Since they didn't make a big hoorah about their legal ceramony, I'd hold off on a gift to celebrate their union until the wedding. But I might get them a small housewarming gift because hey they did get a new home together and that doesn't directly have anything to do with the wedding.
see, that doesnt make sense to me. their real wedding was the legal one not the church one. thats just a celebration after the fact.
i sometimes feel that too much emphasis is put on the "big white wedding" day and people are forgetting that the marriage not the day is the point of it all.
So, here's my take on this. And this is coming from a woman marrying another woman in state that has an actual law in our state constitution about how we can't do that legally. In order for us to get any kind of federal marriage benefits, we must present a marriage license from one of the states that recognizes gay
marriage. So we had to decide what we wanted to do, we could have done a detestation wedding and it would've have even been far from home. But we decided we want our wedding here. In the place we've made our home. So our wedding day, with our friends and family present, will be our wedding day. That is the day we make a promise in front of the most important people to us to stick it out with one another come hell or high water.
At some point we'll be taking a trip to the state beside us to get the legal bit done. Haven't decided when exactly yet, but we will be doing it. This is paperwork. Nothing more, nothing less. This isn't our wedding day. This is just, the day we get Uncle Sam what he needs so we can get the same benefits as all the other married people. We just have to do it differently.
Coming from that place, I can see them as two separate things. The ceremony, and the paperwork. Now, for most straight couples (and couples living in places that recognize same sex marriage), this occurs on the same day. You get hitched, you sign the paperwork all in one day (there's even often a picture of the paperwork signing!), but sometimes they have to happen on different days. Most people see the ceremony as the important part. The paperwork is just the legal stuff. It's not about it being a big white wedding, it's about making the promise in front of people you care about who care about you.
Now if we're talking about people who keep having wedding after wedding, that's a problem. Just throw a party for yourself already.