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Author Topic: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"  (Read 657 times)

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bap

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How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« on: February 26, 2015, 04:16:01 PM »
Obviously the post title is in jest (sort of).  My daughter is now planning her wedding for 9/15.  So far so good and thanks to this site, I believe we are doing a pretty good job of staying ehell approved.  There may be some bumps coming up and I know I can trust you good folks to keep us straight  ;D
The only problem we are having right now is reflected in the title of this post.  As of now, there are still no showers planned and so of course no registries of any kind set up.  In our area it is expected that every bride will register at 2-3 of several stores around (and actually upsets most people around here if she doesn't.  It makes things much simpler for those that wish to purchase a gift).  What has taken the bride by surprise is the number of people asking about her honeymoon registry.  She doesn't plan on one.  She doesn't want one.  She doesn't like the way they operate.  And she doesn't yet know how to politely inform anyone that there won't be one, because every time she has tried to explain or better yet, change the subject, they JUST WON'T QUIT!  This has happened several times already and she is beginning to dread anyone asking about wedding plans because it inevitably leads to - this!

LonniesMom

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2015, 04:30:28 PM »
It isn't impolite at all to say "No, we are not doing a honeymoon registry."

ETA: The problem is her trying to explain, because the people asking will just try to convince her otherwise. Just say "we aren't doing it" and leave it at that.

TurtleDove

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2015, 04:34:21 PM »
It isn't impolite at all to say "No, we are not doing a honeymoon registry."

ETA: The problem is her trying to explain, because the people asking will just try to convince her otherwise. Just say "we aren't doing it" and leave it at that.

This.  Possibly say what she would appreciate as a gift, or if it is the case, and if asked, say, "no gifts please - just your presence!" At some point being extremely "etiquette focused" without an eye toward your actual social circle is not polite, I think. It can come across as condescending.

Hmmmmm

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2015, 04:37:21 PM »
She shouldn't explain. Just a "No honeymoon registry. We have it all handled." If they ask why or want to argue the "value" of the registry she can just repeat "we don't have a need for one".

Mergatroyd

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2015, 04:37:34 PM »
It isn't impolite at all to say "No, we are not doing a honeymoon registry."

ETA: The problem is her trying to explain, because the people asking will just try to convince her otherwise. Just say "we aren't doing it" and leave it at that.

I agree.

Zizi-K

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2015, 05:15:36 PM »
Don't most honeymoon registries take a cut? Giving to a registry like that is basically giving money. Why would anyone want to basically give money, but do it through a service that skims off the top? Just give cash at that point!

The bride, or MOB, could explain that: "Actually, honeymoon registries end up taking a percentage of the money given through them. They don't seem like a good value."

Harriet Jones

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2015, 05:44:22 PM »
I'm surprised there's somewhere that the honeymoon registry is so popular that the happy couple would be getting harassed for not having one.  I think "No, we're not doing one" is a perfectly fine answer.

katycoo

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #7 on: February 26, 2015, 06:03:34 PM »
"They don't want one".
"Oh but you get X, Y and Z!"
"But they don't want one."

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Roses

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2015, 06:45:50 PM »
I would actually change the word "want" to "have" so someone isn't encouraged to try and convince them why they should want it.

If asked directly your daughter could say:

We don't have one.
We are not doing one.
Our honeymoon is already paid for.
Beandip

If someone asks you

They don't have one
They are not getting one
Their honeymoon is already paid for
They are registered at XYZ
Beandip

Yvaine

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2015, 06:51:44 PM »
I'm surprised there's somewhere that the honeymoon registry is so popular that the happy couple would be getting harassed for not having one.  I think "No, we're not doing one" is a perfectly fine answer.

Yeah, this! I didn't get the idea the concept had that much saturation yet.

HannahGrace

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2015, 07:30:03 PM »
I'm surprised there's somewhere that the honeymoon registry is so popular that the happy couple would be getting harassed for not having one.  I think "No, we're not doing one" is a perfectly fine answer.

Yeah, this! I didn't get the idea the concept had that much saturation yet.

For real! I find it surprising too. I got married recently, with no registry and no gift desires (except "no gifts") and not a single person asked me if we had a honeymoon registry.

cass2591

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Re: How to politely say "NO WE ARE NOT DOING A HONEYMOON REGISTRY!"
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2015, 08:16:41 PM »
First of all, despite your "sort of in jest" title, it is not polite to yell. Now I'm sure your daughter won't yell, but please curtail the caps and the answer to her dilemma is repeat, repeat, repeat.

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