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  • May 26, 2015, 08:16:19 AM

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Author Topic: Don't Cash my Check  (Read 2857 times)

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kudeebee

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2015, 10:33:19 PM »
I would take him at his word and cash his check.  If his bank is in the same town as you, go to his bank and cash it there.  Then you will know if he has the money available or not and won't face any bad check fees from your bank if he doesn't have the money.

TracyXJ

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2015, 09:24:49 AM »
If you get along with this uncle (and it seems like you do since he came to your wedding unlike the rest of your relatives), then I'd just send him a quick text on the 15th to just double check.  Sort of a little "Hey Uncle, hope you're doing well!  Just wanted to be sure it was safe to cash your check?"

I might even wait until a day or 2 after the 15th so it doesn't seem like you're being money grabbing maybe?

JenJay

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2015, 09:32:15 AM »
I would send him a quick note on the 15th and double check that it's cool to cash it. I don't think the fact that he asked you to wait necessarily means he's strapped for cash. Because our house payment is a lot higher than all our other bills combined, my husband's paychecks are such that at the first of the month we don't have a lot of extra spending money, but on the 15th it's no problem. Could be that he can easily afford whatever amount he gifted you - just not yet.  :)
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Klein Bottle

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2015, 08:04:17 PM »
I agree that it would not hurt to double check with him, on the off chance he hasn't kept track of the fact that this check is outstanding.

It's good he gave you a head's up and post-dated the check.  One of our wedding gift checks bounced, and the bank we were with at the time charged us a bounced check fee because of it, even though no check we had written had bounced as a result of this.  >:(  I never did address this fact with the givers, because, what could I possibly say that would not embarrass them?  So, we just wrote it off and ate the fee.  In a way, though, they did me a favor, because it was the final straw that made me leave that bank.  That bank was ahead of the curve as far as charging a fee for every little thing; this was mid-nineties, and although they mostly all do that to some degree now, such was not the case 20 years ago.  I certainly wasn't too happy about the whole mess at the time, though.  (Then the same thing happened with a birthday gift check to my son, but this time it was from my sister, so I was able to tell her about it easily. she gave me cash, and we had a good laugh.  Plus, we had switched from that terrible bank by then, so no additional fees were incurred as a result.)
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miranova

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2015, 01:43:47 PM »
Take the check to the bank it is drawn from (not your own bank) on the 15th and cash it.  If there isn't enough money in the account, they will tell you that right then and there and nobody will have to pay any fees.

I understand what people are saying about not wanting to take money from someone living that close to the edge but the reality is that something like 2/3 of all people in the US live paycheck to paycheck.  Most of them still want to give wedding gifts to their family and I feel you run the risk of coming off as a bit patronizing if you don't cash it at all for your uncle's own good. 

TootsNYC

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2015, 02:07:41 PM »
Quote
Sort of a little "Hey Uncle, hope you're doing well!  Just wanted to be sure it was safe to cash your check?"

I might suggest a different verb: Maybe "safe to deposit your check."

It sounds less greedy somehow; I know it's not, and it's the same thing. But it just feels better. More, "I'm putting this away for the future," and less "I want the money now."

pattycake

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2015, 08:57:07 PM »
I would probably go with asking the day before, saying something like "hey Uncle, I am going to the bank tomorrow and just want to make sure it's okay to deposit that cheque now."

Luci

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2015, 09:58:26 PM »
We have been in the giver's position because we had invested a bunch and forgot the wedding. We could certainly afford the gift, but the timing was just a tad off. I would have been insulted if Alison had sent me a text like that. We had planned.

I like to think the uncle was planning on this gift and just go ahead and cash the check on the 15th as planned. Do you have real reason to think he may be financially in trouble? Just deposit the check, send the proper thank you, and remember how special that gift is to you.

When my FIL passed, the greatest gift was $5.00 from a widow friend to the scholarship foundation. It far outshone the $500.00 from another donor. I wrote both thank you notes in the same tone.

Bottlecaps

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2015, 03:23:58 PM »
I would send him a quick note on the 15th and double check that it's cool to cash it. I don't think the fact that he asked you to wait necessarily means he's strapped for cash. Because our house payment is a lot higher than all our other bills combined, my husband's paychecks are such that at the first of the month we don't have a lot of extra spending money, but on the 15th it's no problem. Could be that he can easily afford whatever amount he gifted you - just not yet.  :)

Totally parking my POD here with JenJay. :) My husband and I are in the same boat - bills come out at the beginning of the month, our checks are pretty much gone before we get them. But, the second check we get that month, around the middle, is pretty much home-free with the exception of our cell phone bill. If we give a gift, it would most certainly be out of the check we get around the 15th, not the one from the 30th. And everytime I write a check, even if the funds won't be deducted right away, I go ahead and put it in my checkbook register, so I don't accidentally forget that I have that money coming out at some point. :)

I'd take what your uncle said at face value and go ahead and deposit or cash the check on the 15th or after, although as other posters have said, if possible, take it to the same bank it's drawn off of so you'll know right then and there if there's enough money to cover it.
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cass2591

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2015, 06:45:16 PM »
OP, I really think you should just cash/deposit the check on the 15th. I've never had to post date a check, but if I did and the recipient, especially a relative, called to ask if it was okay I'd be a little embarrassed and hurt.

Unless you're concerned about the assessment fee should the check bounce, follow your uncle's lead. It is not uncommon to post date checks unless there some subterfuge involved and I assume you believe he's honest.
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Jaelle

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2015, 08:28:45 PM »
Take the check to the bank it is drawn from (not your own bank) on the 15th and cash it.  If there isn't enough money in the account, they will tell you that right then and there and nobody will have to pay any fees.

I understand what people are saying about not wanting to take money from someone living that close to the edge but the reality is that something like 2/3 of all people in the US live paycheck to paycheck.  Most of them still want to give wedding gifts to their family and I feel you run the risk of coming off as a bit patronizing if you don't cash it at all for your uncle's own good.

POD. Our money's tight right now, but I'd be beyond offended if I juggled funds to give someone I cared about a check as a wedding gift ... and then they didn't cash it, assuming I couldn't afford it.  >:(

That said, I'd never post-date a wedding-gift check either. But I'd take him at his word.
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gellchom

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Re: Don't Cash my Check
« Reply #26 on: May 12, 2015, 01:06:55 PM »
I agree.  Wait until the 15th, or a few days later, and then negotiate the check (I agree, at the issuing bank if convenient) without discussing it with him.

At first, I wondered why Uncle didn't just wait until there was money in the account to send the check.  But now I think that he really didn't see this as a big deal, probably just a question of a monthly cash flow pattern as others mentioned.  So no need to worry that he is broke, and there is a tiny risk that he'd see your asking as a PA comment on his not having given you an immediately negotiable check.