Author Topic: declaring someone part of the wedding party  (Read 371 times)

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Lizard Happy

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declaring someone part of the wedding party
« on: Yesterday at 04:00:56 PM »
Soon after my brother got engaged, we were at a family dinner. My aunt, who lives a good distance away and we rarely see, walked up to my brother's fiancee (who she had never met), and said "my daughter will be your flower girl." At the time, the "flower girl" to be was 15. My not yet SIL just kind of smiled and changed the subject.


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Re: declaring someone part of the wedding party
« Reply #1 on: Yesterday at 04:13:58 PM »
Well bless her heart... ::)


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Re: declaring someone part of the wedding party
« Reply #2 on: Yesterday at 04:32:20 PM »
I actually kind of did this once. I feel half bad about it. My SIL, once we finally convinced her (passively. lazily. when it came up, not a gung ho battle) that she didn’t need six bridesmaids and she didn’t need even numbers, had two bridesmaids – me and her sister. She was talking to my mom about something and maid of honor something else and she looked like she didn’t quite know what to say about the “of honor” part. So I interjected that I was her maid of honor. And her sister was her matron of honor. We’re both “of honor”. And her sister should stand next to her at the altar. 

She never said Boo about it. I think she liked not having to choose a “favorite”.

(She hadn’t actually seen her sister in probably seven years and they were never close, whereas I had been seeing her once a week for a couple of years and we get along well.)


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Re: declaring someone part of the wedding party
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 11:51:44 PM »
It's unlikely that the 15-year-old will want any part of this.

But a 15-year-old flower girl isn't a bad idea.  At least she won't balk at the start of the aisle, or throw a tantrum, or dump all the flowers in one place, or scream for her mommy, or announce that she needs to poop.
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Re: declaring someone part of the wedding party
« Reply #4 on: Today at 01:10:43 AM »
When a friend of mine got married, her FSIL told her that she expected to be MOH. Friend hadn't even considered her as a bridesmaid at that point, and they had only met twice beforehand. Friend politely told her no and stood her ground when FSIL threatened to boycott the wedding. Thankfully Friend's now-DH backed her 100% and FSIL deigned to attend the wedding as a guest
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.


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Re: declaring someone part of the wedding party
« Reply #5 on: Today at 10:34:40 AM »
When my friend Joan got married, she decided she would not have any attendants. She deliberately chose to go this route, excluding her own sister (about her age), in order to avoid including the groom's two sisters, whom she didn't like.

Joan also has a much-younger (half-) sister from her dad and stepmom, who was about 5 at the time. The stepmom told her daughter that she could be Joan's flower girl, and got her all excited about the pretty dress and so forth. ::) Joan, not wanting to make waves, decided to allow it (and apologized to her adult sister, because now she was including one sister and not the other).

At the wedding, the stepmom also produced a small boy in a little tux--some relative of hers who had been invited with his parents--and put him in the procession as the ring-bearer. I asked Joan, "Who's that?" and she's like, "Sigh. I don't know." The kids were well-behaved and looked cute, so I suppose all's well that ends well, but I would have been pretty mad if someone pulled either of those on me.