Author Topic: Driver picks the music?  (Read 5307 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10014
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2014, 09:56:48 AM »
I usually try to pick something my passenger would enjoy, or that won't grate their nerves.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

metallicafan

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 380
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2014, 10:04:10 AM »
One or two songs = fine.

A whole cd, or ACDC's entire back catalogue = rude.

I've been wondering when someone would figure out which band I was referring to.   ;D ;D

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1734
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #47 on: January 23, 2014, 10:42:01 AM »
Driver picks the music, passenger gets veto-right. There are certain types of music I cannot listen to without getting seriously depressed. Any driver who refused to skip that number or mute the radio while it was on would quickly stop being a friend of mine. Just turning down the music (to a still audible level) wouldn't be enough.

Of course I would explain my reasons - I wouldn't expect them to just know.

I think this is closer to where I stand. I don't think a passenger gets an absolute veto, put I think if a passenger expresses a dislike of a specific band or song it is appropriate, the majority of the time to take that on board and to skip that song or band, or to turn off the music, or try to find something you both like.

I don't think a passenger should alter the settings without asking first.

 

MrTango

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2469
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #48 on: January 23, 2014, 11:05:38 AM »
I think the driver gets to pick the music, determine whether the windows are up or down, how the AC or Heat is set, and whether passengers are allowed to use electronic devices (including phones) while the vehicle is moving.

My personal rules while I'm driving are pretty simple:
1) no one touches the radio or environmental controls (including windows) without asking for permission.  I'll most likely say yes, but I reserve the right to say "no."  This also applies to the GPS mounted on the dash.
2) No one touches any other control at all (doing so means you get left on the side of the road and you are never allowed in my vehicle again).
3) When I call for silence, there's a darned good reason and you'd better be quiet immediately and stay quiet until I give the all clear.

Do you give your rules before your passenger agrees to ride with you? Seems pretty harsh.

I'd think nothing of briefly rolling down my window for some reason, or switching off the air con vents on my side of the car.

Adjusting the vents on your own side is one thing.  I was referring to the actual controls (i.e. temperature, fan settings, etc).  Also, in my car, you'd have to ask before you could roll down the window, as I keep the electric window controls locked. If someone reaches for something without asking, I'll tell them to leave whatever it is alone.

Rule 2 is something that anyone old enough to sit in the front seat ought to know without having to be told.

I have only once ever had someone break that rule while in my car, and she's lucky I didn't pull over to the side of the highway and kick her out of my car that moment.  Instead, when we got to our destination (5 minutes later), I told her that she would have to arrange for a seat in one of the other cars in our group as she was no longer allowed in mine.

Are you referring to something like the a/c fan or radio volume? Or something else. Wanting to leave someone beside the road for turning down the radio seems very extreme.

No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

GlitterIsMyDrug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1120
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #49 on: January 23, 2014, 11:09:16 AM »
No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

I had someone do that to me when I was in high school. Though we were stopped at a light at the time, she thought the boys in the car in front of us were cute and wanted me to honk at them. I refused, so she reached over and did it herself. She thought it was cute. I disagreed. I never bothered to invite her back into my car.

magicdomino

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4861
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #50 on: January 23, 2014, 11:30:20 AM »
Are you referring to something like the a/c fan or radio volume? Or something else. Wanting to leave someone beside the road for turning down the radio seems very extreme.

No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

Okay, that's an Out-Of-The-Car offense.  Thou Shalt Not Touch the steering wheel unless the driver has gone into cardiac arrest. 

If it is a short trip and the offending CD is already playing, I wouldn't pull it out.  If it is a long trip, and you have plenty of other music in common, yes, I'd switch it for the time being.
Having said that, my truck has its own iPod Nano with about 1500 songs set on shuffle.  There's Dolly Parton, U2, the Four Seasons, Bon Jovi, Weird Al, Simon and Garfunkel, the Kingston Trio, the Supremes, the Rolling Stones, the Chieftains, Elton John, Guns and Roses, the Arrogant Worms, the Beach Boys, Green Day, Billy Joel, Beausoliel, Tina Turner, the soundtrack from Tommy, the soundtrack from Chicago, several Disney movie songs, Kenny Rogers, Jimmy Buffet, the Beatles, and a wide assortment of other artists and styles.  I 'm not going to delete all of the potentially annoying songs because the nano will be swtiching to another type as soon as the current one is over. 

GlitterIsMyDrug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1120
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #51 on: January 23, 2014, 11:43:55 AM »
Having said that, my truck has its own iPod Nano with about 1500 songs set on shuffle.  There's Dolly Parton, U2, the Four Seasons, Bon Jovi, Weird Al, Simon and Garfunkel, the Kingston Trio, the Supremes, the Rolling Stones, the Chieftains, Elton John, Guns and Roses, the Arrogant Worms, the Beach Boys, Green Day, Billy Joel, Beausoliel, Tina Turner, the soundtrack from Tommy, the soundtrack from Chicago, several Disney movie songs, Kenny Rogers, Jimmy Buffet, the Beatles, and a wide assortment of other artists and styles.  I 'm not going to delete all of the potentially annoying songs because the nano will be swtiching to another type as soon as the current one is over.

