Hi everyone, after lurking for a long long time I finally decided to join in the fun
BG: I am a part of a group of women that meet every other week. We rotate hosting fairly evenly and we always have tea and a snack (we meet in the evenings). Tonight is my turn.
One lady decided a while ago to become vegan(ish). She has often changed what she is allowing herself to eat, at one point eating chicken once a week, to sometimes going strict vegan. Currently she seems to be more strict with her food choices, but still occassionally eats non vegan things. From what I can see, she will usually eat baked goods, whether or not they contain eggs, butter, etc. but not "visible" things like cheese or whatever. For example I served angel food cake with whipped cream and berries and she ate the cake (containing lots of eggs) but not the whipped cream. This is not a matter of her being unaware, as I make sure to mention that the cake (or whatever) contains such and such, and she says "oh that's ok".
As I said tonight is my turn and I have made a sun dried tomato dip (made with cream cheese) to be served with veggies and pita. I know she will eat the veggies and pita and not the dip, so I had planned to make rice krispie squares as well until I had the lightbulb moment that of course I can't make that because of the gelatin in the marshmallows. (Whoops!)
I don't have time or money to buy anything new, and I could bake some brownies or something, but they wouldn't be vegan. Thing is I know she will probably eat them anyway. But it seems a little weird to me to make extra snacks for the vegan, and then have those snacks not be vegan. Part of it is I am not 100% sure day to day what she is eating or not, which makes it difficult to plan.
So, for tonight and future gatherings, is it rude to make snacks that are not vegan but that I am pretty sure she will be fine with? I guess what I am wondering is how far out of my way should I go to accomodate a dietary restriction that seems to be flexible, without presuming that she will break it?
For the record, in the past I and the rest of the group have sometimes had extra vegan things for her and sometimes not. She doesn't seem to make a big deal of it either way. I value her and her friendship and want to make sure she is comfortable and welcome.