Author Topic: Driver picks the music?  (Read 5105 times)

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Possum

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2014, 12:21:29 PM »
Driver picks the music, always. 

However, if it's something that will be unpleasant for the passenger, driver should find something else to play. 

Love the Supernatural quote.  It was the first thing I thought of when I saw your thread title.  ;)

TootsNYC

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2014, 12:29:04 PM »
I have to wonder if there's a difference between following etiquette and being polite? Etiquette may say the driver chooses the music, but it doesn't seem polite to knowingly play something that the passenger doesn't like, especially when they really can't get away from it.

I've always liked the diplomatic approach of driver selects 3-4 CDs represeting a variety of music, and lets the passenger choose from those. YMMV.

No clash here--etiquette also dictates that hosts (i.e., drivers of cars) provide an environment that's pleasant for their guests (passengers).

So yes, I think it would be rude to play music that you know your passenger dislikes.

Kimblee

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2014, 12:32:41 PM »
Last week I went out with my friend E.  E is a newer friend, so we are still getting to know each other.   We started talking about music and it turns out that we like all of the same bands except for one.  (Australian hard rock band from the 70s.)  She simply never got into them, which is fine of course. 
One of their CDs is currently on rotation in my car.   The next time E and I go out and I'm driving, would it be rude if I had this CD playing?  Should I put on something else we both like?   Or:

To quote Dean Winchester: "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole"

True. (and oft quoted, although also quoted is "My car, My music. use your own gas if you don't like it." for when we as a group take one person's car, they still have radio rights.) Although I think driver should be considerate. If the passenger truly dislikes a song/artist and there is plenty of other music that is mutually liked, its kind to play something else. (and, I am informed, playing opera CDs so you can drown out your passenger isn't nice.)
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jaxsue

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2014, 12:37:25 PM »
Yes, driver does pick the music, but if you already know that your new friend doesn't like that particular band, the CD should be taken out of rotation while they're in the car. You have plenty in common, music-wise, why not play stuff you'll both like? I have satellite radio, so if it were me I'd choose the station that plays the music we both like.

Funny thing, the driver/music rule: my dad was old-school. He drove 99% of the time, and no matter if he was the passenger or the driver, he chose what was on the radio. That meant long road trips with Paul Harvey, public radio, baseball, and muzak....my own version of hell!  :P

Kimblee

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2014, 12:39:36 PM »
Yes, driver does pick the music, but if you already know that your new friend doesn't like that particular band, the CD should be taken out of rotation while they're in the car. You have plenty in common, music-wise, why not play stuff you'll both like? I have satellite radio, so if it were me I'd choose the station that plays the music we both like.

Funny thing, the driver/music rule: my dad was old-school. He drove 99% of the time, and no matter if he was the passenger or the driver, he chose what was on the radio. That meant long road trips with Paul Harvey, public radio, baseball, and muzak....my own version of hell!  :P

I learned to hate NPR with a passion by high school. My sympathies.
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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2014, 12:50:30 PM »
Driver does pick the music (I tend to agree with Dean), however Driver is also aware Passenger dislikes particular band/genre, Driver does not go out of his/her way to play that band/genre.

For instances, my musical tastes are wide and varied. And I happen to like country music. My best friend hates country music (she says, except for when she does like it because she's wishy washy like that), so when she's in the car with me I don't go out of my way to play country music. However, if I throw on one of my mixes and it has country on it, I'm not dive bombing to get it off either. But I will generally pick more of my rock varieties with her since I know she likes it and I like it.

I had one person who insisted we had to listen to his music! We were carpooling for work and one day I came to pick him up with Kid Rock on. He told me to wait a second, ran inside his house and came back out, as I was driving he pulled out my CD and put his metal one and said "That was just too hillbilly! Got us some good music", I popped his CD out and put on a classical music station and told him if he touched the radio he was walking to work.

Allyson

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #21 on: January 22, 2014, 12:51:03 PM »
I have to say, if I mentioned I didn't like a specific band (and only one specific band, while having mostly the same taste as the other person) and the next time I was in their car they were playing it, I'd probably wonder if they were trying to make a point! I mean, I'd think the point was "try them you'll like them" not "hahaha, suffer, non-driver" but still.

I think it all depends on circumstances. If someone has all their music together and plays it all, I don't think they need to keep in mind who dislikes what and skip specific songs. And if the driver and passenger have wildly different tastes, I think the passenger has to deal with probably listening to something they won't like as much.

metallicafan, I also don't think you have to *never* play that one CD, I just think it might be a bit "hmm" causing by the passenger if it's the first thing you play after the conversation.

jaxsue

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #22 on: January 22, 2014, 12:59:29 PM »
Yes, driver does pick the music, but if you already know that your new friend doesn't like that particular band, the CD should be taken out of rotation while they're in the car. You have plenty in common, music-wise, why not play stuff you'll both like? I have satellite radio, so if it were me I'd choose the station that plays the music we both like.