I'd be very happy to ride with you and sing along to almost all of the songs...if not all of them (there's always a chance I won't know one).

jaxsue

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10329
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #52 on: January 23, 2014, 02:26:05 PM »
No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

I had someone do that to me when I was in high school. Though we were stopped at a light at the time, she thought the boys in the car in front of us were cute and wanted me to honk at them. I refused, so she reached over and did it herself. She thought it was cute. I disagreed. I never bothered to invite her back into my car.

Someone tried to do that once while I was driving. It was the last time they were in my car. Wow...that is so dangerous, and so stupid!

MrTango

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2469
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #53 on: January 23, 2014, 04:33:56 PM »
No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

I had someone do that to me when I was in high school. Though we were stopped at a light at the time, she thought the boys in the car in front of us were cute and wanted me to honk at them. I refused, so she reached over and did it herself. She thought it was cute. I disagreed. I never bothered to invite her back into my car.

Someone tried to do that once while I was driving. It was the last time they were in my car. Wow...that is so dangerous, and so stupid!

It honestly never occurred to me that someone would be stupid enough to do that, and I'll admit that my reaction was very loud and very not-polite.  That's the reason I'm so adamant about my second rule.

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 14500
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #54 on: January 23, 2014, 04:37:24 PM »
My other peeve is commenting about my driving.  'You're shifting too early.'  'Why aren't you in the fast lane?'  'Why didn't you move to the slow lane after you passed that car?' etc, etc.

Do this to me and you won't ever be my passenger again.  I had one buddy who really got on my nerves with this.  I pulled over and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not interested in his 'advice' and he could either shut his cakehole or he could walk home.  He shut up.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

tinkytinky

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 473
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #55 on: January 23, 2014, 05:36:22 PM »
A lot of it, to me, depends on how hard it is to change the cd. What I mean is, if the cd changer is in the dash, ok - not so hard to change, but if it's in the trunk of the car, or is somewhat hard to get to, that is different. She knows that you do listen to them, so she shouldn't be surprised that you have it in your rotation. You may even earn brownie points by leaving it in the rotation and when it comes on, apologize and simply skip the disc. She will probably be touched that you remembered the conversation and thought enough of her to skip the disc. Now if you have every album by that band/artist and that is the only thing you have in rotation, then I think it would be nice to switch them out. or turn it completely off or listen to the radio where neither of you has control over what is playing. or Pandora.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

blarg314

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8545
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #56 on: January 23, 2014, 09:36:36 PM »

I figure that in general, you try to play music that everyone in the car enjoys, or at least tolerates, and to mix it up a bit, so you aren't always playing one person's tolerate stuff in favour of everyone else's likes.

The driver does get ultimate veto power - driving while listing to music that irritates you isn't a great idea. And the driver does get control over the style of music - if they need bouncy music to keep them alert, for example.  But the passengers also get a limited veto power. I don't think it's fair that the driver insist on playing music that someone else hates, even if it is their car, and insisting on doing so is pretty rude.

I do think it depends a bit on just how picky someone is. I have a friend who dislikes all popular music, on principle, and listens exclusively to classical. So we tended not to pay much attention to his views of the music - sometimes we played classical, but not exclusively.

I have pretty broad tastes in music, but there is some stuff that I loathe badly enough that I would ask to be dropped off at the nearest bus station - rap music with foul lyrics, for example.

AngelBarchild

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 290
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #57 on: January 27, 2014, 08:49:03 AM »
Just to clarify, the quote from the television character was meant to be humorous.   I would have no problem switching out the CD.

To mess with Dean's cassettes means messing with Baby. Never ever a good idea.

Dean's one true paring is his car. Dean/Baby forever  ;D

BeagleMommy

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3259
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #58 on: January 27, 2014, 02:51:56 PM »
I usually try to find something that both my passenger and I like.  DS and I have similar tastes in music (we like a little bit of everything).  DH is so behind the times and sometimes he'll like a song until it becomes popular.  Then he hates it.  ::)

In my car driver picks the music and only the driver gets to sing.

Giraffe, Esq

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 298
Re: Driver picks the music?
« Reply #59 on: January 29, 2014, 07:04:47 PM »
No, she reached out to hit the horn (i.e. she tried to touch the steering wheel).  For the record, we were traveling at about 60 miles per hour at the time.

I had someone do that to me when I was in high school. Though we were stopped at a light at the time, she thought the boys in the car in front of us were cute and wanted me to honk at them. I refused, so she reached over and did it herself. She thought it was cute. I disagreed. I never bothered to invite her back into my car.

Someone tried to do that once while I was driving. It was the last time they were in my car. Wow...that is so dangerous, and so stupid!

I've never had anyone try to honk my horn, but I lit into my sister when she turned on my windshield wipers without asking. 

We were in high school and my wipers were at that stage of needs-to-be-replaced-but-not-super-crazy-urgent-I-don't-think-right?  If it was raining, they were fine.  If it was light mist/splatters of snow?  All they did was smear everything and leave me with NO visibility, whereas before I was fine. 

So I would let the mist/spatters build up until there was enough liquid to actual clear the window.  (Don't ask me why I couldn't spray windshield wiper fluid.  I don't remember.  I was also 17 and new to car ownership and had probably let something go longer than I ought?)

My sister reached out on her own to hit it and turn them on because she thought I couldn't see.  Well, honey, the passenger side visibility is not the same as the driver side.  And I know that I can see okay now, will lose visibility if I turn the wipers on now, and will be fine to turn them on in another 30 seconds.

I was livid. 

So, yeah, I'm on board with "don't fiddle with anything beyond radio/environmental.  Ever."