Author Topic: Do you ever ask after a mailed present?  (Read 183 times)

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Dindrane

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Do you ever ask after a mailed present?
« on: September 16, 2014, 04:24:11 PM »
I have a friend who got married a couple of years ago, and in a mad dash to finally buy presents for people that have been woefully (and inexcusably) delayed, my husband and I picked out and mailed a gift for him a couple of weeks ago.

Since the present would otherwise be coming out of the blue, I texted my friend and gave him the tracking number, and in the exchange also asked him to let me know when he received it. I didn't tell him this (though I kind of wish I had) that part of my motivation for wanting to know when he actually got it is that the gift itself was fragile (a blown glass ornament). I had it wrapped up well and told the post office it was fragile when I mailed it, but you never know.

Since I sent it via USPS priority mail and had tracking information, I know it was delivered two days after I sent it, but I haven't actually heard from my friend. That's actually relatively typical of him (we're not in terribly regular contact because, honestly, he's not very good at initiating contact, and sometimes isn't even good at responding to contact I initiate), so it doesn't necessarily mean he didn't get it. But I'd like to know one way or the other (and know if it arrived intact), aside from wanting to know if he liked the present.

I could just text him again and ask if he got it, but something about that feels kind of weird to me. I haven't said anything up to now because I didn't want to text him as soon as USPS said "delivered", and then I forgot. But it's been a week and a half since then, and I've not heard anything (electronically or otherwise) from my friend. But if he's sent (or planning to send) some sort of thank you note, I don't really want to preempt that, which I think is why it feels kind of weird to ask (like I'm prompting him to thank me, which isn't my motivation at all).

So...ask about it? Don't ask about it? Wait a little longer and then ask? How to phrase the question if I do? Thoughts?

This situation will likely come up for me again, since most of my friends and relatives live really far away from me (although hopefully I'll never again let that amount of time pass before giving someone a present!).


auntmeegs

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Re: Do you ever ask after a mailed present?
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2014, 04:36:14 PM »
I think I would probably wait another couple of weeks to see if a thank you note comes and if not, you could send a quick text, something like "hey, did the thingie I sent arrive in one piece?"

Lynn2000

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Re: Do you ever ask after a mailed present?
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2014, 05:40:52 PM »
I think you've done the right thing so far. I was going to say that nowadays, I always contact the person as soon as I've ordered the gift, to let them know to expect it; and if possible I track it to make sure it was delivered on time. But once you've informed them, and seen through tracking that it was delivered, it becomes awkward to ask about, because it could be seen as fishing for a TY/chastising them for not thanking you soon enough. It's kind of out of your hands and into theirs at that point--if it didn't actually arrive or it was broken or whatever, it's up to them to deal with it, and to involve you (or not) if they want.

If a lovely gift arrived directly from a friend broken (and not from a commercial seller), I'm not sure I would want to tell them--it might just make them feel bad, or like they had to buy me another one. Of course I would still send a TY note as if it had arrived intact, but it might take me longer to decide what to do.

If you really want to ask, I would wait at least a couple more weeks, maybe longer. I would probably send an email or text, something that doesn't put them on the spot to answer right away.
~Lynn2000

Dindrane

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Re: Do you ever ask after a mailed present?
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2014, 09:31:55 PM »
Part of the reason I care if it arrived intact is that I think priority mail gets you a little bit of a insurance. The ornament was not that expensive, so if there is insurance, it would likely cover the cost of replacing it. I'm guessing I'd have to be the one to make a claim in that situation.


NFPwife

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Re: Do you ever ask after a mailed present?
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2014, 09:38:17 PM »
Part of the reason I care if it arrived intact is that I think priority mail gets you a little bit of a insurance. The ornament was not that expensive, so if there is insurance, it would likely cover the cost of replacing it. I'm guessing I'd have to be the one to make a claim in that situation.

That's a great point and I think you text and say, "I'm just checking to see that your gift arrived intact. It was insured, so I want to ENsure that it's whole and perfect. :) "

That way, if it's been damaged your friend will be comfortable replying.