Funny thing, the driver/music rule: my dad was old-school. He drove 99% of the time, and no matter if he was the passenger or the driver, he chose what was on the radio. That meant long road trips with Paul Harvey, public radio, baseball, and muzak....my own version of hell!  :P

I learned to hate NPR with a passion by high school. My sympathies.

Thank you.  :) I have friends who work in NYC public radio, and while I appreciate their talents, I just can't listen. Way too many hours of "All Things Considered" growing up!

Fi

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #23 on: January 22, 2014, 01:09:55 PM »
Does she actually dislike it or just isn't in to it? If it's the latter and a shuffle rotation of several CDs that she likes and that would be a pain to change, then you may be fine.

But as I'm sure you know, this is all moot, as in two weeks, all the CDs will have turned into Best of Queen.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2014, 01:15:46 PM by Fi »

Yvaine

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #24 on: January 22, 2014, 01:13:53 PM »
But as I'm sure you know, this is all moot, as in two weeks, all the CDs will have turned into Best of Queen.

 ;D ;D ;D

Hmmmmm

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #25 on: January 22, 2014, 01:35:21 PM »
I think it's interesting that so many people follow the rule of the "driver picks the music". For me it's the car owner chooses the station or music but tries to find a compromise that meets everyone's taste. 

So if my sister and I were traveling in my car but she was driving she wouldn't automatically get to switch it over to a station I abhor just because she is driving. It's still my car the same as it would be my home.

When my DD and I were traveling across country we were in her car (though it really is in my name since she was a minor) I still let her have the majority of the music control since we were in her car.

But as the "hostess" in our cars, as Toots said, it's our responsibility to provide an environment that is pleasant to all present. So when DH is in the car with our DD, she'll turn off Taylor Swift because DH really does not like her music.

Yvaine

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #26 on: January 22, 2014, 01:41:48 PM »
I think it's interesting that so many people follow the rule of the "driver picks the music". For me it's the car owner chooses the station or music but tries to find a compromise that meets everyone's taste. 

So if my sister and I were traveling in my car but she was driving she wouldn't automatically get to switch it over to a station I abhor just because she is driving. It's still my car the same as it would be my home.

When my DD and I were traveling across country we were in her car (though it really is in my name since she was a minor) I still let her have the majority of the music control since we were in her car.

But as the "hostess" in our cars, as Toots said, it's our responsibility to provide an environment that is pleasant to all present. So when DH is in the car with our DD, she'll turn off Taylor Swift because DH really does not like her music.

I think the reason the driving generally trumps the ownership, in many people's minds, is that it's the driver who has to concentrate. So if you're driving your sister's car, but she wants to play an artist who puts you straight to sleep, it's not a good idea--even though she owns the car--because then you'll have a sleepy, unsafe driver.

esposita

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2014, 01:43:32 PM »
It seemed to me from the OP that the friend doesn't dislike it, she just never got into it. If that is true, and if its just part of the rotation and might come on sometime, I'd not worry about it at all.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2014, 01:55:21 PM »
It seemed to me from the OP that the friend doesn't dislike it, she just never got into it. If that is true, and if its just part of the rotation and might come on sometime, I'd not worry about it at all.

If it was a song by song shuffle so that that group's music came on for one song every 10 or 12 songs or so, I think it would be fine to leave it.  But if it is a CD by CD shuffle so that you'd be listening to the group's entire CD before switching to another one?  30-45 minutes in a row of music you aren't enjoying would be a lot to take.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2014, 01:56:24 PM »
I think it's interesting that so many people follow the rule of the "driver picks the music". For me it's the car owner chooses the station or music but tries to find a compromise that meets everyone's taste. 

So if my sister and I were traveling in my car but she was driving she wouldn't automatically get to switch it over to a station I abhor just because she is driving. It's still my car the same as it would be my home.

When my DD and I were traveling across country we were in her car (though it really is in my name since she was a minor) I still let her have the majority of the music control since we were in her car.

But as the "hostess" in our cars, as Toots said, it's our responsibility to provide an environment that is pleasant to all present. So when DH is in the car with our DD, she'll turn off Taylor Swift because DH really does not like her music.

I think the reason the driving generally trumps the ownership, in many people's minds, is that it's the driver who has to concentrate. So if you're driving your sister's car, but she wants to play an artist who puts you straight to sleep, it's not a good idea--even though she owns the car--because then you'll have a sleepy, unsafe driver.

I thought Hmmmmm sort of covered it. "Meets everyone's taste," I think she said.
Driver certainly gets to make the final call, especially in terms of safety. Some music might make you irritable or annoyed--that's not a good driving state either.

But even in a home ("ownership") vs. a car ("safety + ownership"), I don't think a host should listen to music she doesn't like just to "be a good host."  "Meets everyone's taste," whether house or car.

But your passenger is also trapped, and playing music they don't like isn't in the least polite, and I think etiquette would forbid it.