Author Topic: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?  (Read 7080 times)

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veronaz

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #45 on: January 27, 2014, 03:14:28 PM »
I'd say "You look grea!." then move on to another subject.

Georgie

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #46 on: January 28, 2014, 06:17:57 AM »
When my Aunt's  friend  complained that no one noticed that she lost 10 pounds, Aunt commented "When you remove a table spoon of dirt from a mountain, its hard to see the difference"

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #47 on: January 28, 2014, 06:53:51 AM »
When my Aunt's  friend  complained that no one noticed that she lost 10 pounds, Aunt commented "When you remove a table spoon of dirt from a mountain, its hard to see the difference"

Dayum... that's cold.

I think I love your aunt.
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cicero

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #48 on: January 28, 2014, 06:58:47 AM »
If your friend hadn't seen Barb since their college days, how would she have any way of knowing what Barb looked like at any time in the intervening years?  For example, if Barb weighed something around 135 pounds in college and she looks like she weighs about that right now, how would any of you have had any way of knowing that at some point she had weighed 155 pounds?  If her friends hadn't seen her at that weight, of course they wouldn't know that she'd lost weight!
that actually happened to me - i've been overweight for a long time. a few months ago i was at the uppermost limit of weight, then i lost ~24 lbs. it so happened that i am *back* to the weight i was about 6 years ago (i know because i fit into the clothing i bought at that time). when i was recently at a family event, people who've seen me over the past six years definitely can see the difference, but people who saw me 6-7 years ago, and now, see the same 'me'.

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NyaChan

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #49 on: January 28, 2014, 09:48:24 PM »
If your friend hadn't seen Barb since their college days, how would she have any way of knowing what Barb looked like at any time in the intervening years?  For example, if Barb weighed something around 135 pounds in college and she looks like she weighs about that right now, how would any of you have had any way of knowing that at some point she had weighed 155 pounds?  If her friends hadn't seen her at that weight, of course they wouldn't know that she'd lost weight!
that actually happened to me - i've been overweight for a long time. a few months ago i was at the uppermost limit of weight, then i lost ~24 lbs. it so happened that i am *back* to the weight i was about 6 years ago (i know because i fit into the clothing i bought at that time). when i was recently at a family event, people who've seen me over the past six years definitely can see the difference, but people who saw me 6-7 years ago, and now, see the same 'me'.

Well they have been in the same town.  Neither moved and while they aren't friends, they had seen each other as recently as May. 

TootsNYC

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #50 on: January 28, 2014, 09:58:25 PM »
I'd say "You look grea!." then move on to another subject.


Or say, "You look great! How'd you do it?" And let her talk on the subject for a while.

YoginiSaysYes

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #51 on: January 29, 2014, 03:27:23 PM »
I lost about a quarter of my body weight a couple years ago (and gained it all back in the last six months  :-[), and I got a LOT of comments about it. Friends knew I was craving the positive reinforcement, coworkers asked my coworker BFF if it was okay to say things to me, and random friends of friends usually just blurted it out. Most of the time I was thrilled with the comments and was happy to talk about it, but it's all about the phrasing. "You look great, have you lost weight?" is so so different than "OH MY LAWD, you have lost SO much weight, you look AMAZING!"

In this scenario I probably would have blinked a few times and simply said, "Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to say anything. Good job, you."

TurtleDove

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #52 on: January 29, 2014, 03:33:13 PM »
Most of the time I was thrilled with the comments and was happy to talk about it, but it's all about the phrasing. "You look great, have you lost weight?" is so so different than "OH MY LAWD, you have lost SO much weight, you look AMAZING!"


I can't tell which one you were okay with and which one was offensive?  I think these things are so delicate because not everyone reacts in the same way.

YoginiSaysYes

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #53 on: January 29, 2014, 04:02:06 PM »
I feel like the former is a more subtle comment that merely states a fact (granted, as a question), whereas the latter places more emphasis on how I've lost a LOT and I look so much BETTER.

Does that clarify?

TurtleDove

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #54 on: January 29, 2014, 04:03:36 PM »
I feel like the former is a more subtle comment that merely states a fact (granted, as a question), whereas the latter places more emphasis on how I've lost a LOT and I look so much BETTER.

Does that clarify?

Thanks - it clarifies how you percieve the statements, but I would have expected the opposite! 

YoginiSaysYes

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #55 on: January 29, 2014, 04:05:23 PM »
Just goes to show why no one should ever say anything about anyone's body.  :)

Lula

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #56 on: January 31, 2014, 11:23:23 AM »
"I don't comment on people's bodies.  Bean dip?"

sweetonsno

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Re: How do you respond to so awkward a statement?
« Reply #57 on: January 31, 2014, 07:56:32 PM »
I feel like the former is a more subtle comment that merely states a fact (granted, as a question), whereas the latter places more emphasis on how I've lost a LOT and I look so much BETTER.

Does that clarify?

Thanks - it clarifies how you percieve the statements, but I would have expected the opposite!

I think the problem is that it's very easy to hear "you were unattractive before" when the relative adjective is emphasized.