Author Topic: Driver picks the music?  (Read 4973 times)

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oogyda

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #30 on: January 22, 2014, 03:29:07 PM »
There is a huge difference between "never really got into"  and "severely dislikes".  If it truly is the former, I would say you're fine leaving that CD in the rotation.  If she actually dislikes the band, it would be nice of you to take it out. 
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Twik

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #31 on: January 22, 2014, 04:11:33 PM »
As someone who once had to listen to 100 kilometers of Alanis Morrissette, whilst having a migraine, I would consider it a great act of consideration to at least consider your passenger's sensitivity (temporary or permanent) to certain musical performers and/or styles.
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katycoo

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #32 on: January 22, 2014, 04:15:51 PM »
I have a much more intimate relationship with my husband than you do with your new friend, and even I try to be considerate of what music I listen to in the car when he is with me.  If I know he doesn't care for something, why would I subject him to it when there's plenty of stuff we both enjoy?  Its not like I get no other opportunity to listen to the stuff only I like.

Yes, as drive I might insist on my right to choose the music but I still make a considerate choice.

Insisting on a particular band when you know the other person doesn't enjoy it strikes me as nothing but petty.

MrTango

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #33 on: January 22, 2014, 04:19:13 PM »
I think the driver gets to pick the music, determine whether the windows are up or down, how the AC or Heat is set, and whether passengers are allowed to use electronic devices (including phones) while the vehicle is moving.

My personal rules while I'm driving are pretty simple:
1) no one touches the radio or environmental controls (including windows) without asking for permission.  I'll most likely say yes, but I reserve the right to say "no."  This also applies to the GPS mounted on the dash.
2) No one touches any other control at all (doing so means you get left on the side of the road and you are never allowed in my vehicle again).
3) When I call for silence, there's a darned good reason and you'd better be quiet immediately and stay quiet until I give the all clear.

metallicafan

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #34 on: January 22, 2014, 04:45:55 PM »
There is a huge difference between "never really got into"  and "severely dislikes".  If it truly is the former, I would say you're fine leaving that CD in the rotation.  If she actually dislikes the band, it would be nice of you to take it out.

OP here.  No she didn't say that she really dislikes the band, just was never into them.  Like I said upthread, I don't mind switching out the CD to something else. 

CakeEater

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #35 on: January 22, 2014, 06:38:01 PM »
I think the driver gets to pick the music, determine whether the windows are up or down, how the AC or Heat is set, and whether passengers are allowed to use electronic devices (including phones) while the vehicle is moving.

My personal rules while I'm driving are pretty simple:
1) no one touches the radio or environmental controls (including windows) without asking for permission.  I'll most likely say yes, but I reserve the right to say "no."  This also applies to the GPS mounted on the dash.
2) No one touches any other control at all (doing so means you get left on the side of the road and you are never allowed in my vehicle again).
3) When I call for silence, there's a darned good reason and you'd better be quiet immediately and stay quiet until I give the all clear.

Do you give your rules before your passenger agrees to ride with you? Seems pretty harsh.

I'd think nothing of briefly rolling down my window for some reason, or switching off the air con vents on my side of the car.

MrTango

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #36 on: January 22, 2014, 08:24:35 PM »
I think the driver gets to pick the music, determine whether the windows are up or down, how the AC or Heat is set, and whether passengers are allowed to use electronic devices (including phones) while the vehicle is moving.

My personal rules while I'm driving are pretty simple:
1) no one touches the radio or environmental controls (including windows) without asking for permission.  I'll most likely say yes, but I reserve the right to say "no."  This also applies to the GPS mounted on the dash.
2) No one touches any other control at all (doing so means you get left on the side of the road and you are never allowed in my vehicle again).
3) When I call for silence, there's a darned good reason and you'd better be quiet immediately and stay quiet until I give the all clear.

Do you give your rules before your passenger agrees to ride with you? Seems pretty harsh.

I'd think nothing of briefly rolling down my window for some reason, or switching off the air con vents on my side of the car.

Adjusting the vents on your own side is one thing.  I was referring to the actual controls (i.e. temperature, fan settings, etc).  Also, in my car, you'd have to ask before you could roll down the window, as I keep the electric window controls locked. If someone reaches for something without asking, I'll tell them to leave whatever it is alone.

Rule 2 is something that anyone old enough to sit in the front seat ought to know without having to be told.

I have only once ever had someone break that rule while in my car, and she's lucky I didn't pull over to the side of the highway and kick her out of my car that moment.  Instead, when we got to our destination (5 minutes later), I told her that she would have to arrange for a seat in one of the other cars in our group as she was no longer allowed in mine.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2014, 08:29:53 PM by MrTango »

Psychopoesie

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #37 on: January 22, 2014, 09:06:03 PM »
There is a huge difference between "never really got into"  and "severely dislikes".  If it truly is the former, I would say you're fine leaving that CD in the rotation.  If she actually dislikes the band, it would be nice of you to take it out.

