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  • January 24, 2017, 09:50:43 AM

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Author Topic: How to say honeymoon fund?  (Read 1083 times)

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MsOverThinker

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How to say honeymoon fund?
« on: January 17, 2017, 01:18:25 PM »
Hello, ehellions,

I volunteered to host and help my cousin with her wedding website. It's mostly info about the wedding day, venue, blocked hotel rooms, etc. She is registered at Bed, Bath, & Beyond and they also want to mention that they are going to have a honeymoon fund. I don't mind putting up a page about registries, but I'm looking for the least-tacky way to say "honeymoon fund". Any opinions?

I'm hoping that because this is "pull" information rather than "pushed" (the invitees have the option to not view the registry page, and thus can make their own decisions), that it's not too tacky. What do you guys think?

Thank you all.

ladyknight1

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2017, 01:40:13 PM »
I would use very clear wording that it is a honeymoon fund.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

SianMcClay

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2017, 05:50:01 PM »
I come from a social background where weddings are fairly low key.  You have a ceremony, and then have a reception in the "nicer" back room of the local pub.  I know, not very classy, but cheap and cheerful.  And there are not a lot of gifts from guests.  There are a few, but not usually enough to register somewhere.  And I'm from a generation where most people of marrying age already have all the household items they need, so gifts don't tend to go in that direction. 

So I come here and I see there are a lot of opinions on how gifts are dealt with at weddings.  It seems that gifts are traditional and so are registrations.  I don't have a problem with either.  So I don't really see the difference between a registry at Bath and Body works or a honeymoon fund.  The guests have three options here.  Chose a gift from the registry at Bath and Body Works, or Donate to their Honeymoon Fund, or give a gift of their own choosing.  I don't think there is tackiness in that at all.

So, maybe make it one of these three choices in a fun way? "The couple have registered at BandBW (link here), and at fundmyhoneymoon.com, but gifts of your own choosing are also welcome, should guest decide to bring one, however the only gift that is important to the HC is your presence at the celebration.

 :o That was horribly written, but something like that maybe? 

bloo

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2017, 07:08:18 AM »
Hmm, I think most here are pretty chillaxed about registries, but I don't care for them. I honestly did not give a thought about gifts nor did I have a shower. I was pleasantly surprised that I received any gifts.

I don't think there is an etiquette- approved way to ask for gifts, especially in the form of money. People have usually agreed to registry info with the shower invite, although the best way to inform about a registry is word of mouth. See, I'm uncomfortable with people I don't know very well giving me a gift. Whereas it's possible to invite someone you don't know really well to your wedding. Blending of two families and friends and all.

If someone is close enough to give you a gift, they're close enough to contact relatives of the HC to find out what the couple needs / likes.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2017, 07:45:33 AM by bloo »

#borecore

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2017, 07:23:57 AM »
If there's a registry page on the website, just put links to anywhere they're registered. People who click on the link can feel free to close it if it's not their idea of a good gift (as I would; not a fan, but if your friend has already decided to do it, that's the least intrusive option).

SianMcClay

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2017, 11:23:40 AM »
I thought we were talking about how to include a honeymoon fund on the wedding website as well as the registry.  Can you clarify OP?

I thought in America (US) registries were a traditional thing.  I remember watching American movies when I was a kid and if it was wedding oriented, (Father of the Bride, Betsy's Wedding kind of thing) registries were always talked about and I never knew what they were until I spent some time in the US as an adult and figured it out. 

I don't know where OP is, but it's obvious that it's a thing that's done, especially since their making a wedding webpage.  I've never heard of that before but they probably aren't the first couple to do it.  But I think the honeymoon fund is a bit new and it may make people uncomfortable.  But it looks the same as a registry to me.  Buy us these his and hers towels for $50, or donate $50 to our honeymoon.  They are both gifts, right?

I just think there needs to be a disclaimer that personally chosen gifts outside of these options are great, and that the guests presence at the ceremony is the only gift the couple are requesting.  Or something like that.  I just don't know how to word it.

