Wedding Bliss and Blues > Attire

Flower girl dress expense?

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Hi all,

I'm in the process of planning a wedding.  I have asked our good friend's little girl (who will be four at the time of the wedding) to be our flower girl.  I said (and meant it) that as far as I am concerned, she could show up in a Red Sox jersey and I would be thrilled - I just want her there for herself, not as a prop.  The FG's mom said she would poke around and that she would be happy for an excuse to buy a fancier-than-usual dress for her daughter.

Recently the mom sent me a few dresses she'd found online for me to take a look and weigh in if one of them jumped out at me - they were all adorable, different patterns and colors, and I let her know the top couple that we liked, but reiterated that we just wanted her daughter there and she should wear whatever she likes best and/or whatever her parents like best or think she would wear again.

My question is, should I be offering to pay for the dress?  I truly would be happy if she wore something already in her closet, and we have no "wedding colors" or anything else that the child needs to match, but I still feel badly that they are spending money on a dress that might end up being just for one event.


I don't think you need to worry about paying for the flower girl dress.

Honestly the Mom sounds like she wants an excuse to buy a fancy dress.  It will probably be something that would be great for portraits or Christmas or Easter for that matter.  Also, Mom may know of some other upcoming milestone events that the dress could be worn at, and taking that into account.

Are you in the US? As far as I know, it's pretty standard that everyone pay for their own dresses, especially if they're given free rein in choosing those dresses.

Yes, I am in the US.  I do know that it's standard for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, but I wasn't sure about flower girls.  (I'm not having any bridesmaids.)

Peregrine, that's definitely the vibe I've gotten from the mom (whom I've been friends with for 20+ years) - I just had a moment of pause when I saw the dresses online, since they are what I'd consider a little pricey.

i would say no, esp. since you are letting her pick out a dress she could wear again.


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