overcrowded environment is not the same as wanting mints and folded toilet paper.


I took that comment to mean that those are the lengths the aunt & uncle will go to, to try to entice the OP and her DH to stay with them.

BeagleMommy

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2014, 10:20:00 AM »
I POD those who've said to make this about you and LordL rather than the state of their home.  Something like "Oh, Aunt Nina, we appreciate the offer.  However, this is a treat LordL and I allow ourselves because it's such a romantic setting".

If I remember correctly LadyL, you are very recently married (or soon to be).  Anyone would understand the newlywed phase where the couple wants to spend alone time.

Kaypeep

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2014, 11:25:54 AM »
You are there to attend a wedding. Tell them the B&B works better for you to attend the wedding and also visit/attend other folks involved in the wedding.  However, since you're in the area you also want to visit with Aunt and Uncle, so that's why you invited them to meet for dinner.  Being their houseguest simply doesn't fit into the plans for your weekend as a whole.

bopper

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2014, 09:30:29 PM »
"Oh, we were going to make a romantic getaway out of the weekend.  We can't wait to see you at the wedding/go to brunch the next day with you!"

Ravenish

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2014, 10:22:18 PM »
I agree, if you make it seem like you're running towards something they won't notice that you're running away from something...though that might not be something that may entirely work in this case. I can't put my finger on it but something tells me that this may not be over until there's mints on the pillows with toilet paper perfectly folded into a little triangle in the bathroom...ignore me, my hinkey meter may just be over sensitive tonight.

Wanting a clean and not-overcrowded environment is not the same as wanting mints and folded toilet paper.

Just to clarify I was saying (albeit a touch facetiously) that this may be the lengths that the Aunt and Uncle would go to in the guest areas but not the common areas. Also the hinkey meter comment was also aimed at the Aunt and Uncle which is my way of saying that I feel there's something I can't put my finger on about a situation is in play.

Warning, wild supposition follows, feel free to disregard.

In this case, I have a feeling that they're not ones to let this go too easily though it'll be a civil protest along the lines of "We can totally be just like your favourite B&B. Just tell us how" rather than ranting and raving about how they never stay with them. But I can't put anything concrete behind that reasoning other than a possibly over sensitive hinkey meter. Sorry for the confusion.

LadyL

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2014, 08:42:07 AM »

In this case, I have a feeling that they're not ones to let this go too easily though it'll be a civil protest along the lines of "We can totally be just like your favourite B&B. Just tell us how" rather than ranting and raving about how they never stay with them. But I can't put anything concrete behind that reasoning other than a possibly over sensitive hinkey meter. Sorry for the confusion.

Well, I can say that what worried me was that we haven't stayed with them for at least a year or two yet they insisted they had rearranged furniture in the guest room on our behalf. Now maybe that is an exaggeration, they moved the furniture for another reason initially and then thought "Oh! Lord and Lady L might come back now that there is more room!" and pitched it to us that way. But I know that I, personally, would not be making major efforts to accommodate house guests who weren't "regulars" and it did make me worry what else they would offer to do to "win us back" hence this thread.

tinkytinky

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2014, 03:04:15 PM »
you can always say, "X amount of people trying to get ready for a wedding in one spot can be difficult. We will stay at the B&B, because we kind of like to spread our toiletries/clothes out,  but we can't wait to see you on x afternoon/at the wedding/go to xyz event."

This is a temporary fix, but if you can establish a sort of "we like our space" vibe now, it will get easier.

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Ravenish

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2014, 05:37:36 AM »

In this case, I have a feeling that they're not ones to let this go too easily though it'll be a civil protest along the lines of "We can totally be just like your favourite B&B. Just tell us how" rather than ranting and raving about how they never stay with them. But I can't put anything concrete behind that reasoning other than a possibly over sensitive hinkey meter. Sorry for the confusion.

Well, I can say that what worried me was that we haven't stayed with them for at least a year or two yet they insisted they had rearranged furniture in the guest room on our behalf. Now maybe that is an exaggeration, they moved the furniture for another reason initially and then thought "Oh! Lord and Lady L might come back now that there is more room!" and pitched it to us that way. But I know that I, personally, would not be making major efforts to accommodate house guests who weren't "regulars" and it did make me worry what else they would offer to do to "win us back" hence this thread.

Oh, in that case I wouldn't worry too much. Sounds like good marketing rather than a campaign to get you back as guests which is how I first read it. From that I'd now say that they'd provide reasonable accommodation should you request it or JADE in such a way to hint for it but if you don't feed them needs other than a desire to be at that B&B however you politely phrase it. Feed them nothing about why you're staying away and they won't try and accommodate you. At most give reasons why you're going to the B&B even if it's being newly weds enjoying a new honeymoon phase ;)

Mikayla

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Re: We won't be staying with you, so please don't waste the effort prepping!
« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2014, 01:37:35 PM »

In this case, I have a feeling that they're not ones to let this go too easily though it'll be a civil protest along the lines of "We can totally be just like your favourite B&B. Just tell us how" rather than ranting and raving about how they never stay with them. But I can't put anything concrete behind that reasoning other than a possibly over sensitive hinkey meter. Sorry for the confusion.

I get what you're saying, even though I wouldn't call it hinky meter.  But when I extend invites to people who aren't my typical crash buddies, I always try to word it in a way that makes it easier to decline.  I'm issuing an invite, not a summons.  These people are making it more difficult to decline, to the point where it's borderline manipulative.

The only thing LadyL has to keep in mind is if there are other relatives in that area she does enjoy staying with.   That impact her phrasing if it's the case.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2014, 01:39:16 PM by Mikayla »