Honestly, I don't know why couples do this to themselves, webpages, registries, showers, hen nights, weird after wedding parties, honeymoons...the stress, the time, the money...you know you can just get married, right? ;) (I jest! Have fun, it that's how you like it!)

Harriet Jones

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2017, 09:32:18 AM »
I'm not sure when wedding webpages became really popular, maybe within the last 10 years or so, but IMO, they seem to be a good place to put important information, like directions to the venue, that you don't want to have to stuff in the envelope with the invitation.  You certainly don't have to have one!

TurtleDove

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2017, 09:51:38 AM »
I think this is a "know your audience" situation. I would assume that the people invited to the wedding care for the bride and groom and are not looking for ways to criticize them. For the "registry" page I would just say where the couple is registered and that they are looking forward to their honeymoon in X location. I would assume those invited would know the bride and groom well enough to give money if that is what they wish to give.

MsOverThinker

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2017, 11:23:56 AM »
"The couple have registered at BandBW (link here), and at fundmyhoneymoon.com, but gifts of your own choosing are also welcome, should guest decide to bring one, however the only gift that is important to the HC is your presence at the celebration.


Thanks, everyone for your opinion! I really like SianMcClay's sentiments. I'll work from there.

SianMcClay

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2017, 12:55:01 PM »
I think this is a "know your audience" situation. I would assume that the people invited to the wedding care for the bride and groom and are not looking for ways to criticize them. For the "registry" page I would just say where the couple is registered and that they are looking forward to their honeymoon in X location. I would assume those invited would know the bride and groom well enough to give money if that is what they wish to give.

Re: the bolded, Absolutely TurtleDove!  Well, said!  I was trying to figure out what was bugging me about people being critical of registries, and I think this is it.  I mean, obviously people will have their opinions about things, but as usual, there is a time and place.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2017, 01:19:07 PM »
Absolutely no cutesy poems.  Asking for anything.  On anything. Anywhere. Anytime.   >:(

Yvaine

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2017, 03:12:36 PM »
Absolutely no cutesy poems.  Asking for anything.  On anything. Anywhere. Anytime.   >:(

And if you must write a cutesy poem, please make sure it scans.  >:D ;D ;D ;D >:D

gellchom

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2017, 07:12:43 AM »
 I'm not crazy about honeymoon registries, but if you're going to have one I don't think there's anything wrong with putting it on your wedding website the same as you would any other kind of registry.

Definitely no cutesy poems!

And I also would avoid anything about assuring the guests that gift chosen by them are "also welcome."   Of course they are; they always are, and the guests don't need permission to give any kind of gift they want, registered or not. I understand the feeling behind wanting to put something like that: you're trying to avoid the impression of only wanting gifts you selected yourself or only cash or whatever. But to me, it somehow does the opposite: it's as if you were saying, "Of course, we all know that you're really only supposed to get us what we registered for, but we will graciously accept it you choose something from your own heart and taste."

kudeebee

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Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2017, 07:48:15 PM »
I'm not crazy about honeymoon registries, but if you're going to have one I don't think there's anything wrong with putting it on your wedding website the same as you would any other kind of registry.

Definitely no cutesy poems!

And I also would avoid anything about assuring the guests that gift chosen by them are "also welcome."   Of course they are; they always are, and the guests don't need permission to give any kind of gift they want, registered or not. I understand the feeling behind wanting to put something like that: you're trying to avoid the impression of only wanting gifts you selected yourself or only cash or whatever. But to me, it somehow does the opposite: it's as if you were saying, "Of course, we all know that you're really only supposed to get us what we registered for, but we will graciously accept it you choose something from your own heart and taste."

I agree with gellchom and the bolded statements.

Don't put any statement about "other gifts are welcome".  A registry is just a guide, a guest does not have to purchase a gift from the registry.  Many give money or gift cards or other gifts they have made/selected.

So keep it simple and list the registry and honeymoon fund.