OP here.  No she didn't say that she really dislikes the band, just was never into them.  Like I said upthread, I don't mind switching out the CD to something else.

Also worth considering that the phrase "just never got into them" may be code for actively dislike them but too polite to say. Depends what your friend is like.

In my car, I try and pick common musical ground with passengers. Don't expect every song to be a match but I'd never knowingly play a whole album of something my passengers didn't like.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #38 on: January 22, 2014, 09:32:22 PM »
One or two songs = fine.

A whole cd, or ACDC's entire back catalogue = rude.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #39 on: January 22, 2014, 09:39:15 PM »
I think the driver gets to pick the music, determine whether the windows are up or down, how the AC or Heat is set, and whether passengers are allowed to use electronic devices (including phones) while the vehicle is moving.

My personal rules while I'm driving are pretty simple:
1) no one touches the radio or environmental controls (including windows) without asking for permission.  I'll most likely say yes, but I reserve the right to say "no."  This also applies to the GPS mounted on the dash.
2) No one touches any other control at all (doing so means you get left on the side of the road and you are never allowed in my vehicle again).
3) When I call for silence, there's a darned good reason and you'd better be quiet immediately and stay quiet until I give the all clear.

Do you give your rules before your passenger agrees to ride with you? Seems pretty harsh.

I'd think nothing of briefly rolling down my window for some reason, or switching off the air con vents on my side of the car.

Adjusting the vents on your own side is one thing.  I was referring to the actual controls (i.e. temperature, fan settings, etc).  Also, in my car, you'd have to ask before you could roll down the window, as I keep the electric window controls locked. If someone reaches for something without asking, I'll tell them to leave whatever it is alone.

Rule 2 is something that anyone old enough to sit in the front seat ought to know without having to be told.

I have only once ever had someone break that rule while in my car, and she's lucky I didn't pull over to the side of the highway and kick her out of my car that moment.  Instead, when we got to our destination (5 minutes later), I told her that she would have to arrange for a seat in one of the other cars in our group as she was no longer allowed in mine.

Are you referring to something like the a/c fan or radio volume? Or something else. Wanting to leave someone beside the road for turning down the radio seems very extreme.

NyaChan

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #40 on: January 22, 2014, 09:52:15 PM »
To be honest, if I told my friend that there was one particular type of music that I did not like and they insisted on playing that when there is a lot of music they knew we both liked, I'd think that friend was kind of a jerk.   

MariaE

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2014, 01:06:17 AM »
Driver picks the music, passenger gets veto-right. There are certain types of music I cannot listen to without getting seriously depressed. Any driver who refused to skip that number or mute the radio while it was on would quickly stop being a friend of mine. Just turning down the music (to a still audible level) wouldn't be enough.

Of course I would explain my reasons - I wouldn't expect them to just know.
 
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scotcat60

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2014, 06:01:09 AM »
If it was a song by song shuffle so that that group's music came on for one song every 10 or 12 songs or so, I think it would be fine to leave it.  But if it is a CD by CD shuffle so that you'd be listening to the group's entire CD before switching to another one?  30-45 minutes in a row of music you aren't enjoying would be a lot to take.

I am so with you there Outdoor Girl. I was once a passenger in a car on the A1(M) in the UK and it was a 5 hour ride, and it felt like most of it was taken up listening to the Best Of Jake Thackeray. For those of you who don't know him, he sang satirical songs, of dark humour, but without being able to actually sing, he sort of vocalised over a short range. One or two songs would have been fine, but not the whole lot, especailly as I was in the back of the car, and i couldn't hear everything clearly.

if it's a short journey, you should be able to put up with a song or two that  you aren't keen on, but a long journey, the driver should be polite and ask if passenger are really into heavy metal or drum and bass or whatever before subjecting fellow travellers to such.

iridaceae

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2014, 06:36:02 AM »
Just to clarify, the quote from the television character was meant to be humorous.   I would have no problem switching out the CD.

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Yvaine

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Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2014, 06:45:31 AM »
There is a huge difference between "never really got into"  and "severely dislikes".  If it truly is the former, I would say you're fine leaving that CD in the rotation.  If she actually dislikes the band, it would be nice of you to take it out.

OP here.  No she didn't say that she really dislikes the band, just was never into them.  Like I said upthread, I don't mind switching out the CD to something else.

Also worth considering that the phrase "just never got into them" may be code for actively dislike them but too polite to say. Depends what your friend is like.


This is a good point. Don't we usually end up recommending, here on this site, saying something like "Eh, it's not my thing" when someone brings up a book/movie/album that we hate with the fire of a thousand suns?  ;D ;D ;D