Author Topic: s/o: More than one wedding per couple  (Read 6365 times)

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Acadianna

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2014, 02:56:06 PM »
I agree with other posters that this is a very special occasion, deserving of a celebration.  I would happily attend this kind of party and would gladly bring a gift.

Congratulations to the two of you!

delabela

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2014, 03:40:36 PM »
If I were one of your loved ones, I would want to celebrate with you again. 

cb140

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2014, 03:55:14 PM »
Teenyweeny, because I am unfortunately ignorant in such things: do you have to have another ceremony, or does your civil partnership get automatically converted into a marriage?

Because if there is another ceremony, I don't think there's anything wrong with inviting people to it.

That's what I was wondering. Don't get me wrong, I'd be thrilled for you either way, and certainly wouldn't think you were out of line for having a party/reception whatever - but is a civil partnership automatically converted into marriage, or do you have to "get married"?

lowspark

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2014, 04:21:59 PM »
There was a thread similar to this a while back, http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=128644.0.
Although it's slightly different as you have had the big celebration already and the question on that thread was anticipating doing the big celebration in the future, my answer is essentially the same.

You have something to celebrate. You want to throw a party so that you can share your joy with your friends and family. What could possibly be wrong with that?

BarensMom

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2014, 05:17:02 PM »
I don't think it's the same thing exactly - sure you celebrated your civil partnership, but now you are going to be legally married!  Celebrate!  Have a whopper of a party with bells and whistles and big poofy dresses or tuxes (depending).  This is well overdue, so enjoy!

Knitterly

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2014, 06:36:16 PM »
I think this doesn't fall under the "one wedding per couple" category at all.

Maybe you can put something on the invitations about being thrilled to celebrate your full and equal marriage?

I think anyone who would be close enough for you to invite would also be close enough to be perfectly thrilled to celebrate this milestone with you.

Regarding gifts, you can pass the word along through the unofficial grapeline that this is a no-gifts occasion.

I expect people will buy you gifts anyway.  Gifts are something we give to show love and support*, and so I expect many people will want to give you something.

*As opposed to paying tribute or an entrance fee to a wedding where gifts are demanded.

Dindrane

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2014, 06:41:28 PM »
A civil-partnership-converted-into-equal-marriage is something that is very much worthy of celebration, and I'm sure everyone who attended your wedding will be very happy for how this change in the law affects you and your wife.

So personally, if I knew someone in this situation and was invited to a big fun party to celebrate, I'd absolutely go. I'd definitely give them at least a card to mark the occasion, and possibly some sort of token gift as well, but only because of my own feelings of happiness and not out of any sense of obligation.

In other words, I think what you're planning on doing is fine, although perhaps without the wedding dress, if it doesn't match the formality of your party. Basically, if you wore a knee-length cocktail style dress when you got married, that would be fine for a moderately fancy party, but I wouldn't wear a full-length ballgown style unless you expect your guests to be wearing that level of formality, too.


Iris

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2014, 07:13:14 PM »
Heck, wear the dress, have a party, shout from the rooftops for all I care. This is a huge deal and deserves to be celebrated. As long as you write the words "Celebration party" and not "Wedding" on the invitation I think guests will know what is what in terms of gifts. I also like the idea of cluing in a few close relatives/friends so that they can let people know that it is not a 'wedding gift' occasion if asked. I think most people will at least want to give you a card though (Hello? Hallmark? New opportunity!)

Personally if I were your friend I would buy you the biggest and best bottle of champagne that I could afford, but I think everything goes better with champagne anyway  ;D
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Library Dragon

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2014, 07:17:38 PM »
I think it's a very excellent reason to celebrate, and I'm sure your loved ones feel the same way! In terms of gifts, if I received an invitation to such an event, personally I'd see it more as a bring-wine occasion than a where's-the-registry? occasion. If you are worried about being seen as a gimme-pig, I think the lack of registries will clue people in that you aren't expecting a do-over on all of the wedding present giving. I think I've also seen on EHell that it's not abominably rude to mention that you don't want gifts to a few very close people (parents, BFFs, etc. -- people to whom you're close enough that mentioning worrying about people thinking you want huge gifts wouldn't be rude), and then if other invitees ask these people for input, they can judiciously spread the word.

POD. In fact I was thinking, 'A nice bottle of wine....' when I read this post.

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Teenyweeny

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2014, 07:19:03 PM »
I'm not a big-poufy-dress kind of girl, my dress was a lot like this one, in fact almost identical:



Glad to hear that it wouldn't be a bit weird to have a part-ay. I guess we'll have to wait until the law is firmed up before we send out invitations, but yay!



Dindrane

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2014, 07:27:35 PM »
If that's what your dress looks like, then by all means wear it again! You'll stand out because it's white and people may remember it as your wedding dress, but since you and your wife will be the honorees at this party, there's nothing wrong with standing out for those reasons. It's a lovely dress, and I'd want to wear it again, too.


blarg314

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2014, 07:34:40 PM »

I think the celebration is fine, but you need to be clear that it's not a wedding and you don't want gifts, because if you say the word "wedding" people *will* feel obligated to buy presents.

I'd call it a "We can finally call it marriage!" party, and on the invitations say that you're having a blow-out to celebrate the fact that your marriage is now considered equal. A celebration of the *state's* decision, rather than your own decision, as it were.


Teenyweeny

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2014, 07:44:58 PM »
Ha, I want to do an invitation that somehow includes this noise:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yysnM407rjE

There's no danger of it being too formal.   :D




Iris

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2014, 08:47:36 PM »
Am I the only one who's gotten all excited and wants to go to a party now and DANCE while wearing a fabulous frock?  ;D
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LifeOnPluto

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Re: s/o: More than one wedding per couple
« Reply #29 on: January 20, 2014, 09:12:13 PM »
I agree with Blarg and Iris, above. I'd call it a "celebrate our legal marriage party" rather than a "wedding". If you had a wedding-like civil union (with a ceremony, toasts, speeches, wedding-type gifts given, etc), I personally think it'd be slightly "off" to then go and have an actual wedding reception.

But a fun party, with friends and wine and yummy food? Bring it on!