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  • September 21, 2017, 11:21:36 AM

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Author Topic: What a mother of the bride!  (Read 1213 times)

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pattycake

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What a mother of the bride!
« on: September 09, 2017, 12:37:07 PM »
From Dear Prudence, second letter:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/09/dear_prudence_my_mother_in_law_says_she_s_psychic.html

tldr; mother doesn't want daughter's best friend, whom she considered like a daughter, to be bridesmaid because she limps and will ruin the look of the wedding...  :o >:( >:(

Dazi

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2017, 01:00:35 PM »
What a Female Dog. Prudie was right on. Her daughter is absolutely, 100% justified in cutting her off IMO.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Reika

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2017, 01:11:22 PM »
I had to re-read that letter three times before my brain would accept that someone would write something so awful. I fully agree with Prudence on this. Though I did laugh at the bit about being a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie.

gramma dishes

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2017, 01:16:23 PM »
The mom admits she and her actual daughter have never been really close.  I certainly have no problem understanding why that is the case! 

It would be interesting to know if the friend's mother also considers the bride-to-be like her own daughter.  I'm guessing the bride might actually prefer the friend's mother over her own!  I wouldn't fault her for that.

PastryGoddess

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2017, 01:55:31 PM »
The mom admits she and her actual daughter have never been really close.  I certainly have no problem understanding why that is the case! 

It would be interesting to know if the friend's mother also considers the bride-to-be like her own daughter.  I'm guessing the bride might actually prefer the friend's mother over her own!  I wouldn't fault her for that.


 ???  I totally missed that.  I can't imagine why  ::)

rose red

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2017, 03:40:17 PM »
The friend is like a daughter to LW. The LW and real daughter are "never that close."

Um......OK. At least LW is an honest person since she does treat Friend "like a daughter." >:(

Redneck Gravy

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2017, 09:16:24 AM »
I couldn't believe the letter!

What would this mother think if Kate were her daughter and someone asked her to step aside because she didn't walk with an "aesthetically" pleasing gait?

she ought to have the taste slapped out of her mouth, what a witch

Twik

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2017, 09:45:39 AM »
This is one of those letters that you think have to be made up (or at least hope so), but the columnist herself points out how over the top it is.

Of course, if the LW is more inclined to see people as props rather than actual living entities, that may explain why she thinks a "perfect" wedding event where no one shows any flaws is a more significant goal than including people the bride loves and wants. It also explains why she's not close to her own daughter, I suppose. A rather sad way to live.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Redneck Gravy

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2017, 09:56:43 AM »
My opinion part 2:

How is it the LW says Katie is like a daughter to her and yet thinks this way?  :o

Then says daughter and LW were not ever really that close?  ???

what the heck kind of mother is she - closer to her kids friends than her own kids and yet, still thinks it is okay to shun one because of aesthetics?  >:( 

Outdoor Girl

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2017, 10:58:24 AM »
I think the LW is vastly overstating her relationship with Katie, at least in Katie's eyes.
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Luci

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2017, 12:51:44 PM »
When these things come up, I always wonder if the mother would say, "No, dear daughter, I won't let you have a big wedding because you are overweight/in a wheelchair and it wouldn't be pretty."

A friend's best man had cerebral palsy, my nephew gave his daughter away from a wheelchair with a leg extension, another man gave his daughter away walking down the aisle on crutches in a neck brace, and of course I've seen lots and lots of overweight or very thin or very pregnant attendants, punk hairstyles and large tattoos that any number of mother might object to. No one really seemed to care and just enjoyed the love and celebration.

gramma dishes

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2017, 01:02:35 PM »
One of the things I found puzzling was this comment:  "The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue)."

Why did she feel it necessary to differentiate between one cause of a limp and another?  It just seemed so strange to point it out as though birth defect = okay, medical issue  = not okay (or maybe vice versa).

Redneck Gravy

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2017, 04:12:48 PM »
One of the things I found puzzling was this comment:  "The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue)."

Why did she feel it necessary to differentiate between one cause of a limp and another?  It just seemed so strange to point it out as though birth defect = okay, medical issue  = not okay (or maybe vice versa).

I kind of think she was trying to indicate it was not a temporary situation. 


gramma dishes

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2017, 04:20:24 PM »
One of the things I found puzzling was this comment:  "The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue)."

Why did she feel it necessary to differentiate between one cause of a limp and another?  It just seemed so strange to point it out as though birth defect = okay, medical issue  = not okay (or maybe vice versa).

I kind of think she was trying to indicate it was not a temporary situation.


Ahh ... yes, that makes sense.

Winterlight

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Re: What a mother of the bride!
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2017, 08:36:42 AM »
The LW says she sees Katie as another daughter. Her own "has never been that close" and is no longer speaking to her. That says a lot about the LW to me.
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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