Author Topic: Thank you cards for cash gifts  (Read 460 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Kaymar

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 435
Thank you cards for cash gifts
« on: October 10, 2014, 01:02:39 PM »
Hi all,
Well, we made it through the wedding and all in all, I ended up glad we didn't just elope. It was a fun day and we have great photos and memories and everyone seemed to have fun, which was important to me. Even one of my more exacting friends posted Facebook comments recommending our caterer for how good the food was!

Now we are back from the honeymoon and confronting the thank you note task.  Side note: we sent out thank yous prior to the wedding for anything we had received then, so the remaining thank yous are for day-of or subsequent gifts. If we get them done this weekend, it will be less than a month after the event, which I hope is OK when we were out of the country for two weeks.

Anyway.... We got a lot of cash / check gifts. About 80-90% of the gifts, in fact, were monetary. I'm someone who always gives a physical gift, so I'm not sure what to write in the thank you notes. Many were earmarked with "use this to have a great time on your honeymoon," which direction we heeded, so should the notes talk about what we did? If so in what detail?

Thanks in advance!

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6859
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2014, 04:02:06 PM »
First of all, Congratulations and every happiness to both of you.  It's good to hear that the day was truly special.

About the TY Notes for cash, I would suggest something along the following lines.

"Dear Aunt Gregory and Uncle Edith,

It was so nice to see you at our Wedding.  It's a shame that Cousin Draco couldn't make it but we were very happy to hear about his Nobel prize.  You must be very proud.

We thank you so much for your generous gift.

(at this point, you can further tailor the note.

If the check was earmarked for your Honeymoon fun you can briefly tell them how much fun the underwater sky-diving lessons were.

If it wasn't so earmarked,it might be more politic to mention getting something nice for your new life together.)

Best wishes go all of you.

Love,

Hermione and Ron Weasley.



TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30848
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2014, 04:35:08 PM »
If the check was earmarked for the honeymoon, then yes, tell them something you did. Not in any great detail ("a terrific restaurant on the water with incredible salmon" is enough--whatever applies).

We got money, and I thanked people for the left arm/right arm/center cushion of the sofa, or the left half of our dining room rug. I wrote to all the members of each family (aunt&uncle, and grownup cousins) at the same time, and thanked them for something different, so that if they compared notes--which they did--they all got thanked for something different.

Of course, there was only one sofa. so people that I thought would not compare notes were thanked for the same thing. Or, I just said, "new furniture" or something like that. I think I even told a few people that we were putting it in the bank, and that it was nice to know we were going into our marriage with that cushion, since homeownership was scary, and someday there might be kids. In my ILs' family, that's that they -want- you to do with the money, so it was a safe bet.

It's OK to make stuff up, and to say, "we hope to use it to..." Nobody's going to quiz you later, or if they do, they will probably understand if you say, "Oh, we ended up using it for XYZ else," or even "We haven't been able to find a dining set we like yet, so we're still holding onto it."

Kaymar

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 435
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2014, 04:43:33 PM »
Thanks, both.  I'm a little stumped on the non-honeymoon-earmarked $, because, well, we haven't bought anything with it yet, and we don't have any plans to buy anything in particular.  We don't need furniture or any household goods - we really didn't want any gifts, but so it goes.  I guess we can go with the "we hope to use it to..." and talk about future travel adventures or owning a home, but that feels a bit odd.

I realize this is the height of a first world problem!  I just want to be as gracious as possible while still sounding like myself.  As much as I didn't want gifts, I'm now kind of grateful for the few people who got us tangible items, as those are a lot easier to talk about ("can't wait to have you over and make Moscow Mules in these awesome copper mugs") etc.

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30848
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2014, 04:49:34 PM »
I might not talk about travels to people who didn't earmark it for the honeymoon; I think there's a chance that they might feel it's a waste. I know that my ILs' family probably would be put off by that a little. They give money because they want to create an asset for you, and "travel" isn't lasting enough for them.

But saving up to buy a home, absolutely; saving up to replace the sofa eventually, yes. Saving up for for future family; good too.

Kaymar

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 435
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2014, 04:56:56 PM »
I might not talk about travels to people who didn't earmark it for the honeymoon; I think there's a chance that they might feel it's a waste. I know that my ILs' family probably would be put off by that a little. They give money because they want to create an asset for you, and "travel" isn't lasting enough for them.

But saving up to buy a home, absolutely; saving up to replace the sofa eventually, yes. Saving up for for future family; good too.

See, we are people who find material things way more of a waste than experiences - to each their own!  Most of the people who gave $$ were friends in our age group, so I suspect they would not be put off by a mention of travel.  I would find it weird if one of my friends thanked me for a cash gift mentioning future family, but that's probably because my husband and I are all the future family I intend to have :)

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30848
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2014, 05:48:37 PM »
Oh, I agree with you, that material things can be a much worse waste of money.

It's just that i think thank-you notes should be tailored to their audience, because they are essentially little Public Relations tactics.
    And I think that if people did -not- write "use this for your honeymoon," you have a chance that they'll think a wedding present (unlike a b'day present) ought to result in something "lasting," and there's also a chance that their idea of "lasting" is more material.

But you know the specific people, so you'll be the best judge of thinking, "What is it they'd expect me to do with that money?" and then thank them for something related to that.

Kaymar

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 435
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2014, 08:31:53 PM »
Thank you and that all sounds very true and helpful: like all writing, it is as much about your audience as anything else.

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6859
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2014, 10:22:59 AM »
With non-earmarked gifts it's definitely a case of 'Know your audience'.  Aunt Gregory and Uncle Edith might be gratified that their gift was banked as a pay-it-forward to Mr. Mortgage while Aunt Drusilla may have dearly wanted to help you buy a piece of Lladro. 

I wouldn't do it but I do sort of like the idea of allocating gifts to parts of furniture if the recipients of the notes enjoy that sort of thing.

TY notes can be a pain to write but, if you take on the task with a bit of creativity, they can be fun.     

gellchom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2264
Re: Thank you cards for cash gifts
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2014, 03:04:22 PM »
Toots and Thipu1 gave you great advice. 

If they told you to use it for the honeymoon, great, say you did, and you don't have to be specific; "We had a wonderful time in Jamaica!  Thank you so much for helping us to have a beautiful honeymoon."

For others, I agree, know your audience.  For those that you aren't sure about saying you used/will use it to buy an XYZ, "Thank you for the generous gift" is fine, but to my ear a little formulaic; I prefer, "Thank you for helping us off to a good start."  Older people especially love that.  (It is completely irrelevant that you "started" in one way or another years ago and are now getting close to your second billion; a newly married couple of any age and income is "starting out"!)

I also like trying to put the words "thank you" not in the same phrase as the gift (nothing at all wrong with that, it just makes it more fun and maybe a bit more fresh): "We are saving up for a dining room set, and your gift will help us get it soon.  Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and generosity."  I guess I like it because it sort of makes the nice words about them, not about the gift. 

Those little extras are just that, not essentials for good thank you notes.  I find it makes them more fun to write, though.  I like writing thank you notes, actually.  They only take about 3-5 minutes, including the envelope, and I usually do them in front of the TV.  So I never quite understand why people consider them such a chore; to me, it's a pleasant task to express gratitude in a note that I hope will make someone smile.  Maybe it's just a convention to think it's a chore?

Good for you that you are doing them promptly.  That always makes a very good